Watered Down Cataclysm

[as_we_learn]

Calculate your steady contradictions like time.
So we'll wait for them to slow down and unwind.
Reprimand the plan that took us to the field
that's so barren and abandoned by second hand smoke.

The east is bringing winds from a brand new state
because my state of mind is trying to run in creeks
with the water and the vague centipedes.
The fact is that my point in conversations is mute
along with the seperations caused in a manner done so "cute".

I'm growing new found daisies and weeds
so I can see how they learn to plea with one another.
Might as well mow down all these streets
to cause the cracks that catch all my creeps.(across this town)

The east is bringing winds from a brand new state
because my state of mind is trying to run in creeks
with the water and the vague centipedes.
The fact is that my point in conversations is mute
along with the seperations caused in a manner done so "cute".

The joker or the jester I've got two options
While I'm sitting here bewildered and hoping
for a more democratic composition.
In this corrupt cataclysm that deserves to be strained,
but for the time being I'll learn to hold mockery.

[lew_1987]

this was good. i especially liked the first verse. quite a good flow and good use of vocabulary, :ok:

ps. didn't chris just post a piece called "jackal and the jester"? (1st line of the last section) ;-)

[missmatilde]

wait or them= wait for them?
I really liked all of this, I can't even say which part the most, it was all so good ;-):-)

[as_we_learn]

Thanks Lew. Yeah I forgot Chris had a piece like that. Thanks man glad you liked it/.

Thanks Matilde. I didn't really catch that part when I was typing last night. Glad you like all the parts.

[CellarGhosts]

This was very cool, JR. As Lew said, there was a very good flow to this, and a good use of vocabulary.

Pretty fuckin' nice man, pretty fuckin' nice hahaha ;)

[as_we_learn]

haha thanks man. Glad you thought it was pretty fuckin' nice. Yeah this is a different approach to my writing so I'm glad it worked. Thanks Chris

[thecurerocks182]

good job! I liked this. Although, there are parts I would do differently, it shows much improvement on your part. However, contridictions = contradictions. Also, I don't understand the imagery of a "vague centipede". It seems like you added vague for continuity purposes, but it doesn't add anything to the line. Anyways, keep it up.

[a speedo model]

This was very good. Best thing you've posted.

[as_we_learn]

good job! I liked this. Although, there are parts I would do differently, it shows much improvement on your part. However, contridictions = contradictions. Also, I don't understand the imagery of a "vague centipede". It seems like you added vague for continuity purposes, but it doesn't add anything to the line. Anyways, keep it up.


Yeah I know I've been listening to Bright Eyes lately and that came out. I'll fix that spelling error and the vague centipede I guess you caught me there haha. Thanks man I appreciate you reading alot

[as_we_learn]

This was very good. Best thing you've posted.
Thanks man glad you thought so. I've been trying to write about something other than girls and how they have broken my heart so to speak haha. I guess it worked out