View Full Version : Not another sex thread...
unoriginal
08/27/03, 12:37 PM
So Andrea gave me an idea...For the non-virgins list the weirdest or coolest thing you or the person you were with has done during sex. Or something weird/funny that occured. And for the big Vs what do you think would be the weirdest thing. or coolest either way works. It's just a thread.
The Nephilm
08/27/03, 12:39 PM
had sex with this fucking whore I met in her ex boyfriends private place that had a deep and spiritual meaning to him and he walking in on us!!!
oh wait that was my ex girlfriend and her 27 year old divorced boyfriend... fucking bitch
angie710
08/27/03, 12:47 PM
Originally posted by The Nephilm
had sex with this fucking whore I met in her ex boyfriends private place that had a deep and spiritual meaning to him and he walking in on us!!!
oh wait that was my ex girlfriend and her 27 year old divorced boyfriend... fucking bitch
:cool:
I've inspired a thread??? YAHOOOOO!!!! LOL...
I'd like to carry over my Better Get Maaco story...That was embarrasment enough...
nostalgia
08/27/03, 12:48 PM
whores.
BrandNewRock05
08/27/03, 01:03 PM
OK, funniest experience....I'm doing my usual sex god love making with my girlfriend and she goes into a sneezing spasm....like for several minutes. Dozens of sneezes. How am I supposed to concentrate?
unoriginal
08/27/03, 01:06 PM
hahaha that really sucks. Way to kill the mood.
drivthru182
08/27/03, 01:08 PM
Originally posted by BrandNewRock05
OK, funniest experience....I'm doing my usual sex god love making with my girlfriend and she goes into a sneezing spasm....like for several minutes. Dozens of sneezes. How am I supposed to concentrate?
sorry, but that is the funniest thing ive ever heard. just thinking about fucking a girl and she starts to spaz makes me giddy like a school girl
BrandNewRock05
08/27/03, 01:11 PM
Originally posted by unoriginal
hahaha that really sucks. Way to kill the mood.
I was really confused....what do i do? keep going? stop and get her a tissue? i had no clue...so i pulled a james bond. rolled over, and grabbed a tissue in miraculously cunning speed, never missed a beat...no, i wish.... i got up and grabbed her the damn tissue and washed snot off of my chest...all fun
unoriginal
08/27/03, 01:15 PM
whoa that's sick. Ummm weirdest thing for me was my guy's little brother walking in on us. It sucked because his little brother had a crush on me then he saw that and knew there were no chances. I have other weird things but I'll save you guys from hearing them. Just had to contribute to my thread.
The Nephilm
08/27/03, 01:17 PM
Originally posted by BrandNewRock05
I was really confused....what do i do? keep going? stop and get her a tissue? i had no clue...so i pulled a james bond. rolled over, and grabbed a tissue in miraculously cunning speed, never missed a beat...no, i wish.... i got up and grabbed her the damn tissue and washed snot off of my chest...all fun
thats fucking great...
a real james bond move is nailing a girl in the same room as your dad when he is sleeping
BrandNewRock05
08/27/03, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by The Nephilm
thats fucking great...
a real james bond move is nailing a girl in the same room as your dad when he is sleeping
im too much of a puss to do it within a block range of anyones parents...must be on vacation or having a major surgery or something....
and erin, that really sucks, did the little kid cry? that would have been gold
angie710
08/27/03, 01:26 PM
Mike, your story made me giggle....
BrandNewRock05
08/27/03, 01:30 PM
Originally posted by angie710
Mike, your story made me giggle.... made me cry
unoriginal
08/27/03, 01:32 PM
haha no he didn't cry he just left the house and walked around the block. He wouldn't look at any of us for the rest of the week
angie710
08/27/03, 01:43 PM
Originally posted by unoriginal
haha no he didn't cry he just left the house and walked around the block. He wouldn't look at any of us for the rest of the week
Holding a box of Puff's Plus...
~ Memories~
hmm .. weird thing was when i was really drunk with my ex and i was fingering her and she took my hands out and started licking them. then we were talking about this particular girl while the 4 of us were shoveling .. and it turned out that like 3/5 of us had been with her and she'd done the finger thing everytime .. i guess it was like her trade mark or something ... definitely a turn on though ...
also .. ehh having sex on somoene's AC unit (like on the side of a house) and people walking their dog's and stuff late at night walking by and not even knowing :D that's always interesting ..
angie710
08/27/03, 01:54 PM
I never seem to escape the AC girl, do I?
i cant believe that in the 10 minutes i have to check the forum right now. that i spent 5 of them waiting for this stupid thread to load and then to read the replies.
richter915
08/27/03, 02:03 PM
god...you sex crazed kids of today...back in my day handjela was our only one...we played with her alll day and night...abstinence is the way!!
alright...I'm a virgin...is it that obvious? Doing it in a public place would be fun...haha it would be hilarious if like...the cops catch you and then like they're like "please stand up maam" and then when she gets up...I splooge all over them and make a run for it...it's genius!! milky white genius!
Originally posted by angie710
I never seem to escape the AC girl, do I?
hmm .. i don't think so .. but then again neither do i really ..
it's weird hanging out with this girl because she was a virgin, but we've had sex .. but we only told like 3 people out of the group .. and her nickname WAS the virgin .. and they still call her that .. so whenever someone mentions it my one friend starts cracking up and signing under the sea (because the first time was in a pool) and i'm surprised the secret isn't out yet .. but .. ehh .. oh well it's all in good fun ..
oc_dodo
08/27/03, 02:08 PM
Originally posted by richter915
god...you sex crazed kids of today...back in my day handjela was our only one...we played with her alll day and night...abstinence is the way!!
alright...I'm a virgin...is it that obvious? Doing it in a public place would be fun...haha it would be hilarious if like...the cops catch you and then like they're like "please stand up maam" and then when she gets up...I splooge all over them and make a run for it...it's genius!! milky white genius!
Richter......HELLO, did you get my PM? i lost my insatn messanger.....hit me up please.
richter915
08/27/03, 02:10 PM
Originally posted by oc_dodo
Richter......HELLO, did you get my PM? i lost my insatn messanger.....hit me up please.
I responded to it...check your inbox.
angie710
08/27/03, 02:11 PM
AC girl has just officially been placed on my hit list... Watch out Jersey!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
Suprhatch614
08/27/03, 02:20 PM
Ok this just happened recently...so i was having sex with my girlfriend and i ask whilst humping "are you on the pill" I'm assuming she has to be, cuz she let me put it in her without a condom, to my shock she says "no, keep going" and i'm all like...uhhhh...how bout not...so i'm pull out and she just tackles me and starts giving head, damn good head i might add, anyway i tell her i'm cumming (cuz i'm a gentleman) and she keeps going to town so i'm like ok let's see how this works out...she i cum, she stops a spits it on my stomach get's up and gives me a rag...she treated me like a whore...and it was the most wonderful thing ever....so yeah...that's my story
Originally posted by Suprhatch614
Ok this just happened recently...so i was having sex with my girlfriend and i ask whilst humping "are you on the pill" I'm assuming she has to be, cuz she let me put it in her without a condom, to my shock she says "no, keep going" and i'm all like...uhhhh...how bout not...so i'm pull out and she just tackles me and starts giving head, damn good head i might add, anyway i tell her i'm cumming (cuz i'm a gentleman) and she keeps going to town so i'm like ok let's see how this works out...she i cum, she stops a spits it on my stomach get's up and gives me a rag...she treated me like a whore...and it was the most wonderful thing ever....so yeah...that's my story
hmm.. i've had almost all of that happen .. except after she spit it on my stomach .. then she licked it off ... (same girl as the fingers girl ... she was freaky :eek: )
angie710
08/27/03, 02:27 PM
You are the fucking best.....
Suprhatch614
08/27/03, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by angie710
You are the fucking best.....
Assuming that's in response to me...thankyou...if not...hey what about me
yes ang dear you need to use that lil quote button!
Being a virgin is usually ok untill you people come along with your sex stories. Damn you all. :(
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 03:24 PM
Ahh, it's great to laugh during sex. A few memorable follies:
I was completely wasted and having this crazy sex session with my best friend's brother (another story altogether) and he was all about showing off his moves and changing positions rapidly. All was going swell until we went at it doggie-style and my drunken disorientation combined with his forceful thrusting resulted in me falling head-first off the bed. He caught me around the waist and continued without missing a beat, god bless him.
I was giving hellacious oral to my slampiece for the first time and when I sensed he was almost there, I told him that I wanted him to cum in my mouth. The dirty talk sent him over the edge a bit sooner than expected and he came all over my hair instead. I was better prepared the next time.
proeuthanasia
08/27/03, 03:30 PM
Originally posted by torch
Being a virgin is usually ok untill you people come along with your sex stories. Damn you all. :(
you are a virgin? one of the few things on this board that surprises me. i'm one as well. god, the temptation. i assume you understand full well what i mean by that.
FishAlotNBePunk
08/27/03, 03:36 PM
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
Ahh, it's great to laugh during sex. A few memorable follies:
I was completely wasted and having this crazy sex session with my best friend's brother (another story altogether) and he was all about showing off his moves and changing positions rapidly. All was going swell until we went at it doggie-style and my drunken disorientation combined with his forceful thrusting resulted in me falling head-first off the bed. He caught me around the waist and continued without missing a beat, god bless him.
I was giving hellacious oral to my slampiece for the first time and when I sensed he was almost there, I told him that I wanted him to cum in my mouth. The dirty talk sent him over the edge a bit sooner than expected and he came all over my hair instead. I was better prepared the next time.
Oh. my. god.
holy shit i'll be back in 5. dayum.
richter915
08/27/03, 04:09 PM
Originally posted by Suprhatch614
Ok this just happened recently...so i was having sex with my girlfriend and i ask whilst humping "are you on the pill" I'm assuming she has to be, cuz she let me put it in her without a condom, to my shock she says "no, keep going" and i'm all like...uhhhh...how bout not...so i'm pull out and she just tackles me and starts giving head, damn good head i might add, anyway i tell her i'm cumming (cuz i'm a gentleman) and she keeps going to town so i'm like ok let's see how this works out...she i cum, she stops a spits it on my stomach get's up and gives me a rag...she treated me like a whore...and it was the most wonderful thing ever....so yeah...that's my story
I hate you...
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 04:16 PM
I can't believe she didn't swallow. I'm not a fan of this girl.
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 04:17 PM
Originally posted by FishAlotNBePunk
Oh. my. god.
holy shit i'll be back in 5. dayum.
I'm going to pretend I didn't see this, little brother.
richter915
08/27/03, 04:19 PM
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
I can't believe she didn't swallow. I'm not a fan of this girl.
ya, same here...when girls spit...it's like a sign of rejection...then again...if she's been suckin on your wang like a lollipop for the past five minutes...not rejection there...wow, I'm a dumbass...and when she spits on you...that's just nasty dude...anyway...I know I'm a hypocrite and all so...all girls should swallow...the protein will do you good!
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
I can't believe she didn't swallow. I'm not a fan of this girl.
i've got a funny story with that. ac girl (as she's known in other threads .. just look around) never gave head before until she met me. blah blah blah she did it like 10 or 20 times idk i lost count but then one day she IMs me and goes:
'ya know what jay told me today ... i don't HAVE to swallow'
and i started laughing and go 'oh, you don't have to, it's just nicer if you do' so she always does it. it's funny to make fun of her for that though. i'm surprised she's still friends with us because she gets made fun of like the entire night for sucking too much dick .. ehh oh well ..
MaybeOneDay
08/27/03, 04:25 PM
Originally posted by Suprhatch614
Ok this just happened recently...so i was having sex with my girlfriend and i ask whilst humping "are you on the pill" I'm assuming she has to be, cuz she let me put it in her without a condom, to my shock she says "no, keep going" and i'm all like...uhhhh...how bout not...so i'm pull out and she just tackles me and starts giving head, damn good head i might add, anyway i tell her i'm cumming (cuz i'm a gentleman) and she keeps going to town so i'm like ok let's see how this works out...she i cum, she stops a spits it on my stomach get's up and gives me a rag...she treated me like a whore...and it was the most wonderful thing ever....so yeah...that's my story
HAHAHA! thats golden!
"are you on the pill ?"
"no keep going"
"how about....no"
MaybeOneDay
08/27/03, 04:27 PM
Originally posted by steveo
i've got a funny story with that. ac girl (as she's known in other threads .. just look around) never gave head before until she met me. blah blah blah she did it like 10 or 20 times idk i lost count but then one day she IMs me and goes:
'ya know what jay told me today ... i don't HAVE to swallow'
and i started laughing and go 'oh, you don't have to, it's just nicer if you do' so she always does it. it's funny to make fun of her for that though. i'm surprised she's still friends with us because she gets made fun of like the entire night for sucking too much dick .. ehh oh well ..
haha...thats classic.
you know seeing this girl likes to suck so much dick...i could give you my address and you give it to her...she comes up here, we have a little friend....i send her back. sound good ? lol.
richter915
08/27/03, 04:28 PM
Originally posted by steveo
i've got a funny story with that. ac girl (as she's known in other threads .. just look around) never gave head before until she met me. blah blah blah she did it like 10 or 20 times idk i lost count but then one day she IMs me and goes:
'ya know what jay told me today ... i don't HAVE to swallow'
and i started laughing and go 'oh, you don't have to, it's just nicer if you do' so she always does it. it's funny to make fun of her for that though. i'm surprised she's still friends with us because she gets made fun of like the entire night for sucking too much dick .. ehh oh well ..
dude is she like...slow or like...blonde?
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 04:31 PM
Hah, you stole my line, richter915! "I need the protein."
Seriously...I don't see what the big deal is about swallowing. I like it, personally.
brandon: hmm that could probably be arranged. she knows she's hour hoe .. and she gets 15% .. she already gives us half of her money ..
richter: nah she's just .. idk .. was a good little catholic girl and then she met me and my penis and she fell in love ... but c'mon what's not to love :D
MaybeOneDay
08/27/03, 04:43 PM
Originally posted by steveo
brandon: hmm that could probably be arranged. she knows she's hour hoe .. and she gets 15% .. she already gives us half of her money ..
richter: nah she's just .. idk .. was a good little catholic girl and then she met me and my penis and she fell in love ... but c'mon what's not to love :D
you own
richter915
08/27/03, 04:55 PM
Originally posted by MaybeOneDay
you own
I concur.
proeuthenasia: You didn't think i was a virgin? Maybe i just give off the vibe of a cocky asshole who knows everything or something like that. God I hate cocky people. And people.
Brandon: What the hell. I thought you were leaving? I'm glad you're still here though.
richter915
08/27/03, 05:07 PM
I like proeuthanasia...she kept me in her sig or ...I'm still there or whatever...I feel proud...I wish I lived closer to her...and uh...wasn't already in love and uh...was more attractive and um...had the balls to go up to a girl and talk to her...ok so I've got a lot to work on.
i've heard she's hot .. never really talked to her though ..
richter915
08/27/03, 05:13 PM
Originally posted by steveo
i've heard she's hot .. never really talked to her though ..
same here
MaybeOneDay
08/27/03, 05:20 PM
Originally posted by torch
proeuthenasia: You didn't think i was a virgin? Maybe i just give off the vibe of a cocky asshole who knows everything or something like that. God I hate cocky people. And people.
Brandon: What the hell. I thought you were leaving? I'm glad you're still here though.
im back
see the thread i made
TWO SOMEBODY'S HAVE CYBER CRUSHES!
proeuthanasia
08/27/03, 06:45 PM
hahaha. this thread..ahh, this thread.
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 06:56 PM
Originally posted by proeuthanasia
hahaha. this thread..ahh, this thread.
...has turned pathetic.
Back to the funny sex stories, people!
proeuthanasia
08/27/03, 08:24 PM
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
...has turned pathetic.
indeed. the thread was pathetic to begin with. funny. but pathetic.
unoriginal
08/27/03, 08:42 PM
Soo Anyway..
Another weird thing was when my boyfriend made me wear an Atlanta Braves hat tilted to the side during sex because I looked hot in it..hahaha
MaybeOneDay
08/27/03, 08:45 PM
Originally posted by unoriginal
Soo Anyway..
Another weird thing was when my boyfriend made me wear an Atlanta Braves hat tilted to the side during sex because I looked hot in it..hahaha
hahaha umm, yeah..err..thats a little strange. but hey, if you look hot in it...why not ?
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 08:48 PM
It's not any weirder than a guy insisting you keep your skirt on...or your cowboy hat. *cough*
unoriginal
08/27/03, 08:48 PM
Originally posted by MaybeOneDay
hahaha umm, yeah..err..thats a little strange. but hey, if you look hot in it...why not ?
That's what I said too
MaybeOneDay
08/27/03, 09:14 PM
Originally posted by unoriginal
That's what I said too
good work.
unoriginal
08/27/03, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
It's not any weirder than a guy insisting you keep your skirt on...or your cowboy hat. *cough*
what's up with the cough huh? None of this happened with you right....?
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 09:22 PM
Originally posted by unoriginal
what's up with the cough huh? None of this happened with you right....?
:-x
MapleLeaf
08/27/03, 09:28 PM
haha devin?
Tom Foolery
08/27/03, 09:50 PM
Originally posted by MapleLeaf
haha devin?
And Brandon, unfortunately. I'd just like to point out that these requests were unsolicited.
angie710
08/28/03, 06:36 AM
I was with my very first boyfriend for about 6 months before we did the deed...Anyhow...He always used to make me do these insane positions and what not...It got quite raunchy... One day, I wanted my Dad to record something for me while I was out, so I grabbed what was thought to be a copy of "Young Guns" or some shit, so I gave it up, thinking he wouldnt miss it....
I returned home to a ghostly white Mom and Dad... Apparantley it was a recorded version of our indescribable sex acts... I received a 3 hour lecture and sent to a psychiatrist soon therafter.. According to them I had "promiscuous" tendencies and needed help... Damn him...
PSYCHOkinetic
08/28/03, 06:42 AM
most entertaining experience. leavin ur underpants at a guy's house after playin a trick on friends. now i can't live it down, i didn't even have to be that close with a guy for him to get my underwear. damn.
richter915
08/28/03, 09:51 AM
Originally posted by angie710
I was with my very first boyfriend for about 6 months before we did the deed...Anyhow...He always used to make me do these insane positions and what not...It got quite raunchy... One day, I wanted my Dad to record something for me while I was out, so I grabbed what was thought to be a copy of "Young Guns" or some shit, so I gave it up, thinking he wouldnt miss it....
I returned home to a ghostly white Mom and Dad... Apparantley it was a recorded version of our indescribable sex acts... I received a 3 hour lecture and sent to a psychiatrist soon therafter.. According to them I had "promiscuous" tendencies and needed help... Damn him...
well...the OBVIOUS question now is...where is this video and how much do you want for it????
Originally posted by richter915
well...the OBVIOUS question now is...where is this video and how much do you want for it????
drivthru182
08/28/03, 10:34 AM
Originally posted by PSYCHOkinetic
most entertaining experience. leavin ur underpants at a guy's house after playin a trick on friends. now i can't live it down, i didn't even have to be that close with a guy for him to get my underwear. damn.
sixteen candles?
angie710
08/28/03, 11:07 AM
Originally posted by richter915
well...the OBVIOUS question now is...where is this video and how much do you want for it????
Wouldnt you like to know.....
Hmmmmm......;)
Suprhatch614
08/28/03, 11:09 AM
yes yes i would...very much so....
damn horny...oh my god i can't control myself...i need that tape i want that tape...
sorry little self control problem....continue as if this never occurred
richter915
08/28/03, 12:41 PM
superhatch...in your sig the joke with the lightbulb...I thought it was three punks...one to screw it in...another to call that punk...and another to say they're both sellouts.
better joke: how many emo kids does it take to unscrew a light bulb?
Answer 1: 2...one to unscrew it the other to cry for the lightbulb
Answer 2: none, emo kids would rather cry in the dark.
richter915
08/28/03, 12:42 PM
Originally posted by angie710
Wouldnt you like to know.....
Hmmmmm......;)
heh heh, you rock dude...dude you live in queens...you should come over here and hang out with me and my loser posse...we'll whip your ass at video games!!
angie710
08/28/03, 01:01 PM
Originally posted by richter915
heh heh, you rock dude...dude you live in queens...you should come over here and hang out with me and my loser posse...we'll whip your ass at video games!!
You could never surpass my incredible Tony Hawk Pro Skater talent....Its just not pheasable...
Hell yeah, suga! Where in LI again??
I just got into a car accident near the Southern State Pkwy exit on the LIE.... It was SCARY :( I got stitches for the first time ever...
~Sniff~
Suprhatch614
08/28/03, 01:08 PM
Originally posted by richter915
superhatch...in your sig the joke with the lightbulb...I thought it was three punks...one to screw it in...another to call that punk...and another to say they're both sellouts.
better joke: how many emo kids does it take to unscrew a light bulb?
Answer 1: 2...one to unscrew it the other to cry for the lightbulb
Answer 2: none, emo kids would rather cry in the dark.
I'd never heard the "call them sellouts part...that's funny...i'm adding that
richter915
08/28/03, 01:16 PM
Originally posted by angie710
You could never surpass my incredible Tony Hawk Pro Skater talent....Its just not pheasable...
Hell yeah, suga! Where in LI again??
I just got into a car accident near the Southern State Pkwy exit on the LIE.... It was SCARY :( I got stitches for the first time ever...
~Sniff~
we live in New Hyde Park...it's pretty close to the nassau/queens border and right before you enter Mineola...just go to like the Roosevelt Field Mall and we'll meet you there.
Stitches are scary...I'm sorry you got hurt...though that makes no difference it still happened...did you get a lot though?? I got 60 on my foot once cause I was an idiot. Hope you feel better!
angie710
08/28/03, 01:31 PM
15 in my arm, and 47 in my head...Luckily it was the back of my head, so it dosent show...I already look torn up enough...
It was SCARY...Our jeep flipped over about 5 times ...We were side swiped by an 18 wheeler...Fucking trucks should have their own fucking roads and parkways and shit... Fucking truckers!!! :mad:
Tom Foolery
08/28/03, 02:51 PM
Yet incredibly, you're not dead.
You have, however, managed to go off topic in a thread again and turn it into your personal messenger. :rolleyes:
this is where we all hug right?
Tom Foolery
08/28/03, 03:00 PM
Originally posted by NoUse
this is where we all hug right?
If by "we all," you mean me and you, then maybe.
If by "we all," you mean we all... *runs away screaming bloody murder*
but what if hug meant .... oh boy there goes my imagination again ..
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
If by "we all," you mean me and you, then maybe.
you got it
angie710
08/29/03, 07:36 AM
Originally posted by Tom Foolery
Yet incredibly, you're not dead.
You have, however, managed to go off topic in a thread again and turn it into your personal messenger. :rolleyes:
Your compassion is so vague, its almost non- existant...
Everyone goes off topic, get over it...
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