my first good song...i think

[bryisgod1]

Do you believe in me?
Do I believe in myself
To be able to make these choices
Nothing is going right
I need some guidance
To help me get through this fucking night

chorus:
So now I’m looking into myself
To find a person that doesn’t exist
I want to believe in myself
Even though there is nothing to believe in
(2x)

Growing weary, from all this soul searching
And from all of this I have found nothing
I think I am just going to stop trying
I got nothing to prove
Its not like any one would even care

chorus: (2x)

There is nothing left for me to do
There is nothing left for me to do

chorus (2x)

[bryisgod1]

all comments please...good or bad i want it to be good and not crappy...thanks

[wewin]

Do you believe in me?
Do I believe in myself
To be able to make these choices
Nothing is going right
I need some guidance
To help me get through this fucking night

oh boy. keep on trying to write a good song, 'cause this isn't it.
the above, bolded verse is just lame. it's like a distillation of every bad pop song i've ever heard, and the "fucking" is just stupid. if your verse is made of filler-grade language, then why would you use swear-word filler, too? this is just terrible. it's cliched, boring, not catchy, not smart, not good at all.


So now I’m looking into myself
To find a person that doesn’t exist
I want to believe in myself
Even though there is nothing to believe in
oh, great, a song about finding yourself. it's been done before, and it's been done so much better than this. the "i want to believe in something evern though there's nothing to believe in" kind of phrases are dumb, uninspired, and easy to write, and they are the worst shit ever. if your song is gonna have a chorus, make sure that it's good and catchy and something that no one would mind hearing over and over. this chorus is just insulting in its dumbed-down monkey language, and i'd hate to have to hear it once, let alone many times throughout the course of the song.

Growing weary, from all this soul searching
And from all of this I have found nothing
I think I am just going to stop trying
I got nothing to prove
Its not like any one would even care
oh, woe is you. this is shit.

There is nothing left for me to do
There is nothing left for me to do
...except kill yourself before you write another bad song.

EDIT: yeah, i was mean to you.