Oh god this is soooo important I need help with this and FAST!!

[Misha-chan]

I wrote a poem about some stuff that happened, or rather, about my boyfriend, and I think he's gonna dump my sorry ass, so I wanted to make sure this poem was good enough to maybe...show him or something...it' called You're So Much More Affectionate When We Can't Touch

In a way it seems as though you have two personalities
One gone unmentioned
In the weirdest way, you love me
You know just what to say and when to say it

Your way with words is amazing
I don't know what to think of it
It seems so strong in ways no one can describe,
Except maybe us
All while on the other hand

In the weirdest way
The other gone unmentioned as well
You can't seem to speak a word
No association at all
The worst of words and behavior
I don't even know where to begin

The few words you speak to me while you're sober
Don't mean a thing to anyone
The many words you speak to me while you aren't
Are undescribable with words

The feelings you bring me, sober or not
Can't even be thought in descriptive words
Without tears in my eyes

I think it's...kinda...well, it's okay in my opinion. I think maybe I should show it to him and let him know how I feel about him. I mean, it's really weird, but when he's drunk, he is really nice to me! Like the poem says, he's practically perfect when he is...! But when he's sober, he is such an asshole, it's nto even funny! And it's so weird because you would normally think that when someone is sober they would be nicer! It's just so confusing and such a long story, I wanna know if it's good enough to show him to let him know or not... So basically all I need to know is if it's good enough to show to anyone that it matters to.

[Tom Da Bomb]

If you want to show him, then show him.

It should only matter to you. Thats the whole point.

I couldnt tell you if its 'good enough'.

[Misha-chan]

Okay thanks I guess...! ;)

[Tom Da Bomb]

or. you could just TALK to him. and tell him these things.
but hey, what do I know about human relationships...

[liz123]

It seems like he should be writing a poem to keep you. What have you actually done? I honestly am not sure about this piece.. though it may seem so much more to you, (which is a good thing.)
It doesn't seem to flow well and you're probably trying too hard. Poems and lyrics are written best when you feel relaxed about the subject. It just seems very uptight if that makes sense. Try to see the whole picture of your relationship instead of just feeling the need to keep him. Play on the idea more that you seem to be in a relationship with 2 people.. that will make it more effective.. and the use of metaphors will be the key here.

[Misha-chan]

It seems like he should be writing a poem to keep you. What have you actually done? I honestly am not sure about this piece.. though it may seem so much more to you, (which is a good thing.)
It doesn't seem to flow well and you're probably trying too hard. Poems and lyrics are written best when you feel relaxed about the subject. It just seems very uptight if that makes sense. Try to see the whole picture of your relationship instead of just feeling the need to keep him. Play on the idea more that you seem to be in a relationship with 2 people.. that will make it more effective.. and the use of metaphors will be the key here.

Well, (I'm stupid so) I didn't quite get all of that, but I'll try...! lol and actually, he did write a poem about me...! and whether its too good or not, i really like it cuz it means a lot... here, this is it:

I really enjoy your company
I really like the feeling I get
When I hear your voice
When I say your stupid
And you know I'm joking
I never wanna forget the feeling
That you give me everynight
I really apprieciate
Staying up all night with you
Our conversations are so boring
But just knowing that you're there
Makes me feel a hell of alot better
I never want to let you go
I think I love you
It's an undescribable feeling
You make me feel great
I hope you never leave my side
I really enjoy your company

[liz123]

I think the problem is that he probably finds it hard to express how he is feeling as he says " conversations are boring" though he "enjoys your company". When he most probably means that the conversations are aimless not boring. That is all.

[Misha-chan]

yah...i guess so, but hes really mature, and has had a lot of experience with relationships, so i dont see how it would be hard for him...but the other day i found out a lot that had happened...and my friend was talking to him and he actually said he loved me...! cuz he sed "oh your asian??? i love you" and she sed "so u love me and not your girlfriend?" and he sed "NO I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" so.....yay!! but still...

[black rose]

You're 13, I honestly doubt you guys are in love. I'm 15 and don't think I'm old enough to be in love with anyone.

[Misha-chan]

i believe love has no age. but hey, thats just wat i believe...but now hes gay, so he broke up with me, and actually im on the phone with him...were cool now and hes not being an asshole so...yay!