Gotta Have My Pops

[OveriseFan]

Tentative Title, because I can't think of anything right now.

This isn't finished, but before I go and write a full song of crappy lyrics, I wanted to hear what everyone thought of these. I know they're not my best, but I forced myself to write some lyrics to this new song I finished musically...

Gotta Have My Pops

When I open my mouth,
I shut myself up,
And try to think of the right words.
Once they're perfected,
Decided; Elected
They come out wrong, when will I learn? (I don't like this line, it's horrible. I need to find a replacement.)

"Escape into yourself,"
She said with a smile.
I just laughed and walked away.
New Jersey calls;
(Parking lots; Shopping malls)
Escape until the memories fade. (Not huge on this line either...)

We dance like drunks on the street:
Simple silhouettes shuffling feet.

(This chorus idea is being moved to a different song, I think.)
Wake up in time, to see the sunrise smiling.

[vandalsandquinn]

Simple, not bad. I like the title hahaha, corn pops mmmm.

[OveriseFan]

Simple, not bad. I like the title hahaha, corn pops mmmm.

I saw a corn pops commercial today, and it didn't have that slogan. I got so upset...

[vandalsandquinn]

What?! Blasphemy! At least the cheesy 'i had reeces for breakfast!' commercials are still around

[OveriseFan]

What?! Blasphemy! At least the cheesy 'i had reeces for breakfast!' commercials are still around

Haha.

That poor Trix Rabbit still hasn't gotten his Trix. TRIX AREN'T JUST FOR KIDS, DAMMIT!

[vandalsandquinn]

Haha.

That poor Trix Rabbit still hasn't gotten his Trix. TRIX AREN'T JUST FOR KIDS, DAMMIT!
But you see, if he was the Trix Bunny, he would get the Trix every time! It's because he's an adult rabbit!

[OveriseFan]

But you see, if he was the Trix Bunny, he would get the Trix every time! It's because he's an adult rabbit!

Ah... it all makes sense now.

Why not have an adult human try to capture the Trix? That'd be neat...

Although, I guess you wouldn't sell much cereal with this guy on the cover:

http://www.bobanddan.net/images/fanSubmitted/fatguy.jpg

[vandalsandquinn]

Hahaha that'd be so creepy.

[as_we_learn]

I liked this James it is simple, but I liked it. I like the "Jersey Calls" part. As for that "They come out all wrong" line that you said you didn't like, maybe it could be like "They serve as a jinx and I drop my confidence" or something I don't know just a suggestion. Anyway I liked this anyway and I can't wait to see the finished product and hear the song.

[TK]

I liked it. As for the the first line you wanted to replace, maybe They never come out as smooth as they seemed? Perhaps a horrible suggestion, but a suggestion all the least

[lew_1987]

i didn't like the first section, but everything else was pretty good.