Love Songs on the Radio

[OveriseFan]

There's plenty more writing coming. Nothing is more inspirational than leaving the place you live. First person to point out that thoughts is the same as whatever you're thinking gets a cookie.

Love Songs on the Radio

You could take the long drive home,
To sort out your thoughts or whatever you're thinking.
I can't remember the last time we talked
Without it ending in an argument or me trying to be convincing.

I never said that I didn't love you,
But I never did apologize.

Find me where
The ocean meets the land to form the horizon...
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you anywhere but a town that we both hate.

You could take the long drive home,
To try to fall in love with anyone you pass
He probably seemed charming when you first met
But if its love then why does it never last?

Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone,
And maybe we will find ourselves again.

And maybe someday you'll understand,
But for now I'd be content just to hold your hand.
And maybe someday you'll understand,
But for now I'd be content just to hold your hand.

Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone.

Just because you're falling asleep next to him,
It does not make it love.

[CellarGhosts]

I really liked this. I dunno if being compared to other artists/lyricists puts you off or not, but I could definatley see this being a Jimmy Eat World song, for some reason. It is different though, so it's not like it was ripped off. Favorite parts were from "and maybe someday you'll understand...." to "...i'll take you a place where we can be alone"

[OveriseFan]

I really liked this. I dunno if being compared to other artists/lyricists puts you off or not, but I could definatley see this being a Jimmy Eat World song, for some reason. It is different though, so it's not like it was ripped off. Favorite parts were from "and maybe someday you'll understand...." to "...i'll take you a place where we can be alone"

I strive for originality, but if I'm compared to a band like Jimmy Eat World (Fingers crossed we're talking Clarity.) then I'm flattered.

[CellarGhosts]

Haha cool. It was original, definatley, but it was just sort of reminiscent of JEW. Sorry, but this actually reminded me of Futures' lyrical topics/stylings hehe...but yeah, Clarity is brilliant too.
Anyway, cool piece.

[OveriseFan]

Haha cool. It was original, definatley, but it was just sort of reminiscent of JEW. Sorry, but this actually reminded me of Futures' lyrical topics/stylings hehe...but yeah, Clarity is brilliant too.
Anyway, cool piece.

That's cool. I haven't actually given Futures much of a listen...

[CellarGhosts]

It's actually my favorite album of theirs. Not sure why...Mostly cause it has the songs 'Drugs or Me' and '23' on it. Great songs. But anyway they're supposed to have a new record out pretty soon. I'm sure it'll be pretty sweet...

[as_we_learn]

damn man i love the flow this piece has.i could hear this have a slow beat to it. i love it man. good job

[black rose]

It's actually my favorite album of theirs. Not sure why...Mostly cause it has the songs 'Drugs or Me' and '23' on it. Great songs. But anyway they're supposed to have a new record out pretty soon. I'm sure it'll be pretty sweet...Ditto.

[a speedo model]

This was great.

[OveriseFan]

This was great.

Ah thank you.

Maybe I should listen to Futures...

[watchthesky07]

Ah thank you.

Maybe I should listen to Futures...

that you should, that you should

[OveriseFan]

that you should, that you should

But the singles were balls...

[ArTkY_]

I've moved so many times in my life that it doesn't matter anymore to me.

[OveriseFan]

I've moved so many times in my life that it doesn't matter anymore to me.

Not moving, just like... travelling.

[Mannella]

Your writing is brilliant. Certainly has a Jimmy Eat World flair.

My roommate has the unmastered studio version of "Futures". So raw, you can actually hear the vocalist's voice crack on certain parts of the album. Simply spectacular music.

Good show.

[missmatilde]

:nod:oh my god this song is so amazing.. I'd love to actually hear it... I could see myself playing it wt reapeat-one on my ipod 4 ages :clap:

the bridge was what I love the most

[lfdfforever]

I've just read something beautiful.

[OveriseFan]

I've just read something beautiful.

What are you reading? ;-)

Thanks buddy.

[lew_1987]

this is very good, i can really imagine this as a song, something that doesn't happen often with me.

[lightcollapse]

i was gonna come in here and compare it to a jimmy eat world song, but apparently people have done that already haha. i love it. it reminds me of 23 (my favorite JEW song) and other JEW songs because like, it's powerful, but not overly complex.

[CellarGhosts]

i was gonna come in here and compare it to a jimmy eat world song, but apparently people have done that already haha. i love it. it reminds me of 23 (my favorite JEW song) and other JEW songs because like, it's powerful, but not overly complex.
Haha yeah, same thing I told him. As I guess you noticed. Good call on the JEW song. 23 is beyond amazing haha. One of my favorite songs ever. It's got that amazing amount of atmosphere and emotion that those guys so masterfully create haha

[vandalsandquinn]

I still want a cookie

[OveriseFan]

I still want a cookie

YOU NEVER SAID IT!

(but here)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9a/Choco_chip_cookie.jpg/275px-Choco_chip_cookie.jpg

[mattybobviously]

This is one of the best songs I've heard on here in recent memory. If this was to ever be recorded, I'd definitely want a listen.

[liveloud4life]

Good song, dude. I like the line, "find me where the sunrise meets the town that I grew up in." I love Futures, the guitar at the beginning. It's not that difficult but there's just something about it. It rocks out so hard. And it's weird for me to say that cuz I'm normally pretty preoccupied with difficulty and complexity.

[OveriseFan]

Good song, dude. I like the line, "find me where the sunrise meets the town that I grew up in." I love Futures, the guitar at the beginning. It's not that difficult but there's just something about it. It rocks out so hard. And it's weird for me to say that cuz I'm normally pretty preoccupied with difficulty and complexity.

This is one of the best songs I've heard on here in recent memory. If this was to ever be recorded, I'd definitely want a listen.

Ah thank you both so much.

I have a really rough, one-take, improv recording of this, but I don't want to post that crap.

I'm going to work on this over the rest of spring break, and hopefully get something good down. At the moment it's just really simple chords... It will probably stay that way. haha.

[OveriseFan]

(This is mostly for Tariq, Josiah and Matt Rawlings, but others are welcome to respond.)

If anyone wants to hear a really crappy one-take recording of this [The guitar and main vocals were recorded together.] (with some extra vocal overdubs) and throw around ideas with me about structure/harmony/lead guitar parts and tell me what needs to be fixed (Besides timing issues and some really awful vocals) I'll send you it.

Only do it if you know what you're talking about though... no offense, but I don't want you to IM me just to hear it. You'll get a good version soon enough. It'll even have handclaps!

[wyverna]

Ah thank you.

Maybe I should listen to Futures...

I say you should.

/a page late

[black rose]

(This is mostly for Tariq, Josiah and Matt Rawlings, but others are welcome to respond.)

If anyone wants to hear a really crappy one-take recording of this [The guitar and main vocals were recorded together.] (with some extra vocal overdubs) and throw around ideas with me about structure/harmony/lead guitar parts and tell me what needs to be fixed (Besides timing issues and some really awful vocals) I'll send you it.

Only do it if you know what you're talking about though... no offense, but I don't want you to IM me just to hear it. You'll get a good version soon enough. It'll even have handclaps!of course i want to hear it but i'd love to seriously see what you're doing and see what ideas i can throw in. if you could PM me, that'd be great. :-)

[lew_1987]

(This is mostly for Tariq, Josiah and Matt Rawlings, but others are welcome to respond.)

If anyone wants to hear a really crappy one-take recording of this [The guitar and main vocals were recorded together.] (with some extra vocal overdubs) and throw around ideas with me about structure/harmony/lead guitar parts and tell me what needs to be fixed (Besides timing issues and some really awful vocals) I'll send you it.

Only do it if you know what you're talking about though... no offense, but I don't want you to IM me just to hear it. You'll get a good version soon enough. It'll even have handclaps!

i would love to hear it and give constructive advice/criticism

[OveriseFan]

Uh...

Don't take this the wrong way, because you know I love you guys, but are either of you really musicians/songwriters? Because this is a really crappy, rough recording that I don't want you to have just to listen to. It was just to get ideas down, and now I want to work on it to get it to be a real song. Think of this as me going into a studio with a producer, basically. You wouldn't want to hear it before it's finished. It's like seeing the new Harry Potter without all of the amazing effects it will have. (Which, by the way, people have.)

[black rose]

Okay I see what you are saying James. I just wanted to honestly listen to it and give you my thoughts. If you don't want to send it to me, than that's no big deal, really. But it's not because I'm edging at my seat to listen to it, I would love to help, though. But again, it's your work and you're entitled to do whatever you want with it. I totally understand.

[vandalsandquinn]

(This is mostly for Tariq, Josiah and Matt Rawlings, but others are welcome to respond.)

If anyone wants to hear a really crappy one-take recording of this [The guitar and main vocals were recorded together.] (with some extra vocal overdubs) and throw around ideas with me about structure/harmony/lead guitar parts and tell me what needs to be fixed (Besides timing issues and some really awful vocals) I'll send you it.

Only do it if you know what you're talking about though... no offense, but I don't want you to IM me just to hear it. You'll get a good version soon enough. It'll even have handclaps!
I'm a musician, not a great songwriter, but a decent musician. I'll give it a listen

[OveriseFan]

Ok, I'm just posting it here. The vocals are awful on the main track, so you know. The timing is off in places, don't worry about telling me that.

I'm looking for opinions on structure (I.E. Does it need an intro? Does it need more of an outro?) as well as what I can do in terms of harmony as well as a lead-guitar or piano part. Anyone with any opinion's appreciated. I didn't mean to be a dickhead.

Don't judge me on this song. It's pretty bad.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/wjk9g8

[black rose]

Ok, I'm just posting it here. The vocals are awful on the main track, so you know. The timing is off in places, don't worry about telling me that.

I'm looking for opinions on structure (I.E. Does it need an intro? Does it need more of an outro?) as well as what I can do in terms of harmony as well as a lead-guitar or piano part. Anyone with any opinion's appreciated. I didn't mean to be a dickhead.

Don't judge me on this song. It's pretty bad.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/wjk9g8No worries, I don't think you sounded like a dickhead. It's your music, and you can do whatever you want with it. I'm downloading it now.

[OveriseFan]

P.S. I was sick-ish when I recorded the main vocals (which were recorded along with the guitar) which is why they sound so funny. It's also why there's coughs and sneezes. I thought they added flavor. :shrug:

[mattybobviously]

I like where it's headed. Some sort of intro would be nice, and the transition from the chorus to the second verse felt slightly un-natural, but I really liked the ending of the song.

[black rose]

So here comes the critism:-)

Okay first off, your vocals are too quiet. I can barely hear you except for the overlapping vocals. The guitar def. drowned you out. Yes, you are off timing in parts, esp. in the beginning, but apparently you already know that.

In the beginning, you cracked on the 'to be convincing' part. Your voice isn't crazy bad, or crazy great. I think with some vocal lessons [are you taking any already? i thought i remember you saying something about them?] you could really improve, esp. your upper register.

Sure the chords are really simple, but I don't think this song really needs any complex arrangement or anything. I say stick simplicity, but it's your stuff.

I liked the part with these lyrics-
Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone,
And maybe we will find ourselves again.
The overlapping vocals are a really great idea there and when cleaned up and what-not, will be very good.

[OveriseFan]

I like where it's headed. Some sort of intro would be nice, and the transition from the chorus to the second verse felt slightly un-natural, but I really liked the ending of the song.

Definately agree about the chorus to second verse transition. It sucked. That was one of the timing problems too...

[vandalsandquinn]

You can definetly work on your singing and how it flows, the guitar playing was alright. It can be cleaner, just keep practicing. And your vocals were definetly too quiet.

[OveriseFan]

So here comes the critism:-)

Okay first off, your vocals are too quiet. I can barely hear you except for the overlapping vocals. The guitar def. drowned you out. Yes, you are off timing in parts, esp. in the beginning, but apparently you already know that.

In the beginning, you cracked on the 'to be convincing' part. Your voice isn't crazy bad, or crazy great. I think with some vocal lessons [are you taking any already? i thought i remember you saying something about them?] you could really improve, esp. your upper register.

Sure the chords are really simple, but I don't think this song really needs any complex arrangement or anything. I say stick simplicity, but it's your stuff.

I liked the part with these lyrics-
Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone,
And maybe we will find ourselves again.
The overlapping vocals are a really great idea there and when cleaned up and what-not, will be very good.





Yeah, the voice crack was part me being sick, part it being an F# [If I'm thinking of the right part...]

I should take some voice lessons...

[black rose]

Yeah, the voice crack was part me being sick, part it being an F# [If I'm thinking of the right part...]

I should take some voice lessons...You really should. [Unlike me], you don't have a totally crappy voice, haha. It def. wouldn't hurt, though.

[OveriseFan]

You can definetly work on your singing and how it flows, the guitar playing was alright. It can be cleaner, just keep practicing. And your vocals were definetly too quiet.

The vocals were too quiet because of crappy micing and the live recording. The main vocals will sound more like the overdubs when recorded well. I don't know if that's good or bad...

What do you mean by "how it flows"? What parts?

[OveriseFan]

You really should. [Unlike me], you don't have a totally crappy voice, haha. It def. wouldn't hurt, though.

I know I should, I just need to talk to my brother about talking to his teacher.

[vandalsandquinn]

The vocals were too quiet because of crappy micing and the live recording.

What do you mean by "how it flows"? What parts?
The guitar sounded off time with the vocals

[black rose]

I know I should, I just need to talk to my brother about talking to his teacher.Well, it's just that easy.

[OveriseFan]

The guitar sounded off time with the vocals

Indeed it was. The guitar itself was off-time.

Well, it's just that easy.

Sort of.

[vandalsandquinn]

Indeed it was. The guitar itself was off-time.



Sort of.
But this has some potential. Keep working on it James

[a speedo model]

(This is mostly for Tariq, Josiah and Matt Rawlings, but others are welcome to respond.)

If anyone wants to hear a really crappy one-take recording of this [The guitar and main vocals were recorded together.] (with some extra vocal overdubs) and throw around ideas with me about structure/harmony/lead guitar parts and tell me what needs to be fixed (Besides timing issues and some really awful vocals) I'll send you it.

Only do it if you know what you're talking about though... no offense, but I don't want you to IM me just to hear it. You'll get a good version soon enough. It'll even have handclaps!
Hahaha, I'd like to hear. Sorry I didn't read this before.

[OveriseFan]

Hahaha, I'd like to hear. Sorry I didn't read this before.

It's posted up here.

It's not very good. haha.

[a speedo model]

It's posted up here.

It's not very good. haha.
I'll have to put it on my ipod. But I will in a second.

[ArTkY_]

I'm going to finally critique this song.

It's very, very childish in my opinion... very little maturity in this song whatsoever. It was just... too simple. Your age shows a lot in this piece.

Sorry, just not feeling it.

[lew_1987]

Uh...

Don't take this the wrong way, because you know I love you guys, but are either of you really musicians/songwriters? Because this is a really crappy, rough recording that I don't want you to have just to listen to. It was just to get ideas down, and now I want to work on it to get it to be a real song. Think of this as me going into a studio with a producer, basically. You wouldn't want to hear it before it's finished. It's like seeing the new Harry Potter without all of the amazing effects it will have. (Which, by the way, people have.)

i write songs and lyrics all the time and i've been in several bands, so i reckon i'd be able to give you some advice

EDIT: just realised it's been posted, i'll take a listen now

[lew_1987]

ok... so you know the vocals aren't great, so i'm not going to go on about that. the lyrics don't really seem to fit some bits, like often they should work in phrases, but sometimes they overlap on here and it sounds messy. and some of it is out of time because of this. you have some good ideas for the vocals however, i think this could be improved a whole lot. hope this helps a bit

[a speedo model]

Hmmmmm, listening now....

[a speedo model]

I think your voice is pretty good, not great but with better production it could sound better.

I think the quality is the problem with this. The guitar is fine but the vocals sound bad. And I do agree the music seems...simple. Maybe because it's rough, but I don't know it felt very straight forward.

[OveriseFan]

I think your voice is pretty good, not great but with better production it could sound better.

I think the quality is the problem with this. The guitar is fine but the vocals sound bad. And I do agree the music seems...simple. Maybe because it's rough, but I don't know it felt very straight forward.

The quality sucks, yeah...

I want to try to get into the studio at my school, but it's not exactly open for public use. I'm gonna talk to people though and see if I can use it just after school one day. Otherwise, I'll go over to my friend's house and record this with some electronic stuff. (I'll post a link to one of his songs one day. It's post-rock-ish.) It won't be great quality, but better than my home stuff...

Do you have any ideas for making the music more... detailed? For want of better word...

[a speedo model]

The quality sucks, yeah...

I want to try to get into the studio at my school, but it's not exactly open for public use. I'm gonna talk to people though and see if I can use it just after school one day. Otherwise, I'll go over to my friend's house and record this with some electronic stuff. (I'll post a link to one of his songs one day. It's post-rock-ish.) It won't be great quality, but better than my home stuff...

Do you have any ideas for making the music more... detailed? For want of better word...
Sounds good, I really want to get in a studio too. Doing it on laptop isn't fun. But oh well.

Hmmmm, I usually start with something basic like a chord progression and then add little parts. Maybe a little piano, just continue to think on it I suppose.


PS my brother has been trying to get FL Studio, it's taking longer then he thought. Should have it around Mon-Tues. Sorry for the delay.

[OveriseFan]

Sounds good, I really want to get in a studio too. Doing it on laptop isn't fun. But oh well.

Hmmmm, I usually start with something basic like a chord progression and then add little parts. Maybe a little piano, just continue to think on it I suppose.


PS my brother has been trying to get FL Studio, it's taking longer then he thought. Should have it around Mon-Tues. Sorry for the delay.

It's cool.

Yeah, I'll probably write a piano part when I get back to school and add some drums or something too, possibly. Maybe strings. I don't know. I'll fool around with stuff.

I want to add harmonies too. And handclaps for the "And maybe someday you'll understand" part.

And then make it not suck.

[a speedo model]

It's cool.

Yeah, I'll probably write a piano part when I get back to school and add some drums or something too, possibly. Maybe strings. I don't know. I'll fool around with stuff.

I want to add harmonies too. And handclaps for the "And maybe someday you'll understand" part.

And then make it not suck.
See, that's all it takes. It always starts with a stripped down piece that you just simply add little touches to. It all falls in place. This doesn't suck, it's just a rough beginning.

[Pau1]

I like that alot.
Especially the thinking/convincing comparison.

[manican sex]

thiss is good brother.