idk im nervous

[*~Sexi-Mexi~*]

Hey ya ya ha

Verse 1

You said that you cared about me
But then the next day you were gone
Ya know what
I really don’t care anymore
Cause I’m gone too
Ya know we were good for each other
You were everything that I needed
And I thought you were the one

Chorus

Are ya happy?
That you fooled me?
And broke my heart
You thought I’d mope around about you
But Hun…
I’m already gone and ya lost me
I’ve already moved on
There’s nothing holdin me on to you

Verse 2
Baby I loved you
But you were too scared to stick around
To find out what true loves about
Now you’re on your own
Cause I’m not waiting
For you to turn around
And be alright

Bridge
Did ya really think I’d sit?
Around and wait for you?
I mean sure I loved you
But I can’t just sit here
There are other fish in the sea
I mean how could someone not want this?
You’ll be sorry, you let me go
And I won’t care
Cause I’ll have someone else
To comfort me
You lost your chance
And I’m not going back to you

Chorus
Are ya happy?
That you fooled me?
And broke my heart
You thought I’d mope around about you
But Hun…
I’m already gone and ya lost me
I’ve already moved on
There’s nothing holdin me on to you
Cause Hun…
I’m already gone and ya lost me
I’ve already moved on
There’s nothing holdin me on to you

Hahaha

[wyverna]

i especially love the 'hahaha' at the end.

[Troggy]

i especially love the 'hahaha' at the end.

hahaha. terrible.

[seesky?fly.]

don't listen to that troggy loser, this is a good start

[Troggy]

don't listen to that troggy loser, this is a good start

It'd be way better if you both ignored people who know what they are talking about and continue to suck forever! Yay!

[*~Sexi-Mexi~*]

troggy ur an ass!!!!!

[crit]

lollllllll

[TheFury]

I thought everyone knew that if you posted lyrics you would get roasted? Apparently not.

[Troggy]

troggy ur an ass!!!!!

haha. cute.

I thought everyone knew that if you posted lyrics you would get roasted? Apparently not.

Who reads stickies anymore? I don't pick at people who are good or developing into good writers, I like taking time to look over things and give feedback, but when things are just awful I'm not going to write long explanations full of euphemisms to make people feel better. This is the internet, you don't have to take everything so personally. Sometimes people are better off with a straight (if blunt) answer.

[TheFury]

Yeah that's true, but how often do you see a good a peice of writing whether it be lyrics or a poem?

[GhostMachine]

About as often as a hamster has babies with an elephant...I think.

[sirdownpour]

Personally, this seems more like a free verse poem then a song. But I like it.

[lovely864md]

oh sweety, this is absolute shit

[sirdownpour]

oh sweety, this is absolute shit


Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you can be an "absolute" bitch. Okay, sweety?

[lovely864md]

Just because this is the internet doesn't mean you can be an "absolute" bitch. Okay, sweety?

this has nothing to do with it being the internet, it's just an awful attempt

[sirdownpour]

this has nothing to do with it being the internet, it's just an awful attempt

That doesn't mean you can act like that. Have ethics. Manners. Morals. Be, say, nice.

[lovely864md]

I'm not going to be nice if I don't think this has any quality. I could have easily flamed this and pointed out everything wrong with it, but I didn't, did I? There's nothing of merit here, so why should I pretend there is? When I was 13, I could've and would've written something very similar to this. That doesn't mean it's any good. If she only got good comments, how would she know that she needs to improve? She posted here, she should be ready to deal with any and all opinions on it. Not everything is gumdrops and rainbows.

[sirdownpour]

I'm not going to be nice if I don't think this has any quality. I could have easily flamed this and pointed out everything wrong with it, but I didn't, did I? There's nothing of merit here, so why should I pretend there is? When I was 13, I could've and would've written something very similar to this. That doesn't mean it's any good. If she only got good comments, how would she know that she needs to improve? She posted here, she should be ready to deal with any and all opinions on it. Not everything is gumdrops and rainbows.

Even dictators pretend to be nice in order to keep up appearances. haha Whatever, I'm not your daddykins, so I could really care less.

[gobsta]

the point of submitting writing to any sort of thing like this whether its on the internet or in real life is to hear what people think of it. that means both good and bad. in this case, theres a lot of room for improvement, but you're 16 so you have a lot of time. that said, this could easily be a pop song today. i wouldn't like it, but i don't like most pop songs.

[Roboman]

Hahaha, I knew this was going to be terrible once I saw the username below the thread title on the main page.

[sirdownpour]

Hahaha, I knew this was going to be terrible once I saw the username below the thread title on the main page.

Yes, because I think "awesome" when I read "Roboman." You're just as bad as some of these other jackasses. Possibly even worse, because you're attacking the writer not the work.

[Roboman]

Yes, because I think "awesome" when I read "Roboman." You're just as bad as some of these other jackasses. Possibly even worse, because you're attacking the writer not the work.

Thanks kid, I'll keep that in mind.

[arel13]

uhhhhhhhhhh i don't really like it...not my style

[strobelife]

Wow. I agree with downpour. Lovely, you said you could have easily flamed this but you didnt. You also could have easily said nothing at all. You chose to be an asshole. And roboman... that was hilarious, you should be a stand up comedian.

On the other hand I didnt really like this. The blatant misspelling of you. And this part this part. "Did ya really think I’d sit? Around and wait for you?" You dont need a question mark after sit. There were others too. This is only one of them.

[wyverna]

i don't see why everyone's picking on mary.

the lyrics/poetry forum has always been harsh. that's how kids learn. and this is obviously not very good.

[lovely864md]

Yes, because I think "awesome" when I read "Roboman." You're just as bad as some of these other jackasses. Possibly even worse, because you're attacking the writer not the work.

Listen, and I'm being 100% serious here, you are NOT going to make any friends on this board if you keep attacking people, especially those who have done nothing to you specifically. Please, for everyone's sake, chill out.

[GoWaitInTheCar]

You hurt America writing like this.

[GoWaitInTheCar]

About as often as a hamster has babies with an elephant...I think.


How absurd is this thread?

[to kill this]

Hahaha, I knew this was going to be terrible once I saw the username below the thread title on the main page. ditto haha

i think this could be used as a warfare tactic...much like monty python's world's deadliest joke sketch. wowwww hahaha

[black rose]

Sorry, but like most people said, it's pretty much awful. I think that I'm supposed to tell you that you have potential and that you should try again. But I really don't know what to say on this one.

And your profile pic: classy, real classy.