Puppy Love

[as_we_learn]

The warm traces of clarity go cold
into a breath visible of our immorality.
Standing in a field judged by the pollunated flowers
that take my devotion as collatoral damage.

My flaw has never seen the blood on my paws
wandering through the comfort of your love.

The rope wrapped around your wrist leaves you far from home.
My teeth have sank in and teared at each innocent thread
to reveal the mark I left when I expected the worse.
The aroma of your hair leaves me so desperate for your warm colors.

My flaw has never seen the blood on my paws
wandering through the comfort of your love.

Only the pressure of your hold knows
the truth behind my puppy love.
So blue that it hides the glow
that reflects from your eyes.

[absent-minded]

Awhhh it's sooo cute!!!! >.<


I like it. lol Idc if it's fruity. =]


Alright...so there's really nothing to critique. =/

Really, I like it how it is. It's simple and is to the point. I love the imagery, especially here:

"Standing in a field judged by the pollunated flowers
that take my devotion as collatoral damage."

[as_we_learn]

Awhhh it's sooo cute!!!! >.<


I like it. lol Idc if it's fruity. =]


Alright...so there's really nothing to critique. =/

Really, I like it how it is. It's simple and is to the point. I love the imagery, especially here:

"Standing in a field judged by the pollunated flowers
that take my devotion as collatoral damage."
Glad you liked it. Thanks a lot.

[CellarGhosts]

once again, an excellent piece. the last stanza was probably my favorite part for some reason.

speaking of which, is "puppy life" supposed to be "puppy love?"
just wondering, since that's what the title is and all, plus it makes more sense haha...

but anyway, good job again. no real complaints.

[as_we_learn]

once again, an excellent piece. the last stanza was probably my favorite part for some reason.

speaking of which, is "puppy life" supposed to be "puppy love?"
just wondering, since that's what the title is and all, plus it makes more sense haha...

but anyway, good job again. no real complaints.
Yes it was suppose to be puppy love, but I felt it was too repetitive. I'll add it anyway though and thanks Chris man. Glad you liked it.

[lew_1987]

hey dude, you get chance to check out my song yet?

whilst i hate the title (because it reminds me of the extremely annoying osmonds song), i liked this. this line made it for me:

The rope wrapped around your wrist leaves you far from home.

i thought that was awesome. and worse= worst? good work though.

[as_we_learn]

hey dude, you get chance to check out my song yet?

whilst i hate the title (because it reminds me of the extremely annoying osmonds song), i liked this. this line made it for me:

The rope wrapped around your wrist leaves you far from home.

i thought that was awesome. and worse= worst? good work though.
Yeah I did check out your song. I liked it a lot, quite catchy I must say. I was humming along to it, but the vocals were hard to hear. I can't wait until you get a better recorded version of it and let me know when you do.

And thanks Lew glad you liked it. I wasn't too sure about that line at first, but I'll be keeping it now. Also worse does equal worst thanks for pointing that out.