the Route Home

[CellarGhosts]

the Route Home

Smoke is lifting, the clouds are rusted brown.
Spitting down a toxin on this abandoned town.
Aint no one out there, no one tonight.
We roam these streets, half-alert and half-alive.

Oh whoa oh, it’s our lot in life.
Farmer grows the apathy, then the farmer fakes a life.

[chorus]
Don’t it make you sick?
We’re out of, we’re out of it.
Intrinsic boredom.
Kids don’t give two shits.

Beat is thumping, the walls are leaking sound.
Ensconcing a faux sense of stability in everyone around.
Gasoline is burning behind these tired eyes.
Crying choking vapors, spitting harmless lies.

Oh whoa oh, it’s our lot in life.
Fertilizing exhaustion, straining guilt and strife.

[chorus]
Don’t it make you sick?
We’re in, we’re out, we’re in and out of it.
Instant easy-bake apathy.
Come on in, find a place to sit.

It’s the only thing we’ve ever known,
Aint no sense of direction, aint no route back home.

[as_we_learn]

I like the flow to this piece Chirs. The imagery is pretty cool too, but I think you've had better pieces than this one. Still good though man. I liked it a lot, so good job.

[black rose]

the Route Home

Smoke is lifting, the clouds are rusted brown.
Spitting down a toxin on this abandoned town.[love these lines and the imagery]
Aint no one out there, no one tonight.
We roam these streets, half-alert and half-alive.

Oh whoa oh, it’s our lot in life.
Farmer grows the apathy, then the farmer fakes a life.[this is great as well]

[chorus]
Don’t it make you sick?
We’re out of, we’re out of it.
Intrinsic boredom.
Kids don’t give two shits.[i don't at all like the last line. something about the flow]

Beat is thumping, the walls are leaking sound.
Ensconcing a faux sense of stability in everyone around.[i love the whole 'leaking sound' thing. that's awesome]
Gasoline is burning behind these tired eyes.
Crying choking vapors, spitting harmless lies.

Oh whoa oh, it’s our lot in life.
Fertilizing exhaustion, straining guilt and strife.

[chorus]
Don’t it make you sick?
We’re in, we’re out, we’re in and out of it.
Instant easy-bake apathy.
Come on in, find a place to sit.[i like the whole easy-bake thing. reminds me of easy bake ovens when I was little. ha]

It’s the only thing we’ve ever known,
Aint no sense of direction, aint no route back home.[i hate the word aint]
This piece overall was really good, Chris. Not your best but I def. liked it.

[CellarGhosts]

This piece overall was really good, Chris. Not your best but I def. liked it.
Thanks Melissa, and its cool you pointed out certain lines and whatnot.
I usually dont like the word aint either, but whenever I use it in a piece, it's always for more of a sarcastic/folky/whatever effect. but anyways, thanks again.

I like the flow to this piece Chirs. The imagery is pretty cool too, but I think you've had better pieces than this one. Still good though man. I liked it a lot, so good job.
thanks JR, glad you liked it. I agree though, this isnt my best. but still, its def cool you like it anyways. thanks again dude.

[lew_1987]

hmm... i'm not sure about this. i had a quick read earler and i didn't like this at all. but now i've had a second read over it, i can pick out certain lines that i like, but it still doesn't completely strike a chord with me. sorry man, maybe its not my thing... but its still a good piece.

ps, could you check out my new piece please?

[CellarGhosts]

thanks Lew, sorry it's not your thing and all.
but I do see what you mean.

and yeah, I'll get right on that.