If I could write a song that changed the world...

[watchthesky07]

Hey everyone, this is the first time I've posted lyrics/poetry here, but let's give this a shot. Here's the lyrics to a song I recently wrote. It's to an upbeat, folk-rock tune. Let me know what you think.

If I could write a song that changed the world,

would it change the way you think about me now?

Because I'm wracking my brain, gonna drive myself insane

I've got to get these words on paper somehow

And if I put a million miles on my car

if i travelled everywhere both near and far

would I come back with more, find what I've been looking for

or just have wasted the last month out on the road ?

The temperature is falling as we speak

And the colors will be changing on the trees

After half a year, I can finally look into a mirror

and say "I like the person looking back at me"

So tell me, what's your plans for Friday night?

Because, if you say the word, I'll cancel mine

And I can tell you if you keep it up like this

You'll have me write another throw-away love song.

[CellarGhosts]

Meh...it was alright. Pretty simplistic, but that's not exactly a bad thing. If a song has really good music/melody, simple lyrics can be overlooked. So idk if you have music for this or not haha....
But anyway, let's see...the good:
"Or just have wasted the last month out on the road...the tempature is falling as we speak/and the colors will be changing on the trees/after half a year, I can finally look into a mirror/and say "I like the person looking back at me"

I liked that bit. Nothing astounding, but it was good. A tad reminiscent of Jimmy Eat World, to me anyway, so that's definatley a good thing haha.

Now...the bad:
"If I could write a song that could change the whole world/would it change the way you think about me now/because I'm wracking my brain, gonna drive myself insane/I've got to get these words on paper somehow".
Sorry to say, I didn't like that part. First of all, the line about "i'm wracking my brain..." I'd expect that sort of line/rhyme in a Beyonce song, but c'mon, man! And then for some reason that first line about changing the world...just didn't work for me. But that ones' just my opinion.
So good effort, don't get discouraged or anything, and keep trying.

[watchthesky07]

haha thanks man, I guess your right about the "wracking my brain, gonna drive myself insane" line. That's not too original or profound. Well, thanks for the kind words, and I'll see if I can crank out some more lyrics/poetry soon.
p.s. the music/melody is pretty catchy, making the song really fun to sing/play -- which is probably why I failed to notice the lame-ness of some of the lines :-P

[CellarGhosts]

Haha, cool, then. I just now noticed this is supposed to be "folksy" haha. Which is cool. I like folk music haha. But yea, just work on it some more. Maybe if I actually heard this with music, my opinion might change a little, if its just meant to be fun to sing along to.
You're welcome for the criticism/kind words. But be warned, not everyone here is gonna be as nice as me haha. So keep guard man haha.