Let it Happen

[lfdfforever]

I’m calm at the break of this silver night
Waiting for an urge full of doubts and a stale taste
I disbelieve my own disbelief with nothing
But a third thought to call my first bright idea

Choosing without a choice at hand
Only shares your major faults to a minor audience
They want to see a memory of pain
Because their sensors have become numb
To all the deep ended feelings in this simple,
Oh so simple place

Take the steps to the backward sidewalk
Stand and plant your feet on the concrete
It isn’t real, it isn’t really there
You’re cooking up a picture in the center of your brain
For so many years my judgment of you
Has drove me oddly insane
But I think I’m starting not to think about it anymore

As free as we think are
We really are so far from absolute freedom
You can talk, but who’s going to listen?
You can dance, but who’s going to watch?
We know where to move
We just don’t know how to make it happen

[lew_1987]

this was pretty good, but the flow was a bit off on some bits making it a bit awkward. i also think you could have opened it better, but apart from that its good.

[Period Piece]

I like this, particularly some of the imagery, good job! I do think though that you need to work on the flow, maybe you could add some more rhymes or assonance to help with that. Keep it up!

[lfdfforever]

this was pretty good, but the flow was a bit off on some bits making it a bit awkward. i also think you could have opened it better, but apart from that its good.ok, thanks for the input.

[lfdfforever]

I like this, particularly some of the imagery, good job! I do think though that you need to work on the flow, maybe you could add some more rhymes or assonance to help with that. Keep it up! thanks pal.