Dark Side of Me...eh, older shit

[underscore]

Hush, my love
I can't take this pain anymore
I'm sick of sacrificing
What's left inside
You may have given up
on me
But don't give up
On what could be

Come and see
the dark side of me
And you can be
the dark side of me

I'm falling apart
in front of you
but you won't stop me
from crumbling
You may have given up
on me
but I won't let you give up
on what could be

Come and see
the dark side of me
You can be
the dark side of me
I'll let you see
How you've destroyed me
I'll let you see
What you've done to me


...dark, more of a poem then a song I guess...I'm probably going to try to at some point...

[vandalsandquinn]

Cliche. The dark thing is overdone. Write about happy things, there isn't enough of that nowadays.

[underscore]

i think that might be the only dark thing i've written in awhile, but yeah it is all a bit overdone and cliche.

[leezer]

I disagree that its overdone, I don't think it can be overdone if its done well enough and originally enough but I just don't think you handled the subject very well. Saying that, look at a song like the reason by hoobastank, if I'd seen the lyrics for that written down I wouldn't have called them inspiring but it's a good song.

[underscore]

true...

idk i have trouble "capturing" the feeling i guess...thanks for the comment though

[leezer]

Minor point here but I liked the structure of this piece. The add on bit the the verse is a good idea in my opinion and i've been experimenting with that in one of my pieces.

[underscore]

Originally it was just Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus but it seemed really boring so I tagged the last bit on to the final chorus, its good to know that it worked. Thanks again.