these are two of my older poems

[thnksfrthmmrs94]

We Parish


Forever more we parish,
Though it is life itself we should cherish,
All of us just take it for granted,
Though on and on we ranted,
Forever more we shall live,
So life itself is just a small fib.





Dream

The dreamer is the dream weaver they work in harmony,
One looks one sees, both do their work readily, In
my time and your time the dreamer and the dream weavers are you and I.

[thnksfrthmmrs94]

im bored so im going to post more poems

[thnksfrthmmrs94]

Endlessly, They Said

Today is Monday, I go dreadfully back to school, Again I cut, But this time it is despair, Day by day that cut gets deeper, Until I can’t do it anymore, All my friends have been tortured by my life, Though I say it’s not their fault, Still they don’t believe me, Deeper and deeper does that cut still go, Blood and depression flowing in and out, Still I think why do they care, I know it’s because they love me and don’t want me to get hurt, Yet they destroy me, Endlessly they said, Stop please stop, Still I cut, Deeper and deeper still it goes, Until I parish in the end.

[TK]

First one, I can't read some of the words. Second one, not bad, I liked it. Third one, cliche, and imo, annoyingly bad.

Btw, the font might look cool, but I would change it to regular font, so people who don't have the best of eyes, don't have a hard time reading it

[OveriseFan]

First one, I can't read some of the words. Second one, not bad, I liked it. Third one, cliche, and imo, annoyingly bad.

Btw, the font might look cool, but I would change it to regular font, so people who don't have the best of eyes, don't have a hard time reading it

Hey, you. Yeah, you. You're new here (as in "the lyrics forum", not AP as a whole.), right? I like you. You seem like a good, sensible person.

Now let me give you a quick little lesson... There's some people, like FOB girl here, who will not listen to sensible suggestions, like your last sentence is. Upsettingly, these people clutter this forum.

In my opinion, the only way to get rid of them is to be mean. It's sad, but true. So join me in telling her the truth, that her poetry is (presumably) horrible. [I actually couldn't read it, but judging from her old crapola, her older crapola is nothing better.]

Please, now, little FOB girl, leave this forum, and stop cluttering it with garbage.

http://www.milton.ca/images/LitterBug_small.gif

[lew_1987]

you should write for birthday cards

[a speedo model]

Oh....Lord..

[guywithstik]

Your font just raped my eyes.

[OveriseFan]

you should write for birthday cards

Funeral cards.

[TK]

Hey, you. Yeah, you. You're new here (as in "the lyrics forum", not AP as a whole.), right? I like you. You seem like a good, sensible person.

Now let me give you a quick little lesson... There's some people, like FOB girl here, who will not listen to sensible suggestions, like your last sentence is. Upsettingly, these people clutter this forum.

In my opinion, the only way to get rid of them is to be mean. It's sad, but true. So join me in telling her the truth, that her poetry is (presumably) horrible. [I actually couldn't read it, but judging from her old crapola, her older crapola is nothing better.]

Please, now, little FOB girl, leave this forum, and stop cluttering it with garbage.

http://www.milton.ca/images/LitterBug_small.gif

hahaha, you have no idea how much that made me laugh:-D But unfortanetly I don't have as much room to critisize her work, so I just try to give feedback that is helpful instead of mean. But lmfao at

http://www.milton.ca/images/LitterBug_small.gif

[de la sympathie]

First off, if you're trying to rhyme absolutely everything in the first 'poem', 'live' doesn't rhyme with 'fib'.

Secondly -

parish - (par'ish) n.
!. orig., a British church district with its own church and clergyman
2. a district of British local civil government, often identical to the original church parish

perish - (per'ish) vi.
1. to be destroyed, ruined, or wiped out
2. to die; esp. to die a violent or untimely death

And I didn't like any of these.

So hopefully that helped.

[CellarGhosts]

Im not straining my eyes.