gambling under desert lights

[as_we_learn]

I like to take gambles
with a blindfold on my two certain eyes.
21 is a number I always wish for
right next her seven digits.

Dealer start to hand out your cards
because my anxious hands are waiting for their arrival.
The flashy lights were supposedly to increase appeal.
They're really for our worst spirits revival.

The desert air is the most soothing.
Though no one feels it's importance.
We're always falling into the stomachs of great liars.
Taking bids for luxery while we're there for the thrills.

Dealer start to hand out your cards
because my anxious hands are waiting for their arrival.
The flashy lights were supposedly to increase appeal.
They're really for our worst spirits revival.

I guess I'm out of dumb luck.
Burning out $20 bills for the opposite of fun.
They're better than magicians and street hustlers.
Always ripping me off with my pupils directed at them.
Still they offer alcoholic drinks to further ignorance
and now here I lay with sand between my fingers.
My waiting hope misses the sound of the winning jackpot sounds.

[XxIronistxX]

I guess I'm out of dumb luck.
Burning out $20 bills for the opposite of fun.
They're better than magicians and street hustlers.
Always ripping me off with my pupils directed at them.
Still they offer alcoholic drinks to further ignorance
and now here I lay with sand between my fingers.
My waiting hope misses the sound of the winning jackpot sounds.

I laughed when i read this part. (Yeah, i'm strange.) This was good though. Really interesting.

[OveriseFan]

I'll go in depth on this later, because I feel like you could be good, but you always fall just short.

Hopefully you'll take the advice in future writing.

I'm off to shower, then I'll go in depth.

[OveriseFan]

I like to take gambles
with a blindfold on my two certain eyes. Why 'certain' eyes? Also, it's not exactly on your eyes, but rather 'over' or 'covering' your eyes, so you can't see. Right?
21 is a number I always wish for Why 21? You don't explain this.
right next her seven digits. This is poorly phrased, but I love the idea.

Dealer start to hand out your cards The grammar is wrong here. The dealer starts. It not only makes it gramatically correct, but adds an inner-rhyme.
because my anxious hands are waiting for their arrival. That's why he started dealing, huh? That doesn't make much sense. Make it "and" instead of "because".
The flashy lights were supposedly to increase appeal. I guess it's technically correct, but it sounds like you have a typo. I'd make it "The flashing lights were apparently to increase appeal"
They're really for our worst spirits revival. And because of the last line's problems make this "But they're... etc."

The desert air is the most soothing.
Though no one feels it's importance.
We're always falling into the stomachs of great liars.
Taking bids for luxery while we're there for the thrills.

I guess I'm out of dumb luck.
Burning out $20 bills for the opposite of fun. Gambling is the opposite of fun? Blah. Poor line.
They're better than magicians and street hustlers. This sucks too.
Always ripping me off with my pupils directed at them. Really poor diction in this line.
Still they offer alcoholic drinks to further ignorance Ugh. You're trying to be like... prophetic here. It's really bad.
and now here I lay with sand between my fingers. Sand? What are you talking about? Maybe Nevada's deserts? From the pictures I've seen it's not exactly 'sandy'. Unless you're talking about Atlantic City or something in terms of gambling...
My waiting hope misses the sound of the winning jackpot sounds. This is so poorly phrased... It's a decent idea to end it, but it's really poorly written.

So yeah...

Good luck with your writing, and use this advice in future writing, not just to revise this.

There's also a ton of spelling errors that I didn't even bother with. Run it through a spell check please.

[as_we_learn]

So yeah...

Good luck with your writing, and use this advice in future writing, not just to revise this.

There's also a ton of spelling errors that I didn't even bother with. Run it through a spell check please.
thanks man i'll def take it into consideration. thanks for reading. i'll revise and try to bring something that is better than the rest of my work man. im gonna try to impress you man (which is very difficult for me). anyway thanks man

[xsxarexsoxscene]

I think you have absolutely fantastic ideas and plots but you just need to work on how you get them across.

[as_we_learn]

I think you have absolutely fantastic ideas and plots but you just need to work on how you get them across.
yea. people always say i have good ideas i just need to at least be mediocre at trying to get my point across. im gonna try harder next time. thanks for reading.