Someone needs girl advice.

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

So yeah, I don't really know what would be the best way to explain this situation. I'll try my best. There is always way too much that is thought or done to type out regarding any situation, but like I said I will do my best. Especially since I just had a pretty interesting night with this girl that I have feelings for. So yeah, I met this girl like 2 months ago and like it does take a lot of ball for me to meet girls, like seriously I'm really shy. But I'm proud that I did get the balls to talk to this girl, because she is awesome. Like we talk a lot on the net and sometimes on the phone. We've hung out twice since then. I have been really shy around her too, but we always seem to be around each other when we hang out because we have always been in a big group. And because of that "big group" dynamic, I'm really unsure of how intimate we can be if she wants to get intimate at all. Like yeah, its totally wracking my brain because I am REALLY inexperienced with girls and stuff. So i guess my question would be how would I tell this girl that I have feelings for her, like i dont want to scare her away like I've done so many times before. Like I just want to know where our relationship stands without fucking it up....yeah..HELP ME

[mikeduin620]

Alright man, here's what my experience has taught me with girls. First of all, be honest. If they don't see honesty and sincerity in you, you won't get anywhere. However, it doesn't seem like that will be much of a problem with you. The first thing you should do is ask the girl if she just wants to go out to dinner or something. Don't even make it out to seem like a date. Just see if she wants to hang out, anything, go play miniature golf, just SOMETHING where you can find out if there's some sort of chemistry between the two of you.
From there, if things go well, I've always found that things work best if you're totally up front. If things work well on that first get together, go to a movie. If things progress nicely between the two of you, talk to her about it. Just say to her something along the lines of "listen, I really don't get strong feelings for a lot of girls very often (even if thats not the case, say it anyway ;) ) and with you. . . well I don't know, I just really feel something extraordinary for you. Do you feel anything there?" Don't make it an intense situation, just kind of bring it up if it's just the two of you. Go on a walk or something. I'm totally in love with a girl. . . and I did the exact same thing on a night last May walking around my neighborhood. Anyway, this is about you, not me. Just be up front with her, be honest, be sweet, be sincere. . . and you should be golden from there.
Good luck bro, get back to me on how it goes, or if anything happens.

[unsung_zero02]

what he ^ said pretty much says everything. so best of luck to you!

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by mikeduin620
Alright man, here's what my experience has taught me with girls. First of all, be honest. If they don't see honesty and sincerity in you, you won't get anywhere. However, it doesn't seem like that will be much of a problem with you. The first thing you should do is ask the girl if she just wants to go out to dinner or something. Don't even make it out to seem like a date. Just see if she wants to hang out, anything, go play miniature golf, just SOMETHING where you can find out if there's some sort of chemistry between the two of you.
From there, if things go well, I've always found that things work best if you're totally up front. If things work well on that first get together, go to a movie. If things progress nicely between the two of you, talk to her about it. Just say to her something along the lines of "listen, I really don't get strong feelings for a lot of girls very often (even if thats not the case, say it anyway ;) ) and with you. . . well I don't know, I just really feel something extraordinary for you. Do you feel anything there?" Don't make it an intense situation, just kind of bring it up if it's just the two of you. Go on a walk or something. I'm totally in love with a girl. . . and I did the exact same thing on a night last May walking around my neighborhood. Anyway, this is about you, not me. Just be up front with her, be honest, be sweet, be sincere. . . and you should be golden from there.
Good luck bro, get back to me on how it goes, or if anything happens.

WHOA MAN! thanks a lot thats real kick ass advice. THANKS A LOT. And yes I am really honest and sincere, I am like that just naturally and I really honestly and sincerely care for this girl...

[PSYCHOkinetic]

ok take this advice from a girl, which i am. i totally agree with what dude said up there, because most of the time if you let a person know you like them, even if they didn't like you before, they start to like you then. it's human nature. but first before you do any of that, make sure she feels comfortable with one of her friends liking her. just like hint questions at her. cuz trust me, one of my friends told me he liked me, and its creeped me ever since, just because of the fact that he is my friend and i've known him for so long. so find out what she wants first, and then tell her.

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by PSYCHOkinetic
ok take this advice from a girl, which i am. i totally agree with what dude said up there, because most of the time if you let a person know you like them, even if they didn't like you before, they start to like you then. it's human nature. but first before you do any of that, make sure she feels comfortable with one of her friends liking her. just like hint questions at her. cuz trust me, one of my friends told me he liked me, and its creeped me ever since, just because of the fact that he is my friend and i've known him for so long. so find out what she wants first, and then tell her.

yeah, thanks for the advice also. And I know what its like to be someones friend and kinda scare them off a bit because I start liking them...its happened..and it sucks.

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Quick update guys. Well, I asked her to come over one day and well she came over today and hung out. there was no relationship-like stuff but it was really fun. She's one awesome girl. Man I even got caught by my parents for having her at my house it was worth it. I mean me and her alone at my house..just awesome. and hanging out in my room and stuff..oh so great!

Oh yeah, I also played "Letters to You" on guitar and sang to her..awww

[SnowintheSummer]

Originally posted by RUFiOOOOOOO
Quick update guys. Well, I asked her to come over one day and well she came over today and hung out. there was no relationship-like stuff but it was really fun. She's one awesome girl. Man I even got caught by my parents for having her at my house it was worth it. I mean me and her alone at my house..just awesome. and hanging out in my room and stuff..oh so great!

Oh yeah, I also played "Letters to You" on guitar and sang to her..awww

thats awesome im sooo happy for you

and good job with the guitar, every girls secret dream is to date a boy in a band and have him write and then sing a song for her at a show. if you have any friends in bands, have them do that ;) or else just like sing a really sweet cover and dedicate it to her. its the best. haha sorry but what you did is close enough, its definately a semi-secret dream

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by SnowintheSummer
thats awesome im sooo happy for you

and good job with the guitar, every girls secret dream is to date a boy in a band and have him write and then sing a song for her at a show. if you have any friends in bands, have them do that ;) or else just like sing a really sweet cover and dedicate it to her. its the best. haha sorry but what you did is close enough, its definately a semi-secret dream

awwww thanks man. Yeah, I'm super stoked. like we hung out today and on Friday too, so that rocked. Yeah, I'm kinda in a band just starting up but she could never make it to any of the few birthday gigs we've played so I want to bring her around to band practice and sing for her hopefully one day...

oh yeah, on Friday when she was dropping me off from hanging out at the mall we we're both singing along to Yellowcard in the car together it was awesome. singing along to their cover of Michelle Branch's "Everywhere" was the best. awwwwwww, man sooo happy right now beyond belief....

[mikeduin620]

haha man the way you're workin it right now, it sounds like you didn't even need our advice!! way to go bro, thats way tight, those happy feelings are the best. awesome man, just awesome.

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by mikeduin620
haha man the way you're workin it right now, it sounds like you didn't even need our advice!! way to go bro, thats way tight, those happy feelings are the best. awesome man, just awesome.

Well, like everyones advice especially yours is very much appreciated. I think I still need plenty of it because I really don't know if this is just a friendship or more..like yeah, kinda troubles me, I really want to spill my guts out to her but fear scaring her in some way. Yesterday we went to the park together and swung on the swings and talked on the swings and under the shade of a tree together. I also tried to teach her how to skate. I was holding both of her hands and walking with her as she was standing on the board. awww, man it was just the most amazing feeling ever.

[SnowintheSummer]

Originally posted by RUFiOOOOOOO
Well, like everyones advice especially yours is very much appreciated. I think I still need plenty of it because I really don't know if this is just a friendship or more..like yeah, kinda troubles me, I really want to spill my guts out to her but fear scaring her in some way. Yesterday we went to the park together and swung on the swings and talked on the swings and under the shade of a tree together. I also tried to teach her how to skate. I was holding both of her hands and walking with her as she was standing on the board. awww, man it was just the most amazing feeling ever.

aww i think ID be in love with you it sounds like yoiure doing great k you have a band, youre teaching her how to skate (thats an AWESOME thing to do like teaching girls how to skate or surf thats so so cute and adorable and involves like physical.. ness... lol and omg it sounds like the most adorable thing ever good luck!!!!! keep us updated ;)

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by SnowintheSummer
aww i think ID be in love with you it sounds like yoiure doing great k you have a band, youre teaching her how to skate (thats an AWESOME thing to do like teaching girls how to skate or surf thats so so cute and adorable and involves like physical.. ness... lol and omg it sounds like the most adorable thing ever good luck!!!!! keep us updated ;)

awwww, thanks. and I will keep you all updated. Wish me luck and I'll hope for the best...

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

So yeah, like I just hung out with this girl again. Just hanging out talking and watching TV type stuff. It was great. She makes me feel so good when I stare into her beautiful eyes and just talk to her, and when she laughs oh my god. its just so great. But yeah there has to be some sour stuff in everything right. Other than the fact that my mom is totally weird over this, like I think she's scared of me being in a relationship or something, I guess its a sign of me being older I guess. its really weird because I'm like 18. But it seems like even worse than that, my friends are kinda being weird about it. See I was hanging out with them this morning and I had told them I was hanging out with this girl like around noon time. So when we were hanging out I called her asking when we were going to hang out and stuff. But my friends wanted me to go with them to hang out more and stuff but I chose to go hang out with this girl. and they were being all stupid about it like saying that they thought I "would always be for them and stuff" it pissed me off because I thought they would understand, like they know how desperate I was to meet a girl like months ago and now that I have they are all weird about it. If they really cared for me, I think they would understand that being with this girl would make me so amazingly happy beyond belife. I just hope they do.

the ironic thing is that a couple months ago my friend was complaining about how hard it was juggling his friends, family, girlfriend and job. And I let him know that he could spend all his free time away from work trying to accomidate the needs of his girlfriend and his family, and we (his friends) will always be there anyway...that just sucks

[LessThanJade]

that is just how friends are at times.. I'll admit ive been guilty to be mad that friends spend time with their "significant other" or whatever but they will get over it its just a phase. and im glad things are working out for you with the girl! that is great.:D

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Originally posted by LessThanJade
that is just how friends are at times.. I'll admit ive been guilty to be mad that friends spend time with their "significant other" or whatever but they will get over it its just a phase. and im glad things are working out for you with the girl! that is great.:D

Yeah, I guess things are kinda better. Like those 2 friends, me, and her hung out for a lil while today and that was cool. She thought they were pretty funny. so thats good!

[LessThanJade]

awesome!! :)

[unsung_zero02]

aww these stories are so sweet. they make me cry.

::insert crying smiley (hey thats an oxymoron in a way) here::



note that i'm not mocking you or anything

[justcallmeliz]

dude from the sounds of it i dont think that you have much to lose because it sounds like she likes you too because of the awesome time that you had with her. Even then you hang out in a group of people and that will make everything less stressful when it comes to hanging out with her after you tell her how you feel so it wont be too bad.

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

So alright..here's an update...

Since I last posted about this stuff we had started school together, we go to the same university. Thursday was our first day and she drove me to school (yes, I don't drive yet). and that was super awesome. I sat in back of her in class and everything, it was great. And we had lunch together!! wooohoo. then waited till her next class and I walked her to it.

So yeah, and since then we've been hanging out a lot at school and stuff. I think shes going to take me to school on Tuesdays and Thursday's till I get my license so that is really cool. I'm also trying to get her in this band I'm starting!

but yeah, I've walked her to all her classes and its just been so great hanging out with her. She makes me so happy. Shes all I think about, and I long to be with her whenever I'm not. The very few nights we don't talk I feel so empty.

I also burned her the new Matchbook Romance CD and she really likes it! I love that CD. One of my favorite tracks is one of hers too its called "Tiger Lily"...I want to learn it and play and sing along to it because its exactly the way I feel when I'm with her.. I asked for help in the tab section so if you wanna help check out: http://forum.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26505

Here are the lyrics to Matchbook Romance's "Tiger Lily"...it totally explains what I'm feeling when I'm with her..I cut and pasted these lyrics so dont blame me for the mistakes or bad spelling/grammar...

"we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
i'll never let go.
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.
and i... don't want to speak these words.
cause i, don't want to make things anyworse.
why does tonite, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.
and i... don't want to speak these words.
cause i, don't want to make things anyworse."

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

Well, here's another update...

We were hanging out at my school's gameroom and sitting on the same little table thing. And I got the sudden urge to spike her with my hair, which means I was going to poke her face withy my spikey hair just for fun. but she kept on moving away so I tried pulling her face back towards me and I accidentally poked her eye!!!!!!! ahhhh...I felt soo bad and said sorry a million times. and since I poked the eye on the opposite side of me I was saying sorry and rubbing her face with my arm going in back of her and when I stopped I just kept my arm around her for a lil while, she seemed cool with it but I'm not so sure if she would be comfortable with it so I just took it off after like 10 seconds..uuuuuhhhhhh, I'm such a dork...but it felt so good having my arm around her....shes soooo awesome...

[mikeduin620]

haha justin, you are the shit. im a little under the influence of alcohol and weed right now, but seriously dawg, ivee gone htrough all that sme shit and had all the same feeligns. its a crazy time. i remember the first time i put my arm aorund a girl and knew she didnt mind it being draped over her shoulders. if you're as much like me as i think you are...you wont believe how good it feels to finally hold and love a girl that you know youre meant to be with. hope all keeps going well.

[rainbowmafia21]

now theres a sure-fire way to win a girls heart -
poke her eye out! hehe. u sound like a cool guy, good luck!

[RUFiOOOOOOO]

hehehhehe...I remember this thread..my how things have progressed...I'll try to update soon...

[Milonater]

No need man, once you pull a hair poke, you never go back. It's all over.

[punklet2101]

heheh cmon .. out with it :D wanna hear already