The Tongue Spins Like The Blender's Motor (Plz Read and Comment)

[takingthursday]

The Tongue Spins Like The Blade

Fog pouring from the heat of your breath
And mist leaking out from the cracks of my eyes
When this mystery finally melts
To tip the cup and sip away the sweat

Door knobs and stairwells
The light switch and steering wheels

Her signature on my mind
And her pen writes on my eyes
Tall trees blowing in the wind
As much proof that you exsist

When she plugs me in and puts her hand in my back
She moves me to speak with the power of her grip

Curtain chains that won't pull
And glass doors that won't push
This dream of mercury forms on my skin
When the cold blue clouds make their way to my bed

Cabinets full of your forbidden fruits
Waiting for your disposal
The key to your shed in the depths under your tongue
Taunting me with the hopes of being untied from these ropes

Wooden spoons and plastic knives
The contrast of your trusted word
With a genie you make a wish
But with me you better get on your knees (to beg)

You better clasp your hands tight
And pray something set me straight
'Cause when I'm red I'm on top of my game
And it's impossible to sit me down

[takingthursday]

Notice the title of this song has changed:

Please post suggestions/opinions!!! Thanks!

[Rufio217]

And mist leaking out from the cracks of my eyes
^-- sounds weird because you don't have cracks in your eyes, but i understand what you were saying.

When this mystery finally melts
To tip the cup and sip away the sweat
^- i do not understand this line at all, the mystery melts away..alright, but what does that have to do with tipping a cup and drinking sweat?

Door knobs and stairwells
The light switch and steering wheels <- door knobs and stairwells is fine, but light switch to steering wheel analogy has no relavance

Her signature on my mind
And her pen writes on my eyes
^- I am assuming this means that her picture is all you can see

Tall trees blowing in the wind
As much proof that you exsist <- wind makes trees blow as well, what differs her from wind, or are you saying she is like teh wind...like she is there but can't be seen?

Curtain chains that won't pull
And glass doors that won't push
This dream of mercury forms on my skin
When the cold blue clouds make their way to my bed

You start this stanza by foreshadowing being stuck somewhere not getting out...i don't quite understadn the whoel "dream of mercury forms on my skin" If the curtains are stuck...how can you see the clouds...is there no ceiling?

Cabinets full of your forbidden fruits
Waiting for your disposal <- forbidden fruits are suppose to be eating, they are a symbol of temptation, so why would you disspose of them, unless she is resisting temptations, but resisting to what?

Key? Tongue? Ropes? .......WHAT?

Wooden spoons and plastic knives
The contrast of your trusted word <-(how does this contrast?)
With a genie you make a wish <- ^----these 4 lines don't go together at allcontrasting words, then to genies and begging? and what wish is it you will grant her for begging?
But with me you better get on your knees (to beg)

You better clasp your hands tight
And pray something set me straight
'Cause when I'm red I'm on top of my game
And it's impossible to sit me down <- And shouldn't be there

This whole story went in so many directions first your suffering stuck in your house, not being able to get out with her in your mind, then next thing your demanding she is on her knees begging because your "red" and you can't be talked to(sit me down)....i just don't see it, it's a plot that couldn't work, ya know from being sad to having her crawl back to you adn you taking advantage of that by making her beg, but you won't listen b/c your pissed?....sorry dude, there are some good lines in the song, but each stanza is a different story...

[ISuckYoungBlood]

Rufio217, don't you see he just put a bunch of lines that sounded cool. Its really supposed to be "A Bunch Of Lines That Sounded cool".

[Rufio217]

lol...i see that now...

[takingthursday]

LOL

That's not what it is guys!!!