Realm of Mine

[destroyedmonkey]

Hey I just wrote this song and I could use some feedback on it..

Together, on a phoenix's back
Gliding through the skies
Apparitions from the past
One instant, it just dies

Arising from my nightly delusion
Reappearing to realitys confusion
Yearning once again to revist
That realm of mine

[My illusion
This realm of mine
Flawless place
Where hearts intertwine]

Nightfall brings another illusion
Together, on the highest mountain
Viewing the wonderous evening sky
Hand-in-Hand, eye-to-eye

Awaken with a new conclusion
Light creeps in, evicting the dark
Desiring once again to return
To that realm of mine

[chorus]

Heart to heart, Gazing at the stars
Together, in that secret place of ours
Wonder if we ever could be
Together, in reality
(Together)

[chorus x2]

Reality.. Where our hearts will intertwine
(some day)

[TheFallenScene]

Don't use the line including mars. Or change the words mars. Please. I just looks .. bad. Thank You.

[TheFallenScene]

Don't use the line including mars. Or change the words mars. Please. I just looks .. bad. Thank You.

[destroyedmonkey]

"Heart to heart, Gazing at the stars
Together, on the planet Mars
Wonder if we ever could be
Together, in reality
(Together)"

I'm editing the line "Together, on the plnaet Mars"
to "Together, in that secret place of ours"
hope that improves the song