The Afterlife

[as_we_learn]

Death's considered the end.
I see it as the day I get to rest.
The day my muscles have an
excuse to just stop movement.

I've broken from this shell we call life.
There's more to explore with perfect vision.
For goodness sake I never thought about
how hard it would be to learn to walk
in the Afterlife.

I don't see any flames near.
Maybe this isn't hell.
Though maybe I deserve it.
No likes the way sadness feels inside.

I've broken from this shell we call life.
There's more to explore with perfect vision.
For goodness sake I never thought about
how hard it would be to learn to walk
in the Afterlife.

This place almost feels like a punishment.
A plague inside my wandering mind.
Let the leaves be my sheets
and the rocks be my pillows.
The grass on the ground will be my matress.
I will sleep until a person passes by.
Just because the silence leaves me deaf
doesn't mean I'll stay asleep until the next end.

[CellarGhosts]

Nice. I didn't like it as much as your other work, but it wasn't really bad or anything. Some parts just read kind of awkward, I'd suggest re-wording some parts like the second stanza, and then work a bit on the last four lines. I liked where you were going with those lines, but they could be better. That's just my opinion though

[as_we_learn]

yea thanks man the last four lines could go a little further. i see what you're saying about the second stanza. thanks for reading

[CellarGhosts]

Sure thing. I'm going to post some new stuff here shortly, so keep an eye out! haha
thanks

[as_we_learn]

i'll def check it out man. can't wait to read it. i edited the last part

[lfdfforever]

I like the last stanza the most. The rest could be better but overall this is good.

[as_we_learn]

thanks man