PDA

View Full Version : Tear me apart


xxMichaelxx
08/17/03, 03:25 PM
I wrote this song one night after watching Pay It Foward, no clue why, but the homeless people really moved me, i guess in my sheltered life i never noticed how bad it has gotten, so i wrote this. Feel free to tear my limb from limb if you dont like it, i want to hear what you think



Ragdolls

Hallowed out like a broken dream
We wander throughout this forbidden world.
Cuts from razors, life from death
we fight each day to survive.

Oblivious to the pain, you walk on by
I can see the apathy glancing from your eyes
No disguise, alabis, or little white lies.
The only way out of this hell is to die.

These people you ignore, the ones that you deplore
We have seen more pain than you ever will.
You haven't felt real fear before.
Until your only friend is an empty bottle, and your
only pleasure comes from a pill.

We are everywhere you are afraid to look.
You have only knowledge gained from books.
When the time came to help fellow man,
All we needed was a second chance.
All we needed was a hand.

designbyfailure
08/17/03, 04:16 PM
Yeah, I think that film is really sad. I think your song is really great actually :)

BuriedAlive
08/17/03, 05:27 PM
dude that song really touched me, it got across what you wanted. you added most of what happens. i think its kinda different from most of the other songs. its good but i have a few things that could help you. im pretty sure you spelled alibis wrong (that is the word you were going for right?). also you stated alot of opinions but it meshed together. there isnt much i can say thats bad about the song. i dont wanna tear you down because this song is good. just dont stop writing you have poteintial.

BuriedAlive
08/17/03, 05:28 PM
also one question is this your first writing or no?

xxMichaelxx
08/17/03, 08:11 PM
thanks guys, that means alot, and no this isnot my first writing, i just joined this thing, i have like 20 songs i have written. let me know if you guys think i should put more on! and thanks again, i was depressed for a while, but this kinda uplifted me.

xxMichaelxx
08/18/03, 07:30 PM
bump... come on guys, comment good or bad i dont care

takingthursday
08/19/03, 09:51 AM
Great title, good structure, nice lyrics! GOOD JOB!

xxMichaelxx
08/19/03, 09:01 PM
thanks bro

FiNcH'sLuLLaBy
08/20/03, 04:14 PM
i like...good job man

xxMichaelxx
08/21/03, 07:54 PM
much thanks.... dewin, dont you want to bitch about how my style of writing doesnt meet your standards or something?