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Mannella
04/25/07, 04:25 AM
This is the second time I've touched the sidewalk
In the same twenty-four hours.
Not out for a stroll, and not looking for recyclable glass.
Earlier this afternoon, the sun was between the sky.
Now, all I can see is the shimmer of liquid, falling from above.
Raining down, swirling around in a tossing wind.
My previous jaunt was casual and carefree,
All I wanted was to be alone.
But this time, there is a mission behind my strides.
Running, running, down the sidewalk.
Crossing over the boulevard
Padding along the soft spring ground.
Past chain link fence, under the luminescent streetlight glow.
Every sprint is a mental reminder.
Can't let the music get to my senses,
'cause this emotion is a fleeting glimpse.
Just nike on pavement, throbbing calves jolting.
Sweat and rainwater combining, make me feel refreshed.
My face is moisturized by the natural sensation.
I'm sprinting to a midnight rain.

lew_1987
04/25/07, 06:11 AM
my favourite bit was "Every sprint is a mental reminder. Can't let the music get to my senses, 'cause this emotion is a fleeting glimpse." its pretty good, but it seems like the first half is not as good as the second, and it seemed a little cliched to me. good stuff though

CellarGhosts
04/25/07, 06:36 AM
I really enjoyed the whole "vibe" this has. Great work with the imagery overall, and just a very solid, good read. Good job.

Mannella
04/25/07, 12:26 PM
Thanks guys. I started running recently, and I ran in a torrential downpour the other night, there was so much rain! I got back from my jaunt and wrote the piece in a few minutes, so it has no edits, its just what I wrote down after the experience.

CellarGhosts
04/25/07, 01:32 PM
Cool.

I think it's great that this was inspired by an actual event, and yet, a fairly simple one. If I were to try and write about running...yeah....I don't think it'd turn out too well haha.

So again, good job.

as_we_learn
04/25/07, 01:53 PM
Man this was really good, but as Lew said the second part was better than the first. This piece is very good man I liked it alot

lew_1987
04/25/07, 02:38 PM
Man this was really good, but as Lew said the first part was better than the second. This piece is very good man I liked it alot

i said the second part was better... lol

as_we_learn
04/25/07, 02:41 PM
i said the second part was better... lol
oh man I said it wrong haha. I feel stupid

missmatilde
04/25/07, 03:08 PM
I really loved the end part, plus that line is really strong as the last.. amazing you could get this nice thing written about running :-)