My first Lyrics Post

[ISuckYoungBlood]

Ok guys, now its your chance, rip the hell out of me. I am posting my lyrics, and I want the honest truth. I don't want you to say it's good so you can show me that two wrongs don't make a right, but I don't want you to tell me it sucks just because I may have ripped yours. I want the honest truth just like I gave all of you.<NOTE: This symbol (-) means other singer. When It says at same time that means the two singers are singing those lines at the same time. Rip me apart.>

Your new (-They Want-)
Were in
And you drag them inside

But your not
-Going to be the only one-
But your not
-Going to last forever- <Chorus
As soon as you have become
-Is as soon as you'll be done-

It's you (-You know they want-)
Right now
And they sing your name right

{Chorus}

And it's your breath they match
Your note they hit
Your words they speak
You style them for tommorrow

(8x <At same time> It'll be over just wait, just wait and then you'll never see again
(-Paper stolen, voice exchanged, everything is the same-)

Paper stolen, voice exchanged, everything is over... Nothing.. Nothing but you and me.


Oh and tell me what you think it is about too, I would like to see your interpetations. My meaning may be obvious it may not.

[proeuthanasia]

it seems to me like you're addressing a musical artist, or artists in general (more specifically singer/s and songwriter/s). telling them about how ordinary kids are stealing their words and music (much like the majority of this board does...). "they" are the kids, normal and common as you and i, who are ripping off ideas and "you" is/are the singer/s and songwriter/s. understand what i'm saying?


Your new YOUR NEW WORK (-They Want-) KIDS 'WANT' YOUR WORDS AND ARE GOING TO PLAGIARIZE THEM
Were in
And you drag them inside YOU 'PULL KIDS IN' WITH YOUR MUSIC

But your not
-Going to be the only one- SOMEONE'S GOING TO COPY YOU, SO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THE ONLY ONE SAYING AND DOING CERTAIN THINGS
But your not
-Going to last forever- <Chorus
As soon as you have become
-Is as soon as you'll be done- AS SOON AS YOU 'MAKE IT' OR BECOME INSPIRING TO KIDS, YOU'LL 'BE DONE' BECAUSE THEY WILL STEAL THE WORDS FROM YOU AND MAKE THEM THEIR OWN, TAKING THE SPOTLIGHT
It's you (-You know they want-)
Right now
And they sing your name right

{Chorus}

And it's your breath they match
Your note they hit
Your words they speak THIS IS WHAT MADE ME THINK OF THE WHOLE IDEA. ITS OBVIOUS THAT 'THEY' ARE STEALING FROM 'YOU' (THE ARTIST) BECAUSE THEY TRY TO BE JUST LIKE YOU. SAME TEMPO, SAME TONE, SAME NOTES, SAME WORDS.
You style them for tommorrow

(8x <At same time> It'll be over just wait, just wait and then you'll never see again
(-Paper stolen, voice exchanged, everything is the same-) LYRICS ARE STOLEN AND THE VOICE IS SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS SINGING YOUR WORDS, BUT BASICALLY IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME BECAUSE THEY COPIED YOU

Paper stolen, voice exchanged, everything is over... Nothing.. Nothing but you and me.


it's possible i'm completely off here, but that's my interpretation. nicely done. i'm not sure i would change anything. it's not a complex set of lyrics, but the fact that you switch back and forth between singers (like, for example, taking back sunday) adds intrigue to the song. i'm not sure i've read lyrics of yours before, i enjoy them. keep posting.

[proeuthanasia]

if you would, take a look at some lyrics i just posted. 'A Tribute to Justus'. and no, i don't mean 'justice'. it is spelled that way for a particular reason. check it out and comment.

[ISuckYoungBlood]

Yea you pretty nailed the meaning on the basics.You obviously have an open mind. I am happy you like my stuff, hopefully its the first of many. Yea my band has two maybe 3 vocalist in it so I do have the versatility of switching off and adding cool little things in the songs.


I would like more people to respond and please be honest. Thanks.

[Rufio217]

Post the song online and set up a link, i want to hear this piece of work

[ISuckYoungBlood]

We didn't record the song yet, one of the members is on vacation and will be back in like a week, I also competed this song recently so all the other members don't know any parts to it, but if we finish I'll record it in my studio and then post it.

[Rufio217]

The idea of the i would say is a rip from "Stolen From Some Great Writer" by spitalfield, but i really can't say that because i believe you yourself came up with teh idea for this song, b/c you alwasy tell people how unoriginal they are

[ISuckYoungBlood]

Well just because I am very picky and look for originality doesn't mean my songs wouldn't be original, and no sorry I have heard of the band but I never actually listened to thier music.

[wewin]

i won't discuss the meaning, 'cause proeuth said it.

Your new (-They Want-)
Were in
And you drag them inside
um. threadbare lyrics? there isn't much here, and what is there is fairly tame language. i mean, the only verb, "drag", could've been a much cooler verb. the fewer words you have, the better they have to be, you know?

But your not
-Going to be the only one-
But your not
-Going to last forever- <Chorus
As soon as you have become
-Is as soon as you'll be done-
due to the incomplete sentence structure, i can't tell if the first line should be "you are not" or "your not". if it's the first, make it "you're". the last two lines seem dumb to me because it's as though you sacrificed expressing a complete thought just to make something rhyme.


It's you (-You know they want-)
Right now
And they sing your name right
once again, few words means that you must use powerful words, and these are just pronouns and filler.

{Chorus}

And it's your breath they match
Your note they hit
Your words they speak
You style them for tommorrow
same as above. i mean, the meaning comes out loud and clear, but the song is just a malnourished linguistic skeleton. there's no poetry in it.

Paper stolen, voice exchanged, everything is over... Nothing.. Nothing but you and me.

what's this "you and me" line at the end? if this is about stealing other people's ideas, then what's this "you and me" nonsense? explain?

all in all, i don't like the song. i think the idea is expressed clearly, but the song suffers because the lyrics are bare, mostly pronounds, boring verbs, and filler (right now, they want, etc.). i'd retool it; i like dense lyrics, and maybe you want to go for this sparse thing, but i'd make the words hit harder. the fewer words, the better they've gotta be, you know?

[ISuckYoungBlood]

Originally posted by wewin
i won't discuss the meaning, 'cause proeuth said it.

Your new (-They Want-)
Were in
And you drag them inside
um. threadbare lyrics? there isn't much here, and what is there is fairly tame language. i mean, the only verb, "drag", could've been a much cooler verb. the fewer words you have, the better they have to be, you know?

But your not
-Going to be the only one-
But your not
-Going to last forever- <Chorus
As soon as you have become
-Is as soon as you'll be done-
due to the incomplete sentence structure, i can't tell if the first line should be "you are not" or "your not". if it's the first, make it "you're". the last two lines seem dumb to me because it's as though you sacrificed expressing a complete thought just to make something rhyme.


It's you (-You know they want-)
Right now
And they sing your name right
once again, few words means that you must use powerful words, and these are just pronouns and filler.

{Chorus}

And it's your breath they match
Your note they hit
Your words they speak
You style them for tommorrow
same as above. i mean, the meaning comes out loud and clear, but the song is just a malnourished linguistic skeleton. there's no poetry in it.

Paper stolen, voice exchanged, everything is over... Nothing.. Nothing but you and me.

what's this "you and me" line at the end? if this is about stealing other people's ideas, then what's this "you and me" nonsense? explain?

all in all, i don't like the song. i think the idea is expressed clearly, but the song suffers because the lyrics are bare, mostly pronounds, boring verbs, and filler (right now, they want, etc.). i'd retool it; i like dense lyrics, and maybe you want to go for this sparse thing, but i'd make the words hit harder. the fewer words, the better they've gotta be, you know?


I have noticed that my lyrics are bare and I'm glad you pointed that out. But if you heard the way they would flow in the song it would probably make more sense to you. In the song they are conducted into a slow manner. The words almost flow majesticly steady through the hole song, I don't know if that helped. Also I am not a believer in huge words, because then I feel it's not what I am thinking, I feel like I am a different person when I use big words. I feel like I am trying to be smart and my tune just doesn't go the ways I like it to go.

Those lines were you're I am very sorry I didn't realize that grammar error. Yea about the rhyming, at first it wasn't a rhyme, because I personally don't like to rhyme, but the way the music goes it sounds mcuh better when it was rhymed, also I don't have as much as a problem with rhymed chorus's then rhymed verses.

I don't believe in much poetic verses, I don't find it as good and I find non-poetic lines are much more me and original.

Oh the hole song isn't about stealing ideas, maybe his interpetation wasn't perfect liek I said although it was very good. The true meaning is about making music that original and then people like it and flock to it, making a new trend, then when all is said done everyone leaves the seen because a knew scene is formed leaving with the artist with just his music (thats where the you and me line came in). The song is also about people stealing ideas and copying things into their own form and calling it thiers when truthfully its just a changed version of thier someone elses work.

Maybe you would enjoy this song much better if you heard the music.