Teens have nothing to say, but we like to speak up

[as_we_learn]

Collect the debts you deserve from the devil himself
and ask him while you're there "how's your sleep at night?"
Mine might be as bad as the sermons I've missed.
The cathedral that has been emptied by my wit
will turn in a new direction towards my new found sins.

Please pass old Jack my way.
I could care less for my age and it's endeavors.
Keeping calling out to blank thoughts that
have found new mornings dancing in such fair weather.

Now I've sat here for thirteen years thoughtless, but now inquizitive.
I'd like to interrogate this man to the nub of his fist.
Though what I have heard is telling me to stay cautious,
but how will I ever be able to establish close ties.
If I don't take the gamble how will I know there's something out there.

Please pass old Jack my way.
I could care less for my age and it's endeavors.
Keeping calling out to blank thoughts that
have found new mornings dancing in such fair weather.

The complications I have caused will go down wells
like the pennies that I've obtained and lossed like brain cells.
The harder my head hits the clangorous stereo
the longer that it takes me to reach the flow(of the sewers).
And when I die I want to be cremated in my mother's stove.
And with my ashes please throw them into the faces of people unknown.
So when you come to my funeral remember that
my resting place will reside in the crowd of incredulous lungs.

[missmatilde]

I really like it, I'm late for school, so I'll say more when I can:-)

[CellarGhosts]

I thought this was really cool, good job overall.
As ususal, the flow was pretty spot-on, and it all had a nice "ring" to it, if you know what I mean.
My favorite part would probably be the chorus.

[a speedo model]

This is good, but it seemed to get weaker as it went and lose steam. By the end, it was just alright. So strengthen up the last parts, because that would make this piece killer.

[as_we_learn]

I really like it, I'm late for school, so I'll say more when I can:-)
Cool thanks Matilde for reading.
I thought this was really cool, good job overall.
As ususal, the flow was pretty spot-on, and it all had a nice "ring" to it, if you know what I mean.
My favorite part would probably be the chorus.
Yeah thanks Chris I've been writing more lately, so I'm glad it's working out.
This is good, but it seemed to get weaker as it went and lose steam. By the end, it was just alright. So strengthen up the last parts, because that would make this piece killer.
Thanks Josiah. Glad you liked the piece. Maybe it I'll tweak it to make everything good. I'll try to make it killer. Thanks again

[missmatilde]

" The cathedral that has been emptied by my wit
will turn in a new direction towards my new found sins."
I agree with what Chris and Josiah said, plus I totally see this becoming a killer :-)

[as_we_learn]

Thank you Matilde

[manican sex]

agreed with the names of the people above me. i liked the last part but loved the first part. the middle is shaky for me but this is a good piece none the less bro.

-bub

[xsxarexsoxscene]

haha i feel bad. but this isn't my favorite piece by you. the first stanza seems like someone out of a Panic! at the Disco song, and i just am not into the rest of it. sorry :(

heres some help though -

Mine might be as bad as the cermons I've missed.


cermons should be Sermons

also, like the pennies that I've obtained and loss like brain cells.

should be lossED.

[as_we_learn]

agreed with the names of the people above me. i liked the last part but loved the first part. the middle is shaky for me but this is a good piece none the less bro.

-bub
Thanks for reading Bub. Yeah some of this is shaky, but I'm trying to write about something other than being heart broken by a girl.
haha i feel bad. but this isn't my favorite piece by you. the first stanza seems like someone out of a Panic! at the Disco song, and i just am not into the rest of it. sorry :(

heres some help though -

Mine might be as bad as the cermons I've missed.


cermons should be Sermons

also, like the pennies that I've obtained and loss like brain cells.

should be lossED.
Don't be sorry if you didn't like it. I've been trying to write about different subjects other than a girl breaking my heart so. Thanks alot for reading.

[xsxarexsoxscene]

Don't be sorry if you didn't like it. I've been trying to write about different subjects other than a girl breaking my heart so. Thanks alot for reading.

props to you. girls are stupid. but boys are too haha.

[as_we_learn]

props to you. girls are stupid. but boys are too haha.
haha we're all stupid in nature. Some of us just know how to hide it.

[CellarGhosts]

I, sadly, am one of those people who do not know how to hide it hahaha
...around girls anyway.

[XxIronistxX]

I agree with pretty much everything above me. It was good, but it could be better. I would write more but i'm on my way to Bismarck for a speech meet. I'll check out some more of your stuff when i get back.

[as_we_learn]

I, sadly, am one of those people who do not know how to hide it hahaha
...around girls anyway.
haha I know what you mean. Far too well far too well
I agree with pretty much everything above me. It was good, but it could be better. I would write more but i'm on my way to Bismarck for a speech meet. I'll check out some more of your stuff when i get back.
Thanks Amber and have fun in Bismarck

[CellarGhosts]

haha I know what you mean. Far too well far too well

Thanks Amber and have fun in Bismarck
haha, thanks man. Good to see Im not alone haha