Coronet

[as_we_learn]

I've got a coronet for collapses
with a band to show for this callow.
The time it takes to realize
that life can be an oasis
is too long for anyone to bear (or care for).

Paint me a picture of conflict and tender words.
One that I can hold for a minute or two.
While this flu that has rendered me useless
will take it's crash course straight towards her

I've been giving out titles like princess
to girls that I consider friends.
While the one I want to call queen
is far from my arrows to really know.

Paint me a picture of conflict and tender words.
One that I can hold for a minute or two.
While this flu that has rendered me useless
will take it's crash course straight towards her

Raise this glass up to heavy street lights.
With my eye straight towards her sight.
We'll catch each other in hallways
while walking closer ready for creeks.
This conversation will start and end
in my awkward mumble that won't be tended to.

[hailthewarrior]

I love some of these lines, others are pretty good. But "in the parent's brand new matress" seems to not fit to me.

Good overall.

[missmatilde]

"Paint me a picture of conflict and tender words"
thil line is so sweet, plus I feel special cause I used something like 'paint the imaga' in something I posted like a day ago and... I may something nearly as cool as you, that's pretty cool! ;-)
and I loved your song.. :-)
btw now you should go read paint the image, and even elevator conversations if you have the time... and i have to go to school ;-)

[as_we_learn]

Cool. That one line I put in right at the end so I might have to tweek some of the last part of the chorus to give a better flow. Thanks for reading man.

Yeah glad you feel special haha. Yeah I'll check it out because my school just closed. Yes water main breaks haha.

[missmatilde]

I do love it as well when school is in trouble enough that we get a day off! :-)

[CellarGhosts]

I really liked this. Good job overall, but my favorite part would probably be the third stanza. For some reason it just really stood out for me.

[as_we_learn]

Thanks man. Glad you liked that part. I thought it might be a little awkward, so thanks man. I haven't really seen your work around or am I blind.

[hailthewarrior]

Cool. That one line I put in right at the end so I might have to tweek some of the last part of the chorus to give a better flow. Thanks for reading man.

No problem. When I get back from Chemistry, I'll probably check a couple more of yours out, 'cause I liked a good portions of these lines and how they hit you. Any recommendations of yours?

And, if you wouldn't mind/have the time, check out mine I posted last night? That'd be awesome.

[as_we_learn]

No problem. When I get back from Chemistry, I'll probably check a couple more of yours out, 'cause I liked a good portions of these lines and how they hit you. Any recommendations of yours?

And, if you wouldn't mind/have the time, check out mine I posted last night? That'd be awesome.
Yeah man I'll check out your piece no prob. As for recommendations I'd go with Parkway Hearts. I got the most positive response from that one. But if you want great check out Chris'(Charliekilo) work. His work kicks ass man. Thanks man it means alot you like my work

[XxIronistxX]

i like this one. no complaints.

[CellarGhosts]

Yeah man I'll check out your piece no prob. As for recommendations I'd go with Parkway Hearts. I got the most positive response from that one. But if you want great check out Chris'(Charliekilo) work. His work kicks ass man. Thanks man it means alot you like my work
Haha, thanks alot JR. It means alot to see people refer to me and my work as "kick ass" haha
thanks again

Thanks man. Glad you liked that part. I thought it might be a little awkward, so thanks man. I haven't really seen your work around or am I blind.
Sure thing

And as far as my work goes, there's two new ones on here actually. Well, the one you commented on that wasn't finished, which I just finidhed up a couple days ago, and then a "new old" one that's just titled as "so while the other one sits in limbo..." on the page.

[as_we_learn]

Yeah no prob your work is great. I'll go check them out right now

[CellarGhosts]

Thanks man.
Hope you like them haha