This is Perfect for personal life.

[BridgesFolly]

I'm not going to use the word "love" because at my age i wouldnt know what i was talking about



but.


My ex whom i dated for a year and i are great friends still. And we have what we call "the perfect system" which means that he and i will continue to get together, make out, ect ect, but if one of us starts having feelings for the other, we'll back off and leave eachother alone for a while.


we lost our virginity to eachother. And i told him the other day that i do "love" him, in the sense that every flaw, and who he is as a person, is amazing to me. I ment it purely as friends, not in a romantic sense at all.


I guess what i need help with is:

If we do care for eachother, enjoy eachothers company, we are physically attracted to eachother, and we are totally open and honest with eachother; why cant we date?

he told me himself he hasnt found anyone at all, and the people he's been even remotely interested in have been complete bitches. He tells me constantly i'm one of the coolest girls he's ever met, and he loves how fun i am to be around. We even told eachother we dont care if we hook up with other people, yet last time we hung out he made a point of telling me hadnt so much as touched another girl in a long time.


i know i care for him alot, i know i'd be overjoyed to be with him, so... why not?

why keep up the "perfect system" ?

[Iamhome]

I'm not going to use the word "love" because at my age i wouldnt know what i was talking about



but.


My ex whom i dated for a year and i are great friends still. And we have what we call "the perfect system" which means that he and i will continue to get together, make out, ect ect, but if one of us starts having feelings for the other, we'll back off and leave eachother alone for a while.


we lost our virginity to eachother. And i told him the other day that i do "love" him, in the sense that every flaw, and who he is as a person, is amazing to me. I ment it purely as friends, not in a romantic sense at all.


I guess what i need help with is:

If we do care for eachother, enjoy eachothers company, we are physically attracted to eachother, and we are totally open and honest with eachother; why cant we date?

he told me himself he hasnt found anyone at all, and the people he's been even remotely interested in have been complete bitches. He tells me constantly i'm one of the coolest girls he's ever met, and he loves how fun i am to be around. We even told eachother we dont care if we hook up with other people, yet last time we hung out he made a point of telling me hadnt so much as touched another girl in a long time.


i know i care for him alot, i know i'd be overjoyed to be with him, so... why not?

why keep up the "perfect system" ?

The "Perfect System" will never work. It is an excuse to be immature. (don't take that in offense, I was trying it out about a month ago.) It keeps the fun part of relationships going, yet gives you room to be unfaithful, unloyal, and a whore. (which is what I was doing :))... Think about it; he's fully open with you about never touching a girl, but if you did something with a guy, would you feel right telling him? And if you did, do you think that would have any bearing on his decisions not to touch another girl?

You two should probably try and date, just make sure you don't have interest in any one else, on both ends... That's what makes for a perfect relationship.

[BridgesFolly]

The "Perfect System" will never work. It is an excuse to be immature. (don't take that in offense, I was trying it out about a month ago.) It keeps the fun part of relationships going, yet gives you room to be unfaithful, unloyal, and a whore. (which is what I was doing :))... Think about it; he's fully open with you about never touching a girl, but if you did something with a guy, would you feel right telling him? And if you did, do you think that would have any bearing on his decisions not to touch another girl?

You two should probably try and date, just make sure you don't have interest in any one else, on both ends... That's what makes for a perfect relationship.


Well of what i said is with the fact that he says he doesnt want to date. I'm just questioning why that is if he doesnt seem to find interest in someone else, ect ect.


And yes i would feel alright telling him, i've tried dating people since we broke up, which was almost a year ago. And he's told me when he's hooked up with other girls. So. We both know we can move on easily, but we're both comfortable with eachother, and i suppose even Lazy to a degree. We're to lazy to end it and find something new.


hm

[Chancetobe]

Friends with benefits is never really going to work out. It should be all or nothing. Give him an ultimatum.

[FatJordan]

Change your "perfect system" into a real "prefect system" that you would much rather have. Just tell him how you feel and try it.

[BridgesFolly]

the scary part about that is i know what he'll say.
i think i'm mostly fooling myself into thinking that eventually with our "perfect system" he will develop feelings.


but he wont. And i guess its just kind of hard to think of that. If i do tell him its all or nothing, and i do let myself move on, i know he'll come back asking for our perfect system back. Which then brings me back to thinking he does/will have feelings.


its all a very confusing circle.

[Chancetobe]

What is his reason for not wanting a relationship?

[BridgesFolly]

cause when we dated for a year, we were very immature and controlled eachother alot.
and we got mad over stupid stuff and lied to eachother


now its been a year, and we're honest about everything. I care for him now more than i ever did when we dated, just because we have nothing to hide from eachother.


actually i'm not sure his exact reasoning, cause i've asked and all he's said is "it just didnt work out last time"


i dunno. i'm not sure what he's afraid of, he knows we've both changed alot.

[Iamhome]

cause when we dated for a year, we were very immature and controlled eachother alot.
and we got mad over stupid stuff and lied to eachother


now its been a year, and we're honest about everything. I care for him now more than i ever did when we dated, just because we have nothing to hide from eachother.


actually i'm not sure his exact reasoning, cause i've asked and all he's said is "it just didnt work out last time"


i dunno. i'm not sure what he's afraid of, he knows we've both changed alot.

Maybe he is like I was and is scared of commitment. Maybe he thinks in the back of his mind, 'If I get with her, this is the last girl I'll ever be with... This will be the end of my single life...' and though he says he doesn't find anyone now, he still thinks there might be someone else out there. I went through a lot of changes to finally figure out that life is too short to take very special people for granted, and I'm sure he'll figure it out too. Don't hurt yourself whatever you do, don't set yourself up for it either. The way you feel is more important then the way you make him feel, ALWAYS.

[BridgesFolly]

Maybe he is like I was and is scared of commitment. Maybe he thinks in the back of his mind, 'If I get with her, this is the last girl I'll ever be with... This will be the end of my single life...' and though he says he doesn't find anyone now, he still thinks there might be someone else out there. I went through a lot of changes to finally figure out that life is too short to take very special people for granted, and I'm sure he'll figure it out too. Don't hurt yourself whatever you do, don't set yourself up for it either. The way you feel is more important then the way you make him feel, ALWAYS.


Thanks dear. I'm a pretty strong person. I mean of course it hurts, but, i dont let it get to me as much as i used to. Cause its just Matt. its how he is. I know theres nothing i can do, and i feel like i just want to sit him down and say everything i'm thinking, and let him see what i've been feeling and then say after all of that


"But We'll never be together. And i cant keep doing this. We're using eachother. Our perfect system is really tearing me apart emotionally."

[JulieLynn]

being only 18, let this thing ride out. You never know where the two of you will end up in a year. Love each other as friends for the time being.....time will make the truth come out. you just have to give it time, as much as it might suck to wait.

[Iamhome]

Thanks dear. I'm a pretty strong person. I mean of course it hurts, but, i dont let it get to me as much as i used to. Cause its just Matt. its how he is. I know theres nothing i can do, and i feel like i just want to sit him down and say everything i'm thinking, and let him see what i've been feeling and then say after all of that


"But We'll never be together. And i cant keep doing this. We're using eachother. Our perfect system is really tearing me apart emotionally."

You could do that... but if you are really strong... this is a really good idea too...

being only 18, let this thing ride out. You never know where the two of you will end up in a year. Love each other as friends for the time being.....time will make the truth come out. you just have to give it time, as much as it might suck to wait.

[JulieLynn]

You could do that... but if you are really strong... this is a really good idea too...

awww, are you saying i give good advice?

[Chancetobe]

awww, are you saying i give good advice?

I thought it was a good idea.

[JulieLynn]

I thought it was a good idea.
:-)

[Iamhome]

awww, are you saying i give good advice?


I'm saying you did give good advice. I'm not sure if its a constant thing or not! :-p

[JulieLynn]

I'm saying you did give good advice. I'm not sure if its a constant thing or not! :-p

oh Josh...:-p ...you big bully!

[Iamhome]

oh Josh...:-p ...you big bully!

Our tongues are moving simultaneously. Amazing.

[JulieLynn]

Our tongues are moving simultaneously. Amazing.

oh swooonnnn!

[Iamhome]

oh swooonnnn!


:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p

[JulieLynn]

:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p
:jackoff::rape::jayz::-p

WHOAAAA

:fuck:

[Iamhome]

WHOAAAA

:fuck:

hahaha.. very nice. I just realized you can mouseover to see the commands... DAMN i'm slow.

[matb]

I'm not going to use the word "love" because at my age i wouldnt know what i was talking about



but.


My ex whom i dated for a year and i are great friends still. And we have what we call "the perfect system" which means that he and i will continue to get together, make out, ect ect, but if one of us starts having feelings for the other, we'll back off and leave eachother alone for a while.


we lost our virginity to eachother. And i told him the other day that i do "love" him, in the sense that every flaw, and who he is as a person, is amazing to me. I ment it purely as friends, not in a romantic sense at all.


I guess what i need help with is:

If we do care for eachother, enjoy eachothers company, we are physically attracted to eachother, and we are totally open and honest with eachother; why cant we date?

he told me himself he hasnt found anyone at all, and the people he's been even remotely interested in have been complete bitches. He tells me constantly i'm one of the coolest girls he's ever met, and he loves how fun i am to be around. We even told eachother we dont care if we hook up with other people, yet last time we hung out he made a point of telling me hadnt so much as touched another girl in a long time.


i know i care for him alot, i know i'd be overjoyed to be with him, so... why not?

why keep up the "perfect system" ?

i dont know how old he is, but i remember the time around 18 (which was only a few years ago) as being a huge time for change. it may be that until things have settled down, it may not be the best idea to be together, at least for the time. It sounds like yall love each other, and that he has some pretty strong feelings for ya. maybe its worth wanting more for the time being if it can lead to a better, more supportive relationship later, in whatever form that may be.