the Jackal and the Jester

[CellarGhosts]

the Jackal and the Jester

Glistening teeth sink into tender flesh,
Lacerating veins and piercing nerves.
Cold mornings remind me so (fondly) of you.
Gilded windows now have landfill views.

[chorus]
Cut it up, cut it up until there's nothing but ribbons of red
Littered all across that barren lane.
Shut it up, shut it up cause I'm sure you've had enough,
Of chewing on that motherfucking chain!

Falling ashes, caught gracefully on my tongue.
Melting glaciers paint my windowsil.
This empire that I've constructed in my bedroom
Is now just an endless landscape of rubble and rust.

I'm listening but not learning
This lecture has rolled off your tongue a thousand times before
We're drowning in the memories
That we left to build up in waves by the door

Cut it up, cut it up until there's nothing but ribbons of red
Littered all across that barren lane.
Shut it up, shut it up cause I'm sure you've had enough,
Of chewing on that motherfucking chain!

(whoas, and ohs until end)

[as_we_learn]

This is a good start. It has a vibe that I like. The flow is cool too. I don't have really any ideas to the subject of this piece. My mind is kinda set on this piece I'm writing and I can't think of anything else. I can't wait to see the finished product man. Good Luck.

[CellarGhosts]

Thanks, dude.

Hopefully I'll think of a good way to finish it, haha.

[as_we_learn]

Yeah I got my fingers crossed for you man haha. Good Job so far

[missmatilde]

"Falling ashes, caught gracefully on my tongue." that line, just so amazing... :-)
and the chorus I do like a lot, def is gonna become something really cool, I'll cross my fingers as well... also, cuz I'd selfishly love to read more ;-)
chris, oh, chris...
u'r in my top 5 hero list, :-P

[CellarGhosts]

Haha, thanks Matilde.

It's awesome you love my work so much, but honestly, I really don't think I'm all that haha. But still, it does mean alot.

[a speedo model]

I like it so far, I think with some work it'll be great. Seems a bit rough, but still good. Nice work.

[CellarGhosts]

Thanks, Josiah. I've got some more written for this, and I'm about to edit/complete it. Hopefully it works out haha.

By the way, think you could check out my other newer one? It's finished, and an older piece I found in the back of my notebook haha.

[lostfear]

I feel violent after reading this.

[CellarGhosts]

Haha, really? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? haha

But yeah, the music I wrote for it is pretty aggressive, but still melodic. I like it haha.

[Period Piece]

I really like it, the first verse in particular. Any chance of listening to the music you wrote for it?

[CellarGhosts]

Thanks dude

I guess there's a chance someday, hahaha. I just need to find the proper recording equipment, and work with my voice some more, so I'm actually singing instead of whisper-singing haha. Cause I'm not all that comfortable with hearing myself yet haha.

[drummer1400]

Thanks dude

I guess there's a chance someday, hahaha. I just need to find the proper recording equipment, and work with my voice some more, so I'm actually singing instead of whisper-singing haha. Cause I'm not all that comfortable with hearing myself yet haha.

Confidence is definitely important haha. Give it a shot. I bet itll turn it out well on a demo.

I like your style 'kilo. This is a good piece. The only thing that I didnt like was that "motherfucking" sounded a little forced in the chorus, but thats just my opinion. Im loving the rest though, it's definitely solid.

[CellarGhosts]

Thanks, man. Glad you like it.

And my name's Chris, just incase you cared to know haha. I actually get called Charlie alot, and I picked that username because a friend and I had this massive inside joke about that Bloodhound Gang song haha. I'm starting to think I need a username change haha

[drummer1400]

Thanks, man. Glad you like it.

And my name's Chris, just incase you cared to know haha. I actually get called Charlie alot, and I picked that username because a friend and I had this massive inside joke about that Bloodhound Gang song haha. I'm starting to think I need a username change haha

That song is awesome, haha. I love it. Is their a way to change your username without getting a new account?

[lew_1987]

i like some of it, but there are certain sections that are a bit off to me. mainly the first two lines, and the first two lines of the second verse. keep working on it though, it definitely has a lot more potential

[CellarGhosts]

That song is awesome, haha. I love it. Is their a way to change your username without getting a new account?
Haha yes it is an awesome song haha.

And yeah, there's a way to change your username without getting a new account, but you have to pay like, $3.00 to do so, and I'm just not sure actually if I wanna do that haha.

I'll just keep the name I've got haha.

i like some of it, but there are certain sections that are a bit off to me. mainly the first two lines, and the first two lines of the second verse. keep working on it though, it definitely has a lot more potential
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

[ArTkY_]

Keep working on it, but this has phenomenal potential.

btw, just so you guys know, I've been writing like a madman lately. I'll be back.

[CellarGhosts]

Hey, thanks Tariq. It means alot. I'll definatley revise this one, haha.
And yes, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say "we anxiously await your return" haha

See ya round man.
Thanks again.