Trading Hope

[takingthursday]

I know I said I'd only post one, but I was just inspired for this one as well. Like I said I have a lot going on in my life and now my brain is working double time so words/lines are just popping into my head. Lemme know what you think and I should change/fix/add/etc. Thanks. Plz be polite!

Trading Hope

She crawled into the room
Where she would find the truth to what was unknown
But with no lights on, shades closed
She got lost trying to find her way home

Came to me to show what was found
When your lips won't meet
And your chin hits the bottom of your knees
While your mind spins with your body
As it falls to the floor

Chorus: Give me what made you afraid
I'll eat all that pain away
I beg you to put it aside from her heart
Plant it closer to my inward parts
Just don't let her feel, hand me everything that inside her crawls

I'd much rather be the experiement
Trade my hope with her suffering
My blood can be blue and my body cold (I don't care)
Let her just take all my chances to breathe

When she turns away
My head falls on the table between my arms
She looks back to see me strong
So I lift my head and turn my face
I can't let her know how much pain

Repeat Chorus

Suggestions/Comments?!?

[takingthursday]

Bump (Suggestions/Comments?)

[takingthursday]

Bump

[lifelesslove]

i actually took time out of my busy schedule (haha) to look this song over, and i think this is a really good piece of writing. I don't think there are many genres you could put it into, but it could definitely be a taking back sunday type writing. If you switch the title, i would enjoy it alot more. I'm sorry if you don't get alot of comments,but when i used to post songs, i didn't get very many either. I'm going to start posting my songs soon, but i have to fix them all up first, maybe people who don't get many comments could see what they think of it. i don't enjoy the part where your chin hits your knees, and sometimes the structure is a little to set up, but other than that, it's really well written. good job....buriedalive, why must you leave?

[takingthursday]

Bump

[takingthursday]

Bump

[wewin]

stop bumping these things...it's annoying

[BuriedAlive]

lifelesslove, its good to know some people care about me leaving. well im leaving cuz of people like alexisonfire and isuckyoungblood who just complain about peoples writings and not trying to help. people like you (lifelesslove) and wewin and a few others are the ones who have kept me here this long, but i mean they just give bullshit not help and it seems like the your lyrics section needs me so i might stay....

[xAlexisonfirex]

buriedalive stop being such a little whiny bitch.

i didnt like the shit you wrote and neither did isuckyoungblood and you would get so upset cause we didnt.

that doesnt make us assholes that makes you a ***.

the lyrics section doesnt need kids who cant stand people not liking them or their work. it definately doesnt need you.

[BuriedAlive]

alexisonfire, no one likes the shit you wrote but we didnt have to be dicks to you. all you said is your stuff sucks or something like that, that doesnt help me write better. i mean if you have made an effort to helping me then maybe, but you didnt so thats why you are an asshole. you dont have to post on my songs, i would rather not have your opinion cuz yours really has no value to me. i could care less what you think about them.

[xAlexisonfirex]

yes, you secretly PMed every poster on Your Lyrics and asked them behind the scenes if they like what i write.

i believe it. but i dont care.

i post "it sucks. blah blah blah" in your posts because you are a little bitch. before i ever said anythign mean about your songs i tried helping out, but you wouldnt have any of it and would turn it into an argument anytime anybody would post about it not being any good.

you'd either get pissed at us for not liking it or try to convince us that all the chicks at your school think you are "so hot".

deuche/douche (however you spell it)- bag.

[BuriedAlive]

look, i must be coming off as a person you wanna hate and im sorry, i hate arguing with people over stupid shit like this. i might have disagreed with you when "tried" to help me out but it doesnt mean i didnt take it in. when i write something i am really high on it and i think its the greatest thing ever written and im sure most people are like that. they dont wanna hear "ya your song sucks" because that will tear them down. when i comment on someones writings i try to make it as positive as possible. obviously you guys arent like me. im easy to hate and i know this, but i think its pretty easy to just have some respect for me, as a writer, or whatever, but there is really no reason to just say "your song sucks". i know i have done it to you in revenge, but i think we should end this childish shit and pretty much just wipe the slate clean, and start fresh with each others new posts.

[xAlexisonfirex]

cool with me.

hi chris im alex.