Teenage Clarity?

[as_we_learn]

What's teenage clarity for sure?
Because I've seen these hazy eyes
hit the floorboards in confusion.
I guess my melodramatic grin needs advice.

Timed conversations that are set
in angel ears will end in awkward silence.
A dozen clever lines are left in footnotes
without my conscience to help with my ignorance
towards words exchanged in the form of phrases.

At the corner of your bed
you'll see my confidence wear thin.
No one knows the secrets
that pillows and sheets hold.

Timed conversations that are set
in angel ears will end in awkward silence.
A dozen clever lines are left in footnotes
without my conscience to help with my ignorance
towards words exchanged in the form of phrases.

I'm so damn confused
with those three little words
that try to be so smooth and cool.
Yeah these heart shaped agendas
are always used to establish new rules.

[CellarGhosts]

Nice.

It wasn't great or anything, but I enjoyed it.

[as_we_learn]

Thanks man. Anything wrong with it?

[CellarGhosts]

Only that it just didn't hold my attention as well as some of your other pieces...
I'm kinda tired right now, so I can't critique too well, haha.

[as_we_learn]

No prob man. I'll try add something to it. Don;t wear yourself out man. Go get some sleep haha.

[CellarGhosts]

Hahaha, actually, I'm working on a two-page report for US Histroy class haha, about the JFK assassination. We watched the movie JFK in there, and now we have to do a report on what we think of the whole thing...personally, I believe, after researching on the internet, that it was a conspiracy

...but anyway yeah, that being the case, sleep would not be a good thing right now haha. But it does sound nice, haha.

[as_we_learn]

That sucks man. Yeah the hole thing does sound like a conspiracy. My friend loves conspiracies so he might know something about the whole thing. The magic bullet man haha

[forcestealer]

my qualm is that is tells no story. if its pure poetry without music forwarding and complementing a general feeling, much is lost on adjectives. rich rendering, and wit never hurts.

[CellarGhosts]

That sucks man. Yeah the hole thing does sound like a conspiracy. My friend loves conspiracies so he might know something about the whole thing. The magic bullet man haha
Haha yeah, I'm kind of a nerd for conspiracy theories, etc. They just sort of interest me, haha. And yea, the whole magic bullet thing...odd.
I could discuss this quite thoroughly actually, but this is the wrong forum, haha.

[as_we_learn]

my qualm is that is tells no story. if its pure poetry without music forwarding and complementing a general feeling, much is lost on adjectives. rich rendering, and wit never hurts.
It's kinda telling my story of awkward moments and something a little more personal. Yeah though this does need work man so thanks for reading it means alot. I'll try something.

[as_we_learn]

Haha yeah, I'm kind of a nerd for conspiracy theories, etc. They just sort of interest me, haha. And yea, the whole magic bullet thing...odd.
I could discuss this quite thoroughly actually, but this is the wrong forum, haha.
Yeah it is, which one is the politicl forum I think.

[CellarGhosts]

Yeah...I considered starting a thread for it in that forum...but people would probably either be asses about it, or just say something about beating a dead horse, hahaha. I dunno...

I remember seeing a "help with homework" thread, but can't find it...hmmm....

[as_we_learn]

It should be in the education forum

[CellarGhosts]

Ah yeah, that's right.

Thanks man.

...see? I'm so tired I forgot all about that forum's existence, hahaha.

[as_we_learn]

Bump This To Your Grave

or

Bump This Like You Mean It

Which ever you prefer?

[missmatilde]

"Timed conversations that are set
in angel ears will end in awkward silence."
that I absolutly loved! it's all really cool...:-)
btw... Bump it like you mean it!
;-)

[Deathfire578]

It doesn't really flow dude. I think you can do better. I mean it's good, but it doesn't flow...

[Period Piece]

Nice.

I think that it does flow, but I agree that there is a little something missing to make it sparkle. This good be really good if a few bits were tweaked, like you said it 'kinda' tells a story. If it was more definite, then I think it would be better.

[as_we_learn]

Yeah I knwo the flow is off and this doesn't really tell a story I'm working on it guys. Glad you all red it though it means alot. You don't know