Another Goddess (please comment/criticize)

[IGuessItsOkay]

You would not believe the steps
I have taken
to climb the pantheon
of your red hair, and neck
nothing has been useless.

With a Mother's sensitivity
and a Dad's mind,
I choke the lines
that made her perfect for me.
It has almost been too easy.

With the millenium comes my preferred death
on bleeding scars.
I am charred
for giving a match to a Tigress.
Oh, nothing means less.

Red black death eyes, perfect blue green
in scary nightmares.
Spiraling Red Hair.
A question mark halo's the word been
begging me, pleading, to scream.

I shut the door on undone things,
Leave this sensual palace.
How careless,
my tongue is in the door as the bell rings
and you come running, wearing nothing.

But I, foolish old me of uncertainty,
twist her lock,
feel the shock
of electric gates lit up for centuries.
Now there's nothing but memories.

Fully exposed, you are glowing
so bright
it burns my eyes.
The spinning globes spin slowing
and I am Descartes, knowing.

But now, my ruby skeleton,
I am the burried.
And I'm wary.
Your hair resembles my rising sun,
throbbing with each muttered shun.

And this room has been my death.
You've killed me, dear.
So insincere.
You know I will never accept second best,
and I am forever not your head-rest.

(please comment)

[IGuessItsOkay]

still no comments....come on...just one comment...please....by the way, I changed one stanza...instead of:
Fully exposed, you are glowing
so bright
it burns my eyes.
The spinning globe spins slowing
and I am Descates, knowing.

it is now:
Fully exposed, you are glowing
as the moon,
smooth, and nude.
The spinning globe spins slowing
and I am Descartes, knowing.

[wishingbutdying]

i think overall you wrote a good poem. the rhyme scheme works and you keep the pattern flowing nicely. your imagery is a bit distorted and im not quite understanding what is the theme of this piece of literature, i guess thats my only opinion. you've gotta grasp the reader and lure them in with your theme, make them soul-search and find similar beliefs, interest, experiences they've felt.

but other than that, i think it's a well-written poem.

that's my $ .02.

[jackson]

i'm not big on how everything rhymes. this is a generalized comment to everyone, not just you. i've noticed that nearly all poetry here has a rhyming scheme that runs full circle about every two lines. the great poets usually don't rhyme. it's about conveying imagery in a sense that others haven't before you, yet in a way that connects to the average reader. every kid here talks about burns and scars and blood and skeletons and death and all that. use different mediums. relate a relationship to a beach, or a game of dodgeball. regardless of how trivial the medium is, if you have talent you can make people believe it is something deeper, and that is when you have found your niche.

[chaosandlove]

it was a good poem. i liked how you kept it going through out the whole thing,and not getting weaker towards the end like a lot of other poems ive been reading. i think less rhyming would be ok..but not mandatory.ovreall,it was good,nice work,kudos.

[punk rock angel]

its a good poem. i liked it.

*side note*i have red hair :)