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xidreamofyou32x
04/20/07, 07:46 PM
“One Day At A Time”

Things haven’t been easy
Since the day we said so long
To everyone and everything we knew
And began a life of uncertainty and breaking rules
Sometimes I feel like just letting go
But you’re here to remind me what I should already know

Whatever happens in this life we’ve chose to live
When the skies get dark and there seems to be no time left
When I’ve lost all direction you help me find my way
And make me see that tomorrow will be a brighter day
There’s hope for the future to get us through
I know no one’s perfect but I have faith in you

From the day we met
I knew we’d make the perfect match
Your sureness balanced out my worries
With few words you banished away my insecurities
I knew we were destined to be together
I knew that somehow we’d find our forever

Whatever happens in this life we’ve chose to live
When the skies get dark and there seems to be no time left
When I’ve lost all direction you help me find my way
And make me see that tomorrow will be a brighter day
There’s hope for the future to get us through
I know no one’s perfect but I have faith in you

I don’t constantly worry about what the next day will bring
With you here with me I feel like I accomplish anything
In this game called life I’ve learned to take it one day at a time
Knowing that at every moment you’ll be by my side

Whatever happens in this life we’ve chose to live
When the skies get dark and there seems to be no time left
When I’ve lost all direction you help me find my way
And make me see that tomorrow will be a brighter day
There’s hope for the future to get us through
I know no one’s perfect but I have faith in you



Be nice please, it sucks to write something and work hard on it and then have people say "OMGG THAT IS THE WORST PIECE OF SH*T I'VE EVER READ!!!" If you don't like it tell me why so I can try to improve. I know it's not really deep or original, I just want to know if it sounds like a good catchy pop song.

xidreamofyou32x
04/25/07, 08:00 PM
bump

hailthewarrior
04/25/07, 09:02 PM
It seems very choppy, and doesn't flow really well. It's got potential, but some smoothing/rewording could make it tons better.

a speedo model
04/26/07, 09:25 AM
Yeah, the flow feels off. But I think with some work this could be very good. Continue to work on it.

drummer1400
04/26/07, 09:30 AM
Yeah, the flow feels off. But I think with some work this could be very good. Continue to work on it.


I agree, this piece has a little bit of lyrical arrythmia, but keep working on it :). Hey Speedo Model, you should go check out my newer piece. I could use some good criticism. Thanks!

CellarGhosts
04/26/07, 11:15 AM
I'm just going to second what everyone has already said.

This is a little choppy, but with work it could be something really good.

xidreamofyou32x
04/28/07, 07:45 PM
It seems very choppy, and doesn't flow really well. It's got potential, but some smoothing/rewording could make it tons better.any suggestions on how to do that?