New piece

[lew_1987]

First off, I couldn't think of a title. any suggestions are welcome. i haven't wrote in a while, and this is what i've come up with recently. i'm not sure what my feelings about it are yet. let me know what you think, thanks for checking it out.

Our lives dissect paths.
Our hearts beat asynchronous.
I try to defend the notion
That I’m not partly to blame,
But I fall short every time.

My bigotry has been rewarded with solitude.

Oh, the phone’s ringing again…
I can’t bring myself to answer it.
I’m the bringer of my own downfall.

Do I even make an impression on anyone at all?
As if 5 years meant nothing.
Leave with debts unpaid.
Not a day goes by without me thinking about the things we used to do.

We’ll make insincere promises;
Then go our own separate ways.
That’s how we live our lives.

Oh, the phone’s ringing again…
I can’t bring myself to answer it.
I’m the bringer of my own downfall.

Do I even make an impression on anyone at all?
As if 7 years meant nothing.
Leave with stories untold.
Not a day goes by without me thinking about the things we used to do.

We are never truly ourselves;
But merely an image of others.
We are each other.

Do we ever really make it outside?
I’m still waiting to return.

Do I even make an impression on anyone at all?
As if 7 years meant nothing.
Leave with sentiments high.
Not a day goes by.

Do I even make an impression on anyone at all?
As if a lifetime meant nothing.
Not a day goes by without me thinking about the things we used to do.

One bad dream can change everything;
This time it really did.

[lew_1987]

bump. who did that?

[CellarGhosts]

nice job, man. I really liked this.
overall a nice piece, although this usually wouldnt be my thing really, this is still good.
the last line of the chorus really hit home with me as well. although im not sure i interpreted it the same way as you, but still, i guess that's a good thing haha.

so yeah, cool job.

[lew_1987]

nice job, man. I really liked this.
overall a nice piece, although this usually wouldnt be my thing really, this is still good.
the last line of the chorus really hit home with me as well. although im not sure i interpreted it the same way as you, but still, i guess that's a good thing haha.

so yeah, cool job.

thanks :-) i'm surprised you like it, i'm still a bit unsure about it. how did you interpret it? it would be interesting to know if it is different to my meaning or not.

[CellarGhosts]

sure thing.

Im not too sure if this is what you intended the line to convey, but it really made me think of how this one person in my life and I used to be so much closer than we are now, and I'm always thinking of all the good times we had together.

which is probably pretty far from what you meant by it haha.

[lew_1987]

sure thing.

Im not too sure if this is what you intended the line to convey, but it really made me think of how this one person in my life and I used to be so much closer than we are now, and I'm always thinking of all the good times we had together.

which is probably pretty far from what you meant by it haha.

its actually not, you're pretty much right. although i was thinking about a few people, rather than one. the whole song is about a lot of things, but all to do with friendship. if you wanna know anything else ask me...

[CellarGhosts]

oh okay, cool then haha. but yeah, thats fine, I dont really have any questions or anything.
again, nice job.

[CellarGhosts]

btw, Ive got another new piece up.
think you could check it out?

[leezer]

I'm not really in the mood for analysing this but there were parts that I liked.
"We are never truly ourselves;
But merely an image of others.
We are each other."
and...
"We’ll make insincere promises;
Then go our own separate ways.
That’s how we live our lives."
your repeating chorus with changes is good and this is quite an honest piece. I liked it

[lew_1987]

btw, Ive got another new piece up.
think you could check it out?

done.

I'm not really in the mood for analysing this but there were parts that I liked.
"We are never truly ourselves;
But merely an image of others.
We are each other."
and...
"We’ll make insincere promises;
Then go our own separate ways.
That’s how we live our lives."
your repeating chorus with changes is good and this is quite an honest piece. I liked it

i'm glad that it came across honest, thats what i aim for in my lyrics. thanks for the reply, you don't have to do too in depth critiques all the time lol.