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[xXxnniinnaaxXx]

does anyone think this is any good......

This place was never the same again. After you came and went how can you say you meant anything different to anyone standing alone on the street with a cigarette on the first night we met … look to the past and remember a smile and maybe tonight I can breathe for a while. I’m not like in the seat I think I’m falling asleep, but then all that it means is ill always be dreaming of you …

???

[CellarGhosts]

well....

It's a decent start I guess. a little cliche, but I see a bit of potential in it.
The last sentnece was really awkward though, the "I'm no like in the seat..etc" bit.

But keep at it. nothing really speical about it, but there's some effort in here.

[kellyxk]

That's really good. I really think you should continue it, but add more symbolism and hidden meanings the further you go into it. Oh and at the end it would probably be really cool if you made some reference to the beginning again, something roughly like "So here I am now, sleeping alone" but a lot better than that. I would really look forward to the completed version of that... ;-)

[Decemberist]

thats blink182?
what shitty lyrics to cpoy

[CellarGhosts]

wait, these lyrics are copied from a blink-182 song?

I dont listen to much blink, so I wouldntve known...but if they are, then I award you no points at all,
and kindly request that you either submit something completely original, or leave.

[lew_1987]

i'm definitely "feeling this" one ;-)

[CellarGhosts]

oook, so I Googled these lyrics

...yeah. total "Feeling This" ripoff. I hadnt heard that song in so long, I forgot what the words were entirely.

so yeah...no points awarded for this one.