well i gotta new song....

[BuriedAlive]

I just came up with this last night, because my gf and I were on a bumpy road so i decided to write her a song, I dont think its all that good but i would like your comments.

with every walk
the footsteps like a horror film
I always know the outcome
but I continue to try and feed my passion
I just wish I could let it go
find a way to dissolve my selfish thoughts
I watch the mascra
as it slowly runs down your face
I see the dark black tears
and know they were only a self image of the hell i've put you through
with every tear
expressions now solvent in the words we attack with
a useless year
with every new problem
comes another new day
but you only seem to continue to slip away
I can never seem to catch you
I try so hard but my effort was lost
in the battle of world war 10 between us
my mind mauled by your abusive talk
but I'm sorry weren't the words that fell from my mouth
only anguish and selfpity seemed to fall from my lips
I cover my ears to slow the sound of your hate against mine
but I can't seem to make things better
but here's my lifelong list of apology
I just hope you can accept it,
accept that I cant dissolve my thougts
and stay away from the noose that holds you back
I wanna keep you here for ever and ever
with a sound of a permanent solution in hand
I can't live like this
just take your pain and give it to me
I will dissolve it into fuel
and let it burn to help me love you

[TheFallenScene]

I know I haven't posted in many weeks, but..here I am. Your songs, I always enjoy. The song posted here shows enough emotion that others can understand some of the struggles you two are probably going through. I hope she likes it man! Good job.

[BuriedAlive]

thanks man, anyone else got any comments on this song... any likes dislikes? anything? thanks for atleast looking at it but it would great if you would post your opinion.

[BuriedAlive]

bump... any suggestions?

[popdisaster530]

wow...

[BuriedAlive]

sounds like you really liked it popdisaster...

but hey what is your real name (popdisaster)... i hate calling people by their s/n.

[popdisaster530]

Ha, yea im Wil

[BuriedAlive]

well, will my name is chris... as if you couldnt already notice from my profile.

[tbs152]

damn nicely done

[BuriedAlive]

thanks tbs

[BuriedAlive]

looking for suggestions.

[punkpixie]

Holy cow!!!!! Im speechless! I am going to creep up on you and steal all your talent.......... Damn america seems so far away now, I dont think ive thought this through.:D lol. I cant make any suggestions, leave it as it is.

[BuriedAlive]

haha thanks. im quite speechless with what you had to say.

[saving face]

wow dude, once again another cool song, i really like your style of writing. keep em coming!

[BuriedAlive]

haha there is plenty just scroll down.

[BuriedAlive]

also thanks man for all the comments you have given me on my songs. its glad to know someone is enjoying my writings.

[heartagramq]

Good Lyrics Chris!

[BuriedAlive]

thanks man.

[heartagramq]

haha Fucker

[BuriedAlive]

Originally posted by heartagramq
haha Fucker

quit making a fool out of yourself.

[heartagramq]

u bitch im just learning all of this shit man damn!

[BuriedAlive]

Originally posted by heartagramq
u bitch im just learning all of this shit man damn!
now your really making a fool out of yourself.

[MaybeOneDay]

Chris, wow, amazing job. I really enjoyed this writing.

I don't have any criticism at all, keep it exactly the way it is. This one really blew me away. Definitely, without a doubt, my favourite song from you yet. Superb.

Also, the first two lines of the song were my absolute favourite part. Great starting, and the song flows wonderfully and is solid all the way through to the end. Nice work, bud.

[BuriedAlive]

thanks man. is it really that good? i never noticed that it is/was. but still thanks anyway brandon.

[MaybeOneDay]

no problem. yeap, its better than THAT good! haha nice work, my friend.

[BuriedAlive]

well damn. it sucks cuz i will never be able to compare to this writing.

[BuriedAlive]

any suggestions?

[BuriedAlive]

no other suggestions?

[falling_star]

just take your pain and give it to me
I will dissolve it into fuel
and let it burn to help me love you

i really like that part.. altho i noe nothing bout songwriting.. hmm..

[BuriedAlive]

Originally posted by falling_star
just take your pain and give it to me
I will dissolve it into fuel
and let it burn to help me love you

i really like that part.. altho i noe nothing bout songwriting.. hmm..
um thanks.

[ItalianPlaya42]

Hey bro, I guess your name is Chris... I must say that's unbelievable work. I can feel alot about what you're saying. I only wish my song-writing could come out the way yours did in this piece. Keep it going man, excellent work.

[Tbones]

Aw, that was really sweet Chris!

I especially like this part:

with every new problem
comes another new day
but you only seem to continue to slip away

That's a really great song. I only wish I could write like that!

Hope you and your girlfriend can make it through the tough times.

[BuriedAlive]

Originally posted by Tbones
Aw, that was really sweet Chris!

I especially like this part:

with every new problem
comes another new day
but you only seem to continue to slip away

That's a really great song. I only wish I could write like that!

Hope you and your girlfriend can make it through the tough times.

i wish we could have too. but we broke up about a month ago. im now in another relationship. its going ok for now.


ItalianPlaya42... thanks, sorry i dont know your name.

[ItalianPlaya42]

my name's tyler... i forgot to mention it. and once again, great work.

[RefusedsXe]

The last few lines were amazing.

[BuriedAlive]

Originally posted by ItalianPlaya42
my name's tyler... i forgot to mention it. and once again, great work.
oh ok nice to meet you tyler.

[BuriedAlive]

Originally posted by RefusedsXe
The last few lines were amazing.
thanks

[pUnkKid174]

"with every new problem..." and all the way down was great...i'd love it if i could write like you can...

[BuriedAlive]

"with every new problem..." and all the way down was great...i'd love it if i could write like you can...
thanks man. i just wish this song wasnt so true though. i mean this whole thing is real life. its also easy to relate. but thanks for the great compliment!

[Lueda Alia]

lol ahh I didn't know you were such a good writer.... but yeah, awesome song. I love it. :)

[BuriedAlive]

lol ahh I didn't know you were such a good writer.... but yeah, awesome song. I love it. :)
thanks. i didn't know so many people thought i was a good writer.

[pUnkKid174]

thanks. i didn't know so many people thought i was a good writer.
dude...it's true...and im not lying either...

[BuriedAlive]

dude...it's true...and im not lying either...
well thanks man.

[BuriedAlive]

bump.

[failedbullets]

bump.

Just gonna bump all your old shit? That's pretty smart.

Anywho, about the song. It's interesting to actually see the progression of your songs. The first few I read are of deeper substance than these- not saying these aren't deep, cuz they are, especially this one. And it's nice to see the maturity of an artist in their work, even after only a few months.

I do like this song, and I can relate. But now you have so much good stuff I can't determine my favorite. I think that's a good thing.

[BuriedAlive]

Just gonna bump all your old shit? That's pretty smart.

Anywho, about the song. It's interesting to actually see the progression of your songs. The first few I read are of deeper substance than these- not saying these aren't deep, cuz they are, especially this one. And it's nice to see the maturity of an artist in their work, even after only a few months.

I do like this song, and I can relate. But now you have so much good stuff I can't determine my favorite. I think that's a good thing.
thanks, i really appreciate that you take the time to read all the material i present for you. thanks, kris.