smokedsanity
04/23/07, 05:41 AM
So, this is the personal life forum and I realize that I will be greeted with responses of "get real problems, then complain," etc. I just want to get something out and have nowhere to turn anymore. This past Saturday, during some of the city of Louisville's festivities, I exploded much like a volcano. Many of use spent the afternoon and evening drinking some alcholic beverages and I, admittedly, let those affect my judgement. A certain friend of mine, whom I have been close with for nearly three years, has always had a habit of pushing his male friends to side when females are around. I don't just mean that he focuses the attention on them and ignores us. He will go out of his way to make himself look superior. He'll say shitty things to make fun of us, he'll get angry and snappy when we don't leave he and some girl alone, he'll basically treat us as if we don't belong around him. As I said, this has been going on for three years. I never really addressed the issue. I'm the guy who lets things build and build over time until it all pours out in an inappropriate fashion.
So on Saturday, after he made a point of treating me as inferior in front of his high soccer buddies, a mutual friend for whom he has romantic interest, and some random 19 year old, I blew up. I went off, called him a "bitch," blah blah blah. Now, in a way, I'm glad that I finally aired my grievances. I am, in no way, happy about the way in which I went about that airing, but I am relieved to have it off of my chest. But now I am faced with two problems. One, I blew up like some asshole on the Real World. Now, everyone thinks I'm crazy. Two, they think that it was for a reason other than the actual reason.
The mutual friend is a girl whom I have been friends with since high school and that I dated for a short while three years ago. Relatively recently, she was involved with a guy who was a dick and she was unhappy. We were all drinking one night and lonely, so I told her that I had feelings for her, yadda yadda yadda. A few weeks later, I was talking to the friend whom was the target of my explosion, and he said something about it. I said "Yeah, I was drunk, but I do like her, she deserves better." (mostly stressing the "she deserves better.") Again, I was drinking when I said this. Now, keep in mind that I have done abolutely nothing to support any claim about having feelings for her, other than saying things on two drinking occasions. Now, everyone thinks that I am some jealous psycho on top of just being an asshole. I never took back what I said during those two drinking conversations, because I simply felt it unnecessary. I was drinking, we all say stupid shit when we drink. I didn't give it any thought. But as things have unfolded, it seems that I should have said something.
So, now the friend has decided he wants little to do with me (I can't blame him, I exploded for reasons that I let build until there was an explosion. Though, I have once confronted him about his alpha male complex, to which he laughed and told me, "That is just the way I am"). He also put up something about it in an AIM away message and has told numerous people of the situation, so I really have very few people to turn to now. I regret my actions, but I don't know what to do now. I know that drinking played a part and I obviously need to take that into consideration. I drank some, opened my big mouth, then later went off. So, I already know that part. But I ask you to go ahead and consider that I drink often enough to know that I am not a "bad" drunk. I don't drink all the time, but every one of two weekends, we'll have some drinks and hang out. I don't fight or get emotional or anything. One night, I said something to a girl when I shouldn't have. Later, someone asked me about it, so I addressed it. Then, I blew up after I let other things build. While I believe alcohol played a part, I don't believe that it was the reason.
I realize that barely anyone will actually take the time to read this, but if you read it...thank you. And I'll take any advice, except "anal."
So on Saturday, after he made a point of treating me as inferior in front of his high soccer buddies, a mutual friend for whom he has romantic interest, and some random 19 year old, I blew up. I went off, called him a "bitch," blah blah blah. Now, in a way, I'm glad that I finally aired my grievances. I am, in no way, happy about the way in which I went about that airing, but I am relieved to have it off of my chest. But now I am faced with two problems. One, I blew up like some asshole on the Real World. Now, everyone thinks I'm crazy. Two, they think that it was for a reason other than the actual reason.
The mutual friend is a girl whom I have been friends with since high school and that I dated for a short while three years ago. Relatively recently, she was involved with a guy who was a dick and she was unhappy. We were all drinking one night and lonely, so I told her that I had feelings for her, yadda yadda yadda. A few weeks later, I was talking to the friend whom was the target of my explosion, and he said something about it. I said "Yeah, I was drunk, but I do like her, she deserves better." (mostly stressing the "she deserves better.") Again, I was drinking when I said this. Now, keep in mind that I have done abolutely nothing to support any claim about having feelings for her, other than saying things on two drinking occasions. Now, everyone thinks that I am some jealous psycho on top of just being an asshole. I never took back what I said during those two drinking conversations, because I simply felt it unnecessary. I was drinking, we all say stupid shit when we drink. I didn't give it any thought. But as things have unfolded, it seems that I should have said something.
So, now the friend has decided he wants little to do with me (I can't blame him, I exploded for reasons that I let build until there was an explosion. Though, I have once confronted him about his alpha male complex, to which he laughed and told me, "That is just the way I am"). He also put up something about it in an AIM away message and has told numerous people of the situation, so I really have very few people to turn to now. I regret my actions, but I don't know what to do now. I know that drinking played a part and I obviously need to take that into consideration. I drank some, opened my big mouth, then later went off. So, I already know that part. But I ask you to go ahead and consider that I drink often enough to know that I am not a "bad" drunk. I don't drink all the time, but every one of two weekends, we'll have some drinks and hang out. I don't fight or get emotional or anything. One night, I said something to a girl when I shouldn't have. Later, someone asked me about it, so I addressed it. Then, I blew up after I let other things build. While I believe alcohol played a part, I don't believe that it was the reason.
I realize that barely anyone will actually take the time to read this, but if you read it...thank you. And I'll take any advice, except "anal."