Sound Waves

[black rose]

So, I'm not 100% sure about this one, esp. the last couple of lines. The song means a lot to me, but don't let that change your opinion or have you critisize it differently.

Sound Waves

Sound waves are all that connect us.
When we’re sitting here,
Faces glowing.
All we need are these sound waves.

Patience, my friend,
All we need is patience to get through the night.
The hours seem to shorten,
As my time with you keeps growing.
I smile as you scream,
And I laugh as you sing.

I wish this were as easy as a couple of words.
Have a few drinks and forget where you are.
Follow me into the room down the hall,
And never think twice.
It’s dark and musty:
But that’s alright.

Sound waves are all that connect us.
When we’re sitting here,
Faces glowing.
All we need are these sound waves.

I’ll show you around, and you’ll follow behind.
We’ll slip right in, unnoticed.
And we’ll come out feeling like we’ve never felt before.

I’ll never talk about this again if that’s how you feel.
The morning after is always worse than the night before.
But I love you.
And if a one night stand is all that is happening,
Than I’ll keep taking what isn’t mine.

[a speedo model]

I liked this, the chorus...or what I think is the chorus, isn't so hot. I like the first line of it but the rest is uninteresting and sort of a bummer, in a way. It just doesn't live up to it. I like the overall message of this. And the imagery. The ending is good. The second to last line "And if a one night stand is all that is happening" is the only one I'm not sure about, I like how it tells that this is about a one night stand but it seems to blunt. Maybe try working on it. Nice job with this Melissa.

[black rose]

Thanks Josiah. I had a huge Brand New ["Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades"] inspiration and it's kind of saying that I'd rather be a one night stand than nothing. It's def. a rough draft. Thanks for the comments. :-)

[a speedo model]

You would? Interesting...haha

I did get a BN feel from it, which is always good I think. Well, not always haha.

[CellarGhosts]

I liked this. good job Melissa. :-)

[black rose]

You would? Interesting...haha

I did get a BN feel from it, which is always good I think. Well, not always haha.I know it's weird, but yes I would. Kind of desperate/really love him a lot sort of thing.

I liked this. good job Melissa. :-)Thank you, Chris.

[CellarGhosts]

no problem