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Stardust Cross
08/06/07, 11:48 AM
My feet carry me over rocks and dirt
Gravel stuck in crevices and burnt
A wildfire lasting for centuries on end
A tale of long past; divine songs of pretend
A fool kept in a cage for millions of years
A demon father longing the return of the tears
Tears from which followed a flood of fears
Fear from which followed sounds to both ears

Living only in a dream
Where illusion has finally turned to pain
I've seared my eyes to keep from remembrance
How soft and cold the sound of lies
Finally the flames of the last one dies

My heart beats for songs and life
Justice done in one's bloody knife
A tide high raised for centuries on end
A story done long ago; the One can portend
That the widow has found a path to light
A devil raising hell with his powers of might
Tears from which followed a flood of fears
Fear from which followed sounds to both ears

Living only in a dream
Where illusion has finally turned to pain
I've seared my eyes to keep from remembrance
How cold and soft the sound of lies
Finally the flames of the last one dies

For the name I never had
For the heart which never had
A place to call it's own
Among the many lives heart's that beat alive
In the heaven I call Earth
The moon will call the beings of the night
And redeem my soul for the right
For the name I never had
For the heart which never had

Living only in a dream
Where illusion has finally turned to pain
I've seared my eyes to keep from remembrance
How cold and soft the sound of lies
Finally the flames of the last one dies
How cold and soft the sound of lies
Finally the flames of the last one dies
For the name I never had
For the heart which never had

"...Life..."
___________________________________ ___________________________________ _____

WOAH.
This one has ALOT of meaning for me.
This is a song for someone who has lost alot and never knew anything about anyone or themselves. For someone who is still busy trying to find a person in their own self. For the contrast of minds which can only be seen by that one person. This is a song for that One who will only find themselves by having a heart which cares.
An angel perhaps...

With love,
Victoria Long

PS: Comments, suggestions, etc.? It would help alot. :)

Stardust Cross
08/06/07, 01:45 PM
Oh come on...
21 views and nothing?

Hehe~

leezer
08/07/07, 07:09 AM
Right well some of your lines are really good but I saw a lot of it as cliche'd. The thing is though, its probably because i'm not reading it the way you want to it be read. Is it music lyrics? I'm sure you didnt want it to come off this way but I imagined someone like dragon force of iron maiden singing it. But thats not a bad thing, it just seems quite epic.

xsxarexsoxscene
08/07/07, 11:10 AM
I love it.

You rhyme really well and it doesn't seem forced.

It's different and I kind of like the epic style, but I'm curious and kind of doubtful about how it will turn out as a song.

But as a poem, I think it is wonderful.

Stardust Cross
08/07/07, 11:31 AM
xDDD
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Yes, it is meant to be epic but...
In the Nightwish/Epica sort of epic.
Mostly Epica because I want a sort of...HUGE choir sound.
...Yeah.
xDDD
It's a fast song.

Dragonforce FTW.