fallen

[xazurax]

I am falling. I am aware. At last, I am here.
The music of the sky falls upon my ears. The portrait of the world seeps into my eyes.
This is true beauty. This is innocence.
Days are passing, in endless simplicity. Blessed are we, for look around us. The colours, the sounds, the world we have at our feet, so much to take in.
Weeks are passing. It seems that some have trouble taking everything in. They have so much to be taught! Why do they dare waste time with trivialities! Why, when there is so much more unexplored.
Years are passing. We all have love for each other. At least, we all did. My mind’s eye cannot comprehend. They used to gaze; now they glare.
But suddenly, where did the beauty go? I am still here, still here. Still in the same place, nothing has changed. Yet my field of freedom… now, bound by restrictions. The picture drawn for me as I’d entered, it seems tarnished.
We are falling. We are aware. Somehow, we’re still here.

[kait.]

I am falling. I am aware. At last, I am here.
The music of the sky falls upon my ears. The portrait of the world seeps into my eyes.
This is true beauty. This is innocence.
i don't know why i like this bit so much, but i absolutely love it. the internal rhyme, the simplicity of it. it's beautiful, effortlessly so.
after that, i feel you entered more into a narrative-tone. telling your story. there's nothing wrong with that, of course, but the way you did it made it feel - too specific. like it relates to you but not necessarily to others.