It's Almost Spring You'll Get Over It

[Mando]

I know I usually wight crap but I really liked this one:





two roads why are you giving me the choice?
where's the escalator to take me to heaven?
And if you decide to take me now tell my love I'm waiting.

How can I be sure if you're really there, if you never call me?
Without my eyes how can I see?
You cured a bind man, will you cure me of this apathy?
Make me care, make me believe that you're really there so I can see.
Till then I'm sleeping.

I'm Dormant like a volcano, sleeping like a baby bear
why can't you wake up from your dream and stop believing?
Not everything in life's a bitch, not everything in life's perfect
I'm trying to find the middle man.
Am I the only friend who's saving you?

How can I be sure is you're really there, if you never call me?
Without my eyes how can I see?
You cured a bind man, now you cure me of this apathy.
Make me care, make me believe that you're really there so I can see.

When I'm over let me rest.
Use my body, burn the rest
and toss me into the sea.

When I'm over let me rest.
Use my body, burn the rest
and toss me into the sea.

[missmatilde]

"When I'm over let me rest.
Use my body, burn the rest
and toss me into the sea."
I like this part :)

[Mando]

thanks a lot.
I was all, "rest and rest, eh?"
then I though, "I'll do what I please."


I liked it.

[Mando]

lahme.

[lew_1987]

i didn't like this at all. doesn't do anything for me. no lines jumped out at me.

[Mando]

alright.

[a speedo model]

two roads why are you giving me the choice?
where's the escalator to take me to heaven?
And if you decide to take me now tell my love I'm waiting.

(First line is ok, not great could use work. Second is awful. Third is very good.)

How can I be sure if you're really there, if you never call me?
Without my eyes how can I see?
You cured a bind man, will you cure me of this apathy?
Make me care, make me believe that you're really there so I can see.
Till then I'm sleeping.

I'm Dormant like a volcano, sleeping like a baby bear
why can't you wake up from your dream and stop believing?
Not everything in life's a bitch, not everything in life's perfect
I'm trying to find the middle man.
Am I the only friend who's saving you?

(Both of these stanzas aren't very good. Both start off with lines that are uninteresting and boring. They get better as they go, but still aren't great.)

How can I be sure is you're really there, if you never call me?
Without my eyes how can I see?
You cured a bind man, now you cure me of this apathy.
Make me care, make me believe that you're really there so I can see.

(I don't like this)

When I'm over let me rest.
Use my body, burn the rest
and toss me into the sea.

When I'm over let me rest.
Use my body, burn the rest
and toss me into the sea.

(I liked this alot.)


Overall, it's alright I suppose but it's cluttered with filler lines that are boring and uninteresting.

[Mando]

thanks a lot.
I do realize it needed work but sometimes I get bored with the song and don't go any further.
I am going to keep writing this song with the lines you approved. Thanks for directing me.

[CellarGhosts]

I agree with all that's been said already, really. The only part I really liked was the bit at the end:

When I'm over, let me rest
Use my body, burn the rest
And toss me to the sea.

I don't know if you were meaning to rhyme "rest" with "rest" there, but if you were, it somehow works, for me anyway. If not, just disregard this haha.

But keep working on it.

[manican sex]

yeah id bass the poem of the last couple of lines and try and build more