pretyXchemicals
10/23/03, 02:41 PM
hey boys and girls , i wrote these poems a while ago and just resently i looked at them and noticed that i dont like how they came out but i am not quite sure of what is wrong with them. so if anyone has any comments (good or bad) please tell me
no more
never did I think
that the stars would fall from the sky
but I was wrong
now the world is to big for me to handle
The darkness of ones life has taken over
and the dark shadows of sound have because human
there is nothing to look forward to
the world is now a wastland of terror
the heavens cry for help
as they shudder in fear
the last light has broken
as the demon stands and takes his bow
london's daughter and america's son
have crumbled of there thrown
what hope do we have
when there is no more
----------------------------------
kerri
standing there in the corner of the mirror
trying to disappear
breaking yourself down one by one
the image you see is not there
your insecurities are suffocating me
and so are your thoughts
on what you need to be perfect
why does it matter at all
all this
just to become a skeleton
and a zombie to your favorite TV icon
well then, congratulations kerri
-------------------------------------
finsh me
And now I try
to sit up and smile
as you tear me down
someone please save me
I put my heart on the table
but you rip it apart
oh dear god, why me?
why now?
My insides fall out in front of you
but I am still breathing
you know what to do
come on finish me, kill me
----------------------------
what have i done?
you now stand there looking at what you have done
looking down on this man
your anger has taking over your body
and now the guns in your hand
you look around for someone
anyone who could get help
you scream at the top of your lungs
"lord save me from this hell"
then you fall to your knees
and put your head in your hands in shame
there is no excuse for what you have done
you are the only one to blame
P.S. if you are going to criticize any of these poems I wrote, please have it be some constructive criticism. Please nothing like “ I like this poem” or “I hate this poem” or "this sucks".If your going to reply to anything please have something to back up what you have to say. Thank you
no more
never did I think
that the stars would fall from the sky
but I was wrong
now the world is to big for me to handle
The darkness of ones life has taken over
and the dark shadows of sound have because human
there is nothing to look forward to
the world is now a wastland of terror
the heavens cry for help
as they shudder in fear
the last light has broken
as the demon stands and takes his bow
london's daughter and america's son
have crumbled of there thrown
what hope do we have
when there is no more
----------------------------------
kerri
standing there in the corner of the mirror
trying to disappear
breaking yourself down one by one
the image you see is not there
your insecurities are suffocating me
and so are your thoughts
on what you need to be perfect
why does it matter at all
all this
just to become a skeleton
and a zombie to your favorite TV icon
well then, congratulations kerri
-------------------------------------
finsh me
And now I try
to sit up and smile
as you tear me down
someone please save me
I put my heart on the table
but you rip it apart
oh dear god, why me?
why now?
My insides fall out in front of you
but I am still breathing
you know what to do
come on finish me, kill me
----------------------------
what have i done?
you now stand there looking at what you have done
looking down on this man
your anger has taking over your body
and now the guns in your hand
you look around for someone
anyone who could get help
you scream at the top of your lungs
"lord save me from this hell"
then you fall to your knees
and put your head in your hands in shame
there is no excuse for what you have done
you are the only one to blame
P.S. if you are going to criticize any of these poems I wrote, please have it be some constructive criticism. Please nothing like “ I like this poem” or “I hate this poem” or "this sucks".If your going to reply to anything please have something to back up what you have to say. Thank you