A Crazy Little Thing

[ItzEILEEN92]

Sitting silently,
Contemplating my every move,
Trying to find the words to say,
To say I love you,

Not concealing my feelings,
Finally having a realistic idea,
My only true emotion,
My heart and its entirety for you,

Spending my days and nights in your arms,
As days go by rapidly,
Falling further and further,
Into this crazy thing called love.

[Fallen_Tenshi]

hehe, i like it.
ur getting better each time u write.
expand ur vocab a lil more thts all =]

[a speedo model]

The second stanza is the only that was alright I thought. Somewhat original imagery but it still suffered from being both too short to get on its feet. But it also wasn't too original either. The other two are just cliche, nothing new or interesting. Honestly, this just felt forced to me. 14 year olds singing about love and being in people's arms seems false and almost pretentious to me somehow. Not saying this is in particular is false or forced, it merely felt it. :shrug:

Some advice: Don't write about love until you become a tad more experienced. It's next to impossible to do well these days.

Keep at it. I do think this is the best thing I've seen from you.

[ItzEILEEN92]

Thank you. I'm trying to get better little by little. I get what you mean by how im lacking in experence. Its just the way I have been feeling lately. Thank you again for the advice! ^_^