A Portrait of Insignificance

[thecurerocks182]

A Portrait Of Insignificance (http://www.sendspace.com/file/fp75j6) (Updated MP3)
www.myspace.com/atroposmar (http://www.myspace.com/atroposmar)

We are the deseperate and the lonely!
We are whatever comes to mind!

Now, take the best of us
And cast it out to sea.
If our remnants survive,
Then we know
It was meant to be.

Something's are clearer when they're gone.
I found contentment when the petals grew over me.

If this is what it takes
To find the best in me,
Then lace my hands together,
And I'll meet you
Under the tide.

We need some time to figure things out.
Why can't I believe what is said to me?
We need some time to discover ourselves,
And dig up the light we thought had died.

We are the deseperate and the lonely!
We are whatever comes to mind!

Our lives are sinking ships.
So, we abandoned them for this dry rock.
And although, we can't drink the water,
We could surely fill our lungs with it--
Until we're breathing in reverse.

We are the morose and the fatigued!
We are a millstone around one's neck!
We are the bleak and the unknown!
We always hurt the ones we love the most!

[dizzyuptheboy]

wow...i like!

the melody i hummed was Monsters by Matchbook Romance... i dunno tho

[CellarGhosts]

this is really cool.

good job man.

[lostfear]

I HEAR GANG VOCALS AT THE END SO BAD.


GIVE ME GANG VOCALS ON THE END AND I WILL LOVE YOU.


and it's really good, really emo. but who's counting anymore?! haha

always love your writing.

[thecurerocks182]

wow...i like!

the melody i hummed was Monsters by Matchbook Romance... i dunno tho
Thanks...I'm not a big Matchbook Romance, but I'll take whatever complement is given to me.


this is really cool.

good job man.
Thank you. Sorry it took me so long to respond, as i have been busy with university and moving into residence, and what not. I'll try to get around to reading some of your stuff, but as for now I'm concentrating on frosh week :)


I HEAR GANG VOCALS AT THE END SO BAD.


GIVE ME GANG VOCALS ON THE END AND I WILL LOVE YOU.


and it's really good, really emo. but who's counting anymore?! haha

always love your writing.
I wish I could have given you gang vocals lol. I hope you still love me... Anyways, I guess it seems a bit emo. I try not to focus too much on my personal life, but I feel it helps me get through things when my problems become stifling..its like therapy for me.

[CellarGhosts]

Thank you. Sorry it took me so long to respond, as i have been busy with university and moving into residence, and what not. I'll try to get around to reading some of your stuff, but as for now I'm concentrating on frosh week :)
no problem man, I always enjoy your stuff. and no hurry, reading my stuff either, haha.


oh, and I agree with Jake. I def. hear gang vocals ala Comeback Kid at the end haha.

[thecurerocks182]

no problem man, I always enjoy your stuff. and no hurry, reading my stuff either, haha.


oh, and I agree with Jake. I def. hear gang vocals ala Comeback Kid at the end haha.
lol...it sounds nothing like Comeback Kid. It is a really soft song compared to what I normally write.

[ArTkY_]

Hmm, I actually like the song. Your vocals could use some work, but you definitely got the emotion across.

[a speedo model]

Love the lyrics, downloading the song now. Will listen when I get home.

[CellarGhosts]

lol...it sounds nothing like Comeback Kid. It is a really soft song compared to what I normally write.
haha I see. I'll check out the song sometime.

...think you could read my new one, "St. Anthony (Introduction)"?
thanks.

[thecurerocks182]

Hmm, I actually like the song. Your vocals could use some work, but you definitely got the emotion across.
Thanks! You can probably tell where the unfinished vocals (which is what i was finalizing) began and the finished vocals ended. I had a day to record, so I tried to do all the songs that I had written, but hadn't recorded. I'm glad you enjoyed it, as I was worried that people would be turned off by it being more of a slow tempo song. Anyways, thanks for your input. I intend to finish vocals (whenever that may be) and polish up the lyrics with my spare time.
Love the lyrics, downloading the song now. Will listen when I get home.
lol...i'm glad you enjoyed the lyrics. I was a little frightened to post them due to its subject matter. Now, I can only hope that the music doesn't ruin it for you. I await for your response...
haha I see. I'll check out the song sometime.

...think you could read my new one, "St. Anthony (Introduction)"?
thanks.
lol...I've read that before.

PS- Feel free to check out the other songs I posted. They are still very much in preliminary stages, but your input is valued nonetheless. Thanks.

[a speedo model]

Hahaha, I actually really like this alot. It did sound rough the quality, but that's to be expected. Your voice is actually not bad, I thought it fit and was actually enjoyable, it never made me cringe or anything. Reminded me of Coheed's singer a bit, where it's different but not in a bad way haha. I seriously think with better equipment and production your stuff could be fucking awesome. Honestly, really liked this. I'd suggest submitting something for the AP compilation which will be in December because this stuff is great. Cheers.

[OveriseFan]

We are a millstone around one's neck!
Are you kidding?

Come on, man. I know you've heard that Brand New song, and don't say you didn't rip it from there. haha.

[thecurerocks182]

Hahaha, I actually really like this alot. It did sound rough the quality, but that's to be expected. Your voice is actually not bad, I thought it fit and was actually enjoyable, it never made me cringe or anything. Reminded me of Coheed's singer a bit, where it's different but not in a bad way haha. I seriously think with better equipment and production your stuff could be fucking awesome. Honestly, really liked this. I'd suggest submitting something for the AP compilation which will be in December because this stuff is great. Cheers.
Thanks a lot!! I know the quality isn't great, but it serves its purpose. Next year I'm going to build my own computer so production will get better... I hope. I wish I could record at studio, but around where I live it is $600 for a single song, so it doesn't look likely. Anyways, I'm glad someone enjoys (or remotely) my vocals lol. I will definitely try for the December compilation, though I'm not really sure how it works. Well, thanks again for your encouraging words! It means a lot.

We are a millstone around one's neck!
Are you kidding?

Come on, man. I know you've heard that Brand New song, and don't say you didn't rip it from there. haha.
lol...do you run a brand new check on me everytime I submit lyrics? I admit that I've heard that song (Millstone). However, the lyrics are actually a milestone around my neck. I dislike the line in general, as it is a filler line (as is a few lines in this song). Also, a millstone around one's neck is a common phrase. Oh well. Anyways, do you have any other thoughts on the song? I'd really appreciate it.

[Dr.Fuzzykins]

Maybe if you went for a deep voice rather than a high voice I think that might help it a bit. Also if you brought the vocals to the foreground a little more at the end. Other than that i thought it was very good.

[thecurerocks182]

Maybe if you went for a deep voice rather than a high voice I think that might help it a bit. Also if you brought the vocals to the foreground a little more at the end. Other than that i thought it was very good.
Thanks a lot for the constructive criticism...I apologize for taking so long to respond. I understand entirely what you mean. However, no matter how hard I try my vocals always sound the same, which I know is an acquired taste. As for the vocals being more in the foreground, this is most likely the result of doing my own producing. I am very self-conscious of my vocals, and sometimes what seems loud to me...really isn't to others. Anyways, thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed the song.



Anyways, to anyone who is interested in the song...I have posted an updated version of the song on here and my myspace page. I was home for the weekend so I was able to give some time to the song. I hope people check it out...thanks.

[kait.]

this what i was supposed to check out? ;-)

i listened to the song a couple of times. i like.
We are the deseperate and the lonely!
We are whatever comes to mind!
i love that.
I found contentment when the petals grew over me.
i found the petal image rather abrupt. and a little confusing.

i admit it, i adore anything to do with water pretty much unreservedly. so i reallyreally like your lyrics.
If this is what it takes
To find the best in me,
Then lace my hands together,
And I'll meet you
Under the tide.
gorgeous. i like the fact that you chose to use the word "lace". you're very good with controlling the tone in this piece.
We need some time to figure things out.
Why can't I believe what is said to me?
We need some time to discover ourselves,
And dig up the light we thought had died.
i'm not so delighted with this part, but there's nothing wrong with it.

"breathing in reverse" - i laughed. but i love that.

really nice work on this. i really, really like it.

as for whoever made that comment about getting "milestone" from brand new - the lyrics in the song are actually "i'm my own stone around my neck". juuust saying.

[lew_1987]

as always, i liked your lyrics. however i feel that this is the weakest piece you have written up to now, i think it lacks some of the usual crypticness that i enjoy about your lyrics. and as you know, your voice needs improvement. i'm sorry to keep shoving that down your throat, haha. i think that there are moments when your voice is quite good, and there are certain lines/words where you voice is off. you have good songwriting ideas though.