"Except When You're Shaving, Don't Look into Mirrors"

[overcast_kid000]

Surely I am rotting away
My decaying hands raise no more
I am but a mere shadow of what I once believed

Falling helplessly into the ever open
Jaw of apathy (will you save me)

Less of a Christian, more of a zombie
However dead I once was cannot compare to this

Note to self:
"Except when you're shaving, don't look into mirrors"

Because this face I cannot recognize
Stares back through monster's eyes
---

I'd like to hear what you guys have to say.

Chris

[asmolitor]

the word zombie makes the whole thing, kind of, "hokey." i think if you scrap that, and expand on things (it's pretty short)... it'd be pretty decent. i don't understand the Christian reference and why it would need to be there... but if you expanded on it, it'd fit.

[overcast_kid000]

Um...I use the word Christian because that's what I am. And it's what the song is about. The song is about falling into a slump with your faith, and losing your true relationship with God. I got so far away from God that I felt as if I had become a monster, I couldn't even look myself in the mirror.

[a speedo model]

Overall, this felt very simple and too familiar. It wasn't terrible, but it didn't say anything I haven't already heard before and the imagery was just too boring.

But keep writing, it takes time.

[nbaontcty]

its good in that kinda sense

i dont really like it but i dont not like it

[black rose]

Yea, I agree with Josiah [a speedo model]. Although I give you credit for liking the song "Intensity in Ten Cities" because at the moment, I'm obsessed with that song.