Lost...

[angie710]

I just told the one person in my life who I need more than the air I breath that I dont want to talk to him anymore...

He lives far from me... and Im sick.. I cant even get out the words I need to... He couldnt promise me that we'd be together.. He says he loves me with everything he has inside... and because he dosent know if Ill make it ( Me being sick, he means if Ill die) so he dosent want to invest feelings into soemthing that may not last...

What do you guys think about that?? Im fucking devastated and Im at work and theres nothing I can do until I leave.. Its so hurtful..I hate it..

[zach]

hmmm that's a toughie. One the one hand, if he loves you as much as he says he dose, then it needs to be absolutly 100% unconditional. Thats why its called love. But on the other hand, he obviously has a strong fear of losing you, and may be worried that he wont be able to cope with it. Kinda jump ship now, so he's not on it when it sink sort of thing. Selfish? Yes. But if you love him as much as you say you do, you need to be able to understand and respect it.
Whatever happens though, I'm sure you'll pull through just fine. You've got a good head on your shoulders, and you seem to be quite the trooper. Stuff may suck now, but there is no doubt in my mind that in the end you're gonna come out on top.

[angie710]

Originally posted by zach
hmmm that's a toughie. One the one hand, if he loves you as much as he says he dose, then it needs to be absolutly 100% unconditional. Thats why its called love. But on the other hand, he obviously has a strong fear of losing you, and may be worried that he wont be able to cope with it. Kinda jump ship now, so he's not on it when it sink sort of thing. Selfish? Yes. But if you love him as much as you say you do, you need to be able to understand and respect it.
Whatever happens though, I'm sure you'll pull through just fine. You've got a good head on your shoulders, and you seem to be quite the trooper. Stuff may suck now, but there is no doubt in my mind that in the end you're gonna come out on top.


You are the best advice giver, ever...Zach, I understand, but what do I do? I want so desperatley to be with him...

[zach]

take some time off work and visit him.

[angie710]

I cant... It will be too hard saying goodbye..Plus.. I have treatments every other week...

[Shatter590]

wow...angie...*HUG*

I wish i could give you some advice now, but this is a bit of a shock.

I'll call you later, after you get home.

*HUG* again

[zach]

Originally posted by angie710
I cant... It will be too hard saying goodbye..Plus.. I have treatments every other week...
it will be worth it just to say hello. trust me on that one. as long as your back intime for your treatments it'll be fine

[mirtizzle]

:( i sorry.

i don't know if any of this will help.. but do you ever think that maybe the fact that this guy could be overshadowing others that could make you happy? i learned this the hard way... i had a friend who would always be the first guy i'd turn to for help about relationships and stuff at home, and we could tell each other our deepest darkest secrets and talk about anything that was bothering us... anytime i ever wanted to cry about a guy and ask for advice... he'd graciously help me... and one day, after hearing me bitch about a guy i was talking to who obviously was just leading me on, he told me that maybe i should stop looking so hard and just look around me.. and i asked him what he meant by that, and he said, "well, you complain about assholes and jerks but you never stop to think about the guy who'd do anything for you.."

and the sad thing is, i convinced myself that he didn't really mean anything by that, and that we were just good friends and he was speaking hypothetically.. until one day, he and i skipped class to go to the beach and we had such a great time and i realized that he was exactly what i wanted in a guy, and by then, he had started dating a girl.. who he's been dating for 2 years now.

and i wish i could kick my own ass for letting him go... so maybe this guy is everything to you.. but if you're not everything to him, i don't think it's worth the heartache. there could be someone who'd make your days worthwhile that you've overlooked..

[angie710]

Wow..I see your point...but I know how much I mean to him, I just think he's scared of what might happen...He said it would hurt so much more if we had something set in stone and something happens to me...


I dont know... I just fucking love him

[Shatter590]

I would have to agree witch Zach on this tho, love should be unconditional. Fear should never play a part if he truly loves you. it's what i hold myself to.

[zach]

keep in mind my love life has been less then exciting latly. Wait, that didn't help. Oh well, I still think that love should be unconditonal and that nobody should have to settle for sombody who dosn't realize this.

[angie710]

Well, we are talking again... I know its hard on him, my being sick, but I cant go on without him in my life...Not hearing him everyday pains me in ways it shouldnt... Its too much for him...So, we'll see what happens..If I come through, beautiful...We'll be together, possibly..If not...then...It was wonderful while it lasted, but I cant stop trying, I know he is meant for me... Its so cliche, but I've never actually believed that...

[Shatter590]

cliche maybe, but sometimes cliche leads to some awesome stuff.

[nards228]

You want cliche? Serendipity? Fate? My girlfriend and I were born in the same nowhere town of Santa Rosa, California and we both moved to the same town in Oregon. I didn't meet her until we were both in junior high school. I thought she was a stuck up little bitch, but we became pretty close around sophomore year and have been dating for a little over two years now.

You want tragedy? She has alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency, which means the odds that she'll live past 30-40 are pretty slim. It's a lung and liver disease that prevents you from rebuilding damaged tissue. She's an amazing artist currently at the Rhode Island School of Design (yes, THE Rhode Island School of Design) and I love her more than you can imagine. We never fight - never - and I'm convinced that we're soulmates.

The fact that she probably has less than two decades to live? That's something I can't help. Is it something that makes me sad? Unbearably so. Do I break up with her because I don't want to deal with that pain? Fuck no.

Sheltering oneself from pain only prevents oneself from experiencing happiness. Or, to put it in poker terms, you can't win what you don't put on the table. It applies to love just as aptly as it does to Texas Hold 'Em.

In other words, angie710, if the guy isn't willing to put his heart out there for you, then he's not worth it. Sounds sappy and maybe a little rough, but it's true. And I leave you all with an E. E. Cummings poem (yes, the "e's" are supposed to be capitalized):

it may not always be so;and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another’s,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another’s face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be –
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.



THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is love.



Rennard

[kornintee]

i love you... that was one of the most touching truthful things i have ever heard

[angie710]

Originally posted by nards228
You want cliche? Serendipity? Fate? My girlfriend and I were born in the same nowhere town of Santa Rosa, California and we both moved to the same town in Oregon. I didn't meet her until we were both in junior high school. I thought she was a stuck up little bitch, but we became pretty close around sophomore year and have been dating for a little over two years now.

You want tragedy? She has alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency, which means the odds that she'll live past 30-40 are pretty slim. It's a lung and liver disease that prevents you from rebuilding damaged tissue. She's an amazing artist currently at the Rhode Island School of Design (yes, THE Rhode Island School of Design) and I love her more than you can imagine. We never fight - never - and I'm convinced that we're soulmates.

The fact that she probably has less than two decades to live? That's something I can't help. Is it something that makes me sad? Unbearably so. Do I break up with her because I don't want to deal with that pain? Fuck no.

Sheltering oneself from pain only prevents oneself from experiencing happiness. Or, to put it in poker terms, you can't win what you don't put on the table. It applies to love just as aptly as it does to Texas Hold 'Em.

In other words, angie710, if the guy isn't willing to put his heart out there for you, then he's not worth it. Sounds sappy and maybe a little rough, but it's true. And I leave you all with an E. E. Cummings poem (yes, the "e's" are supposed to be capitalized):

it may not always be so;and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another’s,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another’s face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be –
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.



THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is love.



Rennard


That has left me speechless... Thank you, Rennard.. That was beautifully written and incredibly true... Im sorry to hear about your situation, but I commend you in every way I can for being strong and being that strong support system she needs... Wow... Keep posting..You are one of the very few people that know what they are talking about...

[ManOverboard689]

that was deep rennard....it touched me right here man [taps heart]

[punkbassist]

my props go to rennard