whats a promise mean to you?

[xAlexisonfirex]

speaking of cliche songs. right after i wrote the other one i just posted i wrote this. i don't know why, just wrote it. wewin proceed to rip me.




whats a promise mean to you?
blank sheets of paper, addressed to you
are on their way
the ink in the pen ran out
who am i kidding
i just couldnt find the words to say

whats a promise mean to you?
does it mean broken jaws
or being passed out in bathroom stalls
when you find out
you know where im at
send me a letter, a telegrem, anything

i swept the blood
from the papercuts
under the rug
i learned that from you
you were always the best
at cleaning up the mess

i swept the blood
from the papercuts
under the rug
i learned that from you
you were always the best
at cleaning up the mess

whats a promise mean to you?
you don't have an answer do you?
i didn't think you would.
liars never do.

[DevilMayCare]

i like it. that may not mean much seeing as how we don't really know each other but i think that with a relatively talented (instrumentally) band, that could be a good song

[DaneTheTrain]

Alex I really like your stuff. You manage to fit in ryhmes and not loose much emotion, thats one hell of a talent. The structure is a little funky, I'de write one more verse and introduce the chorus a little earlier, you know, before the first and last time you sing it. It might make the song a little longer but thats just my opinion.

whats a promise mean to you?
you don't have an answer do you?
i didn't think you would.
liars never do.

Very strong finishing verse and incredibly strong finishing line, I think that verse right there does an incredibul job at getting accross the point I felt you were trying to establish.

If you dont mind, I'de like to get a few comments from you on my song up right now "The Predestined Traggic Script", up in the lyrics forum.

[wewin]

"does a promise mean broken jaws"?
what the HELL? that doesn't even make sense. your songs...my god, you said yourself that you'd stop writing this tripe. you said!

"blank sheets of paper, addressed to you"
"the ink in the pen ran out"
you're not even trying to phrase them in a cool way, you're just spitting out your thoughts...it doesn't make it "sincere" or "true", it makes it a rough draft and you should've fixed it.

can't you write one song that isn't about failing and being sad and being betrayed and bleeding on something?

[xAlexisonfirex]

thanks.

well, i felt like writing this wewin. it's not a matter of can i it's a matter of do i want to?

ive written songs not about the same shit before, because i felt like writing them.

ive written a hip hop song about my moms death, ive written about a dream i had that my dad died, ive written about myself, my best friends, my feelings in total...what else do you want me to write about.

the broken jaws line:

made a promise, keeping and it meaning alot is the passed out drunk like friends, not keeping it and it not meaning anything would be us getting into a fight.

its a pretty cliche song wewin, not hard to get.

[wewin]

write a song that isn't centered on you

your mom's death and your dad dying and yourself and your friends and feelings, all those are centered on you

that's all.

[xAlexisonfirex]

fair enough.