Quiet

[CellarGhosts]

Before you read this, I'm going to warn you now, this is going to sound cheesy as hell to you guys, but it's something I'm still pretty proud of. (more or less) well, try to enjoy it...

Quiet

So quiet in Blue Ridge tonight.
Feels like my first song for anyone,
Sadly sung...to a deaf night sky.
It's another one you'll never hear.
These words would only fall on ears,
Already attuned to...
Someone else's "I love you's"

Foolish and trite as these things might seem,
To anyone else, it's all for real.
Honest in this turn of phrase, haunting the days,
That I spent holding my tongue, too quiet for too long.

[chorus]
I'd pull the clouds down and make it rain.
Caress you gently in their mist, kiss your lips.
Into each eternally aloft tree I'd etch our names.
This feels so cliche, but it's what I'm thinking.

I'm sure you're safe with him.
Content to be where you are.
Wrapped up in each other's arms.
Something I wish I knew.
That closeness to you.

We need to talk.
Leave it to me, poor timing.
But I need to explain this to you.
I'm done resigning myself to quiet corners,
And hushed attempts to say,
What's been on my mind.

[chorus]
I'd pull the clouds down and make it rain.
Caress you gently in it's mist, kiss your lips.
Into each eternally aloft tree I'd etch our names.
This feels so cliche, but it's what I'm thinking.

It's quiet in Shelbyville tonight.
Dotted skies cast silver light.
The moon's half-empty over the miles of dark blue and green scenery.
We both see the same thing.

Still something is missing.



not too sure about it...I'll be touching this one up later on now and then.

[leezer]

"This feels so cliche, but it's what I'm thinking". That says it all for anyone who ever gets the comment 'this is cliche'. Mate, you sometimes in your lyrics seem apologetic for the lyrics you write being too simple but don't be, your writing is strong. Saying that, being slightly apologetic is maybe what you think about it and sometimes you have to be true to your feelings in writing or you start to feel fake but you've nothing to worry about as far as cliche's go in my opinion. Not a bad piece at all. I think it was a bit weak but sensing that you meant this one is makes up for it slightly. But that weakness goes hand in hand with what you are talking about, art imitating life. Your subject matter in this one is consistent but I didn't think there was a flow to it that you're capable of.

[lew_1987]

turn of phrase*

i liked this a lot, although i dislike the last line of the chorus. i don't think that these lyrics are too cliche, so i don't think you need to point that out. i don't know, it just seems to ruin it a bit. nice work though.

[CellarGhosts]

"This feels so cliche, but it's what I'm thinking". That says it all for anyone who ever gets the comment 'this is cliche'. Mate, you sometimes in your lyrics seem apologetic for the lyrics you write being too simple but don't be, your writing is strong. Saying that, being slightly apologetic is maybe what you think about it and sometimes you have to be true to your feelings in writing or you start to feel fake but you've nothing to worry about as far as cliche's go in my opinion. Not a bad piece at all. I think it was a bit weak but sensing that you meant this one is makes up for it slightly. But that weakness goes hand in hand with what you are talking about, art imitating life. Your subject matter in this one is consistent but I didn't think there was a flow to it that you're capable of.
thanks man, I def see what you mean about all that.

turn of phrase*

i liked this a lot, although i dislike the last line of the chorus. i don't think that these lyrics are too cliche, so i don't think you need to point that out. i don't know, it just seems to ruin it a bit. nice work though.
ah yeah, good call. I'll fix that.

thanks though, I see now what you mean about the last line. I guess I just get frustrated that when it comes to really, really personal pieces like this, I can't write lines as "original" or "interesting" as I can otherwise, if you get what I mean.

but Im glad you guys both liked it. definatley reassures my faith in it haha.

[lew_1987]

ah yeah, good call. I'll fix that.

thanks though, I see now what you mean about the last line. I guess I just get frustrated that when it comes to really, really personal pieces like this, I can't write lines as "original" or "interesting" as I can otherwise, if you get what I mean.

but Im glad you guys both liked it. definatley reassures my faith in it haha.

yeah i know exactly what you mean, thats why i used to avoid these types of lyrics like a rash. but i just got to the point where i was like, what the hell i can write personal lyrics if i want. but i always like to add in things that other people can relate to or see another side to the 'story' if you get what i mean. i think you've managed to do that a little in these though.

[CellarGhosts]

ok, cool...yeah I see where you're coming from there.
thanks though.