here goes

[gobsta]

lemme know what you guys think
sweet nothings
your face is not the most beautiful face in the world
you are not the crowning achievement of this earth

your voice is not angelic nor is it crystalline
throngs of men do not swoon upon your words
and roses do not bloom because you sing

you are not a goddess or a saint
no puzzle piece or frivolous superlative

you are not the sunshine
not the starlight
nor the moon
you are no celestial body

your figure does not stop traffic
no glance of yours moves mountains
and sometimes

sometimes there are tears falling down your cheeks
sometimes your voice breaks
and you are not the mist at night
but you could be

and you are not the sandy beach
but you could be
and I would be the tide

because I know everything you are
and all that you are not
and I keep coming back to you

[lew_1987]

post this separately, it's annoying when there is more than one piece. people do it so much.

regarding the first piece: it isn't very good. you don't seem to advance much from the original point. you just repeat yourself over and over but using different phrasing. it is only when we come to the end of the piece that there seems to be some advancement from the original point. i think you can cut most of this out and make something else out of the space.

[paramore_addict]

dude...i mean it when i say that u r amazing. keep on writing, u got talent!

[gobsta]

bump and thanks to both of you for your comments