my new song....

[BuriedAlive]

im not sure if its any good. the song is kinda about how your creator or your parents kinda ruined your life with lies and everything else. trying to make you the person you want them to be not the person you want to you to be. (sorry i thought it needed an explanation) i dont have a title for it though.


my love is slowly fading.
my heart has been rip and torn
my blood is slowly running down my face.
my body calcified, dipped in lime
my life has been destroyed.
the shooting star has ruined me.
as i meander through the sky
my body feeble and frail, slowly fermenting
roiling hate, deities of our generation
my life futile, contemplating suicidal ideals
trying to purge my life, unable to senile
im dead in my skin, as it pulls tightly
feel cocooned in misery
lies buried in me, under my skin
help me purify the truth
pardon me, as i pray for life
we are children of a star
exploding into dust
to be born again, help me
my soul stands laughing
how could i let this go by?
someone help me
the stars have rained down on me
the sky is no more, gravity hold us down
down for the heavens, to explore our real world

[proeuthanasia]

hm..it's alright. i really like a couple lines in it. it has awesome potential, and could use some revision. work on it a little, replace some words. are you sure you know what senile means?

[BuriedAlive]

damnit they lied to me. i was looking for a different word to use instead of weak. and senile was in there. it sounded good. but it means old age.

[proeuthanasia]

hahahahhahahahah that's the funniest fucking thing i've heard in a long time. see chris? don't look for big words to use that 'sound cool'. just write what comes to mind. i've said it a million times and i still stick with it.....songs always turn out better in the end when they come from the heart, not from a dictionary.

[BuriedAlive]

no its only cuz i dont like the word weak and i already used it or did. and it would sound dumb if you said weak like 5 time in the same verse or what not. but i must have removed the line using weak. feeble and frail also mean weak and if i would've said weak, weak blah blah next line weak it would have sounded poorly written.