Making the Front Page

[CellarGhosts]

Notes: I've been listening to Bob Dylan's "Modern Times" today, so that might explain the styling of the lyrics here. I wrote music for this, and it ended up sounding sort of folksy. Like a much more mellow Against Me!, or something. Well, thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.
=================================== =======================
Making the Front Page

With the steel rails rattling beneath my feet
I'm shifting around in this torn-up seat
Leaning my head wearily against the clouded glass
Hear the whistle sing and part the air,
Remind me that my heart's broke and she don't care
Wheter or not I really last
[Chorus]
One heart becomes two - paper-thin flesh bleeding blue
Coming home under clouds as they unload,
Rain upon the dirt, pouring down onto the rooftops
Our shadows on the wall slowly corrode

I see the steel mills and the coal mines
Under the telephone wire and power lines
Laboring like my restless thoughts that fill each night
Well the wheat sways like a drunken vagrant
In the wind outside, as I'm busy making payments,
Filling out checks for the morning's early light
[Chorus]
One heart becomes two - paper-thin flesh bleeding blue
Coming home under clouds as they unload,
Rain upon the dirt, pouring down onto the rooftops
Our shadows on the wall slowly corrode

[Interlude]
Mothers standing on their doorsteps
With the daily news wrapped up in twine
I see them in passing blurs outside my window
As I'm rolling on down the line
Sweetheart, I miss your raven hair
And darling I miss your sky blue eyes
Do you think of me when the sun goes down?
Like I've dreamt of you these last few nights

[Chorus]
One heart becomes two - paper-thin flesh bleeding blue
Coming home under clouds as they unload,
Rain upon the dirt, pouring down onto the rooftops
Our shadows on the wall slowly corrode
I'm pulling into the station now, stepping off of this train
I see you standing there, with a bittersweet smile in the rain

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I'm not too sure about the title...I had a hard time naming this one. So the title might change sooner or later. I dunno...

[as_we_learn]

good job man. this one has to be one of my favorite of yours man. i think that the title doesn't really fit this song. maybe the title could be something in the chorus or something like "The story that made the headlines " i dunno haha. overall this is pretty good man keep it up.

[CellarGhosts]

good job man. this one has to be one of my favorite of yours man. i think that the title doesn't really fit this song. maybe the title could be something in the chorus or something like "The story that made the headlines " i dunno haha. overall this is pretty good man keep it up.
Thanks! I'm def. going to change the title, and maybe add a few more lines, maybe another verse or two. Thanks again. Glad you liked it.

[a speedo model]

I think this is the best thing you've posted. I loved it from start to finish.


Damn, I feel like I haven't posted in here in forever...weird

[CellarGhosts]

I think this is the best thing you've posted. I loved it from start to finish.


Damn, I feel like I haven't posted in here in forever...weird
Haha, wow, thanks! I really appreciate it.
Hmmm...it has been a bit since I saw something from you on here haha.

[a speedo model]

Haha, wow, thanks! I really appreciate it.
Hmmm...it has been a bit since I saw something from you on here haha.
You really continue to grow and ge better. Love seeing that, haha.

I'll hopefully have some actual music to post mid-next week. It's weird how this place has been taken over by unfamiliar faces (save for a few)

[CellarGhosts]

You really continue to grow and ge better. Love seeing that, haha.

I'll hopefully have some actual music to post mid-next week. It's weird how this place has been taken over by unfamiliar faces (save for a few)
Wow, thanks alot. It's really encouraging, hearing that sort of feedback haha.

Cool. I might check the actual music out. I've got dial-up internet, which is slower than should be legal, so downloading/uploading anything takes hours. Sad, but true. So I might check it out.

And yeah, there have been quite a few new people here. Odd how the regulars that I mentioned have been absent right when quite a few new people came in.

[to kill this]

Well the wheat sways like a drunken vagrant
In the wind outside, as I'm busy making payments,
Filling out checks for the morning's early light
ummm amazing. well the whole thing was...but idk i just loved this part.

[CellarGhosts]

Well the wheat sways like a drunken vagrant
In the wind outside, as I'm busy making payments,
Filling out checks for the morning's early light
ummm amazing. well the whole thing was...but idk i just loved this part.
Thanks! I'm quite proud of that part as well haha
PS - Nice user title haha. Teddy Geiger. Though I did like some of the stuff he did on that Love Monkey show. I actually liked that show...too bad it got cancelled way back when

[as_we_learn]

yo you mind checking out my new "the highway loves wanderers" that would be great.Also i have to agree what with josiah said this is the best thing you have posted. keep it up and keep the lyrics coming.

[CellarGhosts]

yo you mind checking out my new "the highway loves wanderers" that would be great.Also i have to agree what with josiah said this is the best thing you have posted. keep it up and keep the lyrics coming.
Haha sure thing, my man, I'll go check it out now. Nooo problem
And thanks, I actually feel this is my best piece as well. And I do indeed plan to keep the lyrics coming haha.

[as_we_learn]

yea can't wait for the music whenever thats coming. i would def want to hear this song man

[CellarGhosts]

yea can't wait for the music whenever thats coming. i would def want to hear this song man
Haha, I know I talk about having music for alot of my stuff, which I do, but I'm waiting to get a decent recording program for the computer to do it all, since the only other way is to record directly to a cassette tape, then user an adapter cable to transfer the recording to the computer, then upload it. Plus I can't play and sing at the same time for shit haha. Which is why I'm holding out for a multi-tracking-capable program So we'll see, sooner or later. Thanks though. Keep an eye out. I'll make a MySpace artist page when I have some songs recorded, so everyone can check them out there. And then proceed to laugh their asses off.

[as_we_learn]

Haha, I know I talk about having music for alot of my stuff, which I do, but I'm waiting to get a decent recording program for the computer to do it all, since the only other way is to record directly to a cassette tape, then user an adapter cable to transfer the recording to the computer, then upload it. Plus I can't play and sing at the same time for shit haha. Which is why I'm holding out for a multi-tracking-capable program So we'll see, sooner or later. Thanks though. Keep an eye out. I'll make a MySpace artist page when I have some songs recorded, so everyone can check them out there. And then proceed to laugh their asses off.
dude i really don't have any recording equipment. all i have is the mic in my mp3. i record myself playing the guitar and then put it in the computer. then i just play the guitar anf record my voice over it . the recording is decent. anyways hope you get that program so we can here your stuff.

[CellarGhosts]

dude i really don't have any recording equipment. all i have is the mic in my mp3. i record myself playing the guitar and then put it in the computer. then i just play the guitar anf record my voice over it . the recording is decent. anyways hope you get that program so we can here your stuff.
That's cool. Thanks, though, I hope I get it soon too. I saw a couple in at Half-Price Books in Greenwood (near where I live haha) for about $18.00 so that's a pretty cool deal. I'm going to get it soon...hopefully haha

[CellarGhosts]

Bumping this like a sad little shit - haha really though, I feel this is my best so far, and I'd like more opinions. Thanks, all.

[OveriseFan]

Could you make your stuff easier to read?

I don't understand why you need to label parts, nor do I understand why you can't space out stanzas...

That's the reason I don't read most of your stuff, it's hard on the eyes.

[CellarGhosts]

Haha, hard on the eyes? I'm sorry haha...I'll try to make it a little easier to read. I feel I need to label parts, so people know that it's lyrics I'm submitting, not a poem. And I guess I don't space out certain stanzas because they're the verses, so all the lines are together. But I guess I could try messing with it a little.

[OveriseFan]

Haha, hard on the eyes? I'm sorry haha...I'll try to make it a little easier to read. I feel I need to label parts, so people know that it's lyrics I'm submitting, not a poem. And I guess I don't space out certain stanzas because they're the verses, so all the lines are together. But I guess I could try messing with it a little.

What does it matter?

People can sort out a chorus and everything. It doesn't matter whether it's a poem or lyrics anyway.

I didn't mean just the verses, there are times when you just put (verse lyrics here)[chorus](chorus lyrics) and it's frustrating to read to me.

Keep it all to the left (don't bother centering it) and don't label your parts. Break them up by stanzas, not labels.

[CellarGhosts]

Well I guess it doesn't matter all that much, but alot I'll get someone saying it's crap because there's too many words in one line or too many modifiers, which can be excessive in poem, but in lyrics, sometimes you need them. Not always, but if you need to keep a certain flow going. I dunno...never mind...but ok, next thing I submit, I'll keep it left, and ditch the labels.

[OveriseFan]

Well I guess it doesn't matter all that much, but alot I'll get someone saying it's crap because there's too many words in one line or too many modifiers, which can be excessive in poem, but in lyrics, sometimes you need them. Not always, but if you need to keep a certain flow going. I dunno...never mind...but ok, next thing I submit, I'll keep it left, and ditch the labels.

Who cares?

You can take their advice, or you can not.

They'll say that whether it's a poem or lyrics.

(By the way, sometimes, the whole modifier thing is true, and you should work on cutting them down when writing lyrics.)