begining of the end

[thegraveyard]

this was the second song i ever wrote...hope u like it

The Begining of The End
this is the begining of the end of our lives
the pain that will come hurts more then the shapest of knives
you never know what will happpen tomorrow
thats why people only depend on their sorrow

i thought i saw you today
i did not say hi cause you walk the other way
you can only make it if you are strong
but the weak will never go on

the begining of the end is here
now people have a reason to live in fear
im sick and tired of all those that cried
and all of the rest who have lied

i took a walk to ease my troubled mind
but here i can only find
more pains and sorrow then i had before
i know the end is here for sure

iv walked this path a thousand times
but this is the first time i relize
we live for nothing anymore
our lives are becoming a bore

the begining of the end is here
now people have a reason to live in fear
im sick and tired of all those that cried
and all of the rest who have lied

the begining of the end is here
now people have a reason to live in fear
im sick and tired of all those that cried
and all of the rest who have lied


comments????

[ahumananomaly]

This is very good. From the first verse I wanted to keep reading, and I feel a vibe in this song, like I can connect to it. Thank you :)

[thegraveyard]

thqanks i appriciate it

[TheComeBackKid]

Not bad... I think the rhymes are pretty cliche though

[thegraveyard]

Not bad... I think the rhymes are pretty cliche though

yea it was my second song that i ever wrote so....yea i expected something like that

[a speedo model]

:shrug: Yeah, the flow was the only thing good about it. It had good flow. Rhymes all felt forced and the imagery just was boring and cliche. Don't be discouraged though, we all start somewhere.

[CellarGhosts]

I was going to give a real critique, but my brain is fried right now haha, so Im just going to back up what Josiah said.

[thegraveyard]

cool thanks for your comments...but yea it was my second song and i started like 6 months ago..i have a few more u should check them out