The Result of Extreme Boredom

[grayjay103]

well here are some songs i wrote...hope you like them.

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Fast Songs:
This song makes absolutely no sense to me at all...but umm yeah:

"Morphine"

Jack me up with morphine and throw me off a cliff
I never thought that you could make me so stiff
The cyanide won’t work and we’re all out of wine
I’ve stepped overboard and over the line

[Chorus]
If you were dead I’d rather me instead
So go and say you're fine
Cause I won’t be better off than I was-

Twist and turn until you bend and break
I though you were real but you're just a flake
All these things you thought that were so real
Do you know that I know you aren’t my ideal

[Chorus]
If you were dead I’d rather me instead
So go and say you're fine
Cause I won’t be better off than I was yesterday
You said you’re not that full of dread
So you try to find and realize
You’re better off dead

[Bridge]
So remember me (like the lies you make)
Sever me (like the hearts you break)
I’ll stay with you till you mend

[Chorus]
If you were dead I’d rather me instead
So go and say you're fine
Cause I won’t be better off than I was yesterday
You said you’re not that full of dread
So you try to find and realize
You’re better off dead



--------------------------------

Slow Songs:

"Leave it All Behind"

The first time it was
I couldn’t grasp myself
Apathetic and confused
Then the longing came

Couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t stay awake
But now I’m OK
Even if not in every way
But now I’m better off

[Chorus]
And if I don’t know why
Go ahead and pass me by
No longer will I cry
Because I just don’t have the time anymore
I’m happier than I was before

Realized in due time
I tried to make things up
An image of what I wanted
But not what was true

But I’m fine now
I don’t need you anymore
Now from my view it seems that you're…
Dead

[Chorus]
And if I don’t know why
Go ahead and pass me by
No longer will I cry
Because I just don’t have the time anymore
I’m happier than I was before

Having anything to do with it
Why keep lying to myself
I’m not OK, yr not OK
But at least I’m in good health

[Chorus]
And if I don’t know why
Go ahead and pass me by
No longer will I cry
Because I just don’t have the time anymore
I’m happier than I was before

So just push it away…
Leave it all behind
Nothing ever lasts
So don’t try to run it fast
Just quit…
And leave it all behind

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anyways i have a few more songs, but im going to wait until i see what you people think. I like critisism, but please, don't bash me. >__>

[mattybobviously]

This was awful, I stopped reading after the first one, it was all I needed to know.

[GhostMachine]

I like "Morphine" and "Leave It All Behind". Though a bit on the darker side, the beauty in the sorrow really catches me...especially since I have felt that way before. "Morphine", in my opinion, is definitely the best out of the three though. Its like a tale of love thats full of pain and I can completely relate to it.

[grayjay103]

This was awful, I stopped reading after the first one, it was all I needed to know.

well, i can pretty much see why you hated the first one, that was like one of the first songs i wrote (i wrote it about a year ago), and its pretty shoddy if you ask me...i guess maybe i should have put the better songs toward the top.

[absolutecrunk]

Stick to drumming. You seem pretty young, so wait a little while and you'll eventually stop using recycled lyrics and rhymes. Browse some of the stuff in this forum, you'll find some quality lyrics that will hopefully guide you in the right direction. You have a pretty long way to go.

[grayjay103]

Stick to drumming. You seem pretty young, so wait a little while and you'll eventually stop using recycled lyrics and rhymes. Browse some of the stuff in this forum, you'll find some quality lyrics that will hopefully guide you in the right direction. You have a pretty long way to go.

thanks, i will. im really big in drumming, but i really want to grow in my lyricwriting (if you can even call it that...) im never going to be Beck, but anyways i havent written anything new in a while, these are mostly old songs i just dug up from my computer.

[CellarGhosts]

sorry man, but none of these are any good.

Idk what else to say really, but you might want to delete this thread pretty soon, cause I'm sure before long, that at least one of the "elites" will find this and shit all over you haha.

or not, it's up to you.

anyway, good luck with your writing. you have a long way to go, but trust me, with practice and criticism, you'll get better.