Back to the Start

[Mannella]

Just hold me, whispered one mouth to the other.
Light stole into the room, and the city was alive.
The sheets were tossed, and the air was awake.
Underneath the dust, tiny voices sang sweetly.
Everything will be alright, everything will be safe in sight.
It's a new day on the dial, we slowed the night.
Kiss me one more time, if only to turn it off.
Take your scent and trickle it across the wall.
Pull the curtains and close your eyes.
It's a beginning to the end, a surprise under the sunrise.
Humanity is more than an effort,
It's a tribute described in the simplest of songs.
'Cause when you open your eyes in the middle of a dream,
You can always see, whatever you want to be seen.

[as_we_learn]

Man I haven't seen you in a long time, how have you been? I liked this a lot. The imagery and flow was pretty good, but in one of the lines its says "then an effort" it should be "than an effort''. Again good job man and if you don't mind can you read my new piece. Thanks and again good job.

[Mannella]

I've been really good, thanks. I'm working two jobs right now, one of them in a bank, so I'm busy as fuck. I've been writing 6-7 pieces a month, which is sad compared to when I wrote 50-60 a month. I post the occasional one here, but you can find all my work at http://thebutterflychase.blogspot.com

I'll come and post some responses on here in a bit.

[as_we_learn]

Good to hear man. Are you making decent money though? Anyway man I'll make sure to check out that blog. Glad to know that your alive some of the old regulars that were around when I first started posting here have disappeared or aren't on as much, so it's nice to you around here man. Good luck with everything.

[lew_1987]

i liked this a lot. i particularly enjoyed the last two lines, and the flow was great.